posted on December 12, 2004 06:43:43 PM new
I just need to tell somebody. I got laid off from my job at the end of July. Everything was going pretty good with Ebay and my Vendio store. I then opened an Ebay store also and it is doing really well.
Then the bottom fell out. My had a really big medical bill, my car insurance came due, my website fees came due (something I have to have because it is part of my income)and some other smaller but still kind of big one time things came up. Now it's Christmas and I am flat broke. My car note is due, my eBay fees are due, I need medicine (I have asthma)and all the other regular bills are due. I don't know what I'm going to do. It's just me. There's not another income or anyone to help.
My mom and dad are on a fixed income and my dad was in the hospital 3 times over the summer. My only brother just retired and started his own business. He would help, but I don't think he is able to right now.
So, there is a job opening for one Sugar Daddy. All you need to qualify is money and be willing to spend it.
Thanks for listening.
Debbie
Be kind. Everyone is fighting their own secret battles.
...Author Unknown
posted on December 12, 2004 07:21:49 PM new
give us your website URL and we send some sugardaddy wannabees to the site!!
-sig file -------Life is one big happy 'All You Can Eat' buffet .
posted on December 12, 2004 08:10:02 PM new
I'll take one too if you have one left over. I dont ask for much either. 10 years as a single parent is long enough for me.
posted on December 12, 2004 08:47:18 PM new
First: Ignore Christmas, it'll be there next year.
Second: Don't you collect unemployment?
Third: If you have children call your county.
Fourth: Sell everything you can and do not buy anything.
Fifth: Call all your creditors and explain the situation...might not help with all of them but some might give you some leeway.
Sixth: Do like I do..buy lottery tickets and hope for the best!
Seventh: Go to church...there may be men there!!!!!
posted on December 12, 2004 08:48:37 PM new
If I could go just one day, just one single day without worrying if I"m going to get an eviction notice, if they are coming to take my car, is my kid gonna grow out of her shoes, If I'm EVER going to get child support again...
I'll be so glad when Christmas is over with. I almost wish she didn't still believe in Santa so that when she doesn't get much she knows it's my fault, not that she wasn't good enough for Santa. We did an angel tree name draw where I work, where everyone paired up and picked a name off of an angel tree in the town. Little do they know my own kid's name is on an angel tree somewhere else. Can't buy for my own but I gotta buy for another one.
A sugar daddy would be great about now.
I know you didn't mean for this thread to turn all sour and down in the dumps, so I apologize. It's just nice to know there is someone else out there taht feels like I do.
posted on December 12, 2004 08:51:53 PM new
Crowfarm, I know you meant GTootie but I'll answer you too...
1. I can't, I have a 9 year old
2. I work
3. We get medical assistance through the state. She's too old for WIC.
4. I try
5. I dont have a lot of outstanding bills, just normal day to day stuff ~ rent, car payments, etc.
6. Never thought of that. Maybe I'll do that once in a while
7. I do that, every Sunday. Religiously.
If I got child support like I'm supposed to it would take a huge load off my shoulders. But I can't now nor have I ever been able to rely on it.
posted on December 12, 2004 09:05:01 PM new
Thanks for the advice Crow
First: I can't either. I am back living at my parents house. Which is OK, just depressing because it's not my house. I'll post some pictures later so you can see why Christmas can not be ignored here.
Second: I haven't had to up till now. I guess I will have to though.
Third: I don't have any. Can't have them. My only child was my dog that I had for 13 years. When he died it almost killed me too. No husband, no kids, no money, no job, no home. See why I am depressed?
Fourth: I have sold almost everything I own and I haven't anything for myself in months. I don't even have any decent clothes anymore.
Fifth: I'm way past that.
Sixth: With my luck that would be throwing money away.
Seventh: There are men there. And they are all poor or married.
Be kind. Everyone is fighting their own secret battles.
...Author Unknown
posted on December 12, 2004 09:09:28 PM new
Man according to the people I talk to I'm the only one who feels like this around the holidays (or nearly any other time).
Glad to know I have company. I still haven't even put up a Chrsitmas tree. It will take everything I have to actually do that and I Know I HAVE to because I have a child. If I didn't have her the day would pass like any other day. That's really sad
posted on December 12, 2004 10:07:41 PM new
Drive around sunday morning and look for a church with fancy cars and no minivans.
You might get lucky!
;P
My only suggestion: Call temp agencies. Once you get _one_ measly job and they know you will show up, work it all the way through, and do a good job, they will start calling you like mad.
Buses are your friend.
Don't forget to check into state sponsored health insurance.
Sigh.
Good luck, don't stress, asthma is a bad thing with stress.
Look at the bright side: you have most of your health! Your parents are there to help you!
It's nearly new year, people start hiring and doing that sort of "got to get back in gear" thing.
Good luck!
+++++
It's easier to watch a camel get stuffed
through the eye of a needle, than watch
a man use heaven to get all his friends rich
posted on December 13, 2004 04:18:17 AM new
Helga -- There is a law firm that handles support cases. If you are owed more $5,000 or more, they will take the case. They are a national agency. It's 1-800-supportkids. Or go to www.supportkids.com. (I think that is the web address.) Also, check into government assistance. Because you are working, it may qualify you for additional benefits.
Debbie -- Have you checked into SS disability? You may qualify. If not, look into government assistance. You may qualify for medicaid (or whatever they call your state insurance).
posted on December 13, 2004 04:41:50 AM new
Helga and Debbie
Been there, done that and even though things have looked up this year, I'm still standing on the edge. I think it's that way for most of us these days. The economy stinks and that's reflected in eBay sales. Inflation is up (although good luck getting the White House to admit that) and paychecks are down.
My grandparents made it through the depression. It was hard, but they did it. If they survived one of the toughest times in American history, I can survive now.
Debbie, I don't know about the rules in your state, but here in Ohio you'd be eligible for the food card. I suggest you apply. It won't be much, but it's better than nothing. Get the unemployment. You worked for it and should be getting it. Look up the free clinics in your area, if there are any. Most have programs you can apply to for free medication. In fact, you may even want to contact some of the pharmaceutical companies. My brother is HIV+ with no insurance. He's on a special program to get at least his meds for free.
Oh, boy can I relate to the eBay bill being due! I have no suggestions there, sorry. Contact your creditors. Your auto financing company would rather work with you than against you. It's cheaper to have you pay your note than it is to repo the car and then try to make the money up in selling it. Sometimes, the only way to go in bankruptcy. Some attorneys will allow you to make payments towards filing it. Use it as a last resort. There's no shame in it during these bleak economic times.
I know it's hard to have this happen during the holidays. I know this first hand. But, you will survive it and you'll survive it stronger. Hone your sewing skills and re-make some of the clothes you have. It's fun and it will take your mind off of what you don't have.
Most of all, think more of what you do have - a loving, caring family that has welcomed you back into their home - than what you don't.
Cheryl
"Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have so many stupid leaders."
-Sloan Wilson
posted on December 13, 2004 06:27:27 AM new
HI DIane
I know about Support Kids. YOu have to be owed at least $5,000 and then if they find him and get your money...they take a percentage of it every single time you get a check from him. I'm not owed that much (even though it feels like it) but I think it should be Domestic Relations responsiblity to make him pay, I shouldn't have to pay someone to make him keep his obligation. You know?
posted on December 13, 2004 06:51:07 AM new
Helga -- So what if they take a percentage out??? You would at least be getting SOMETHING. Right now you are getting NOTHING. You must remember that by going through domestic relations, you are one of thousands of other cases. You have to wait. By paying someone to go after him, you will get your money faster. If you don't want to pay somebody, go after him yourself. File the papers. Do you have a court order for support? If so, it's so easy to schedule a hearing before the judge and go after him. I did! I went after him so hard and fast, pushing to toss his butt in jail. Instead, he was put into a program where he had to pay each Friday or appear before a judge on Monday and explain why. It was nice getting those checks each week. The only problem was that he completed the 6 months, and promptly moved out of state. BUT, I do get something because jail time is always hanging over his head. He KNOWS that I will fly up to where he is and push until I land him in jail or he pays. He still plays games, but he knows where my limit is. And he KNOWS if he pushes me too hard, I'll drag him back into court.
posted on December 13, 2004 06:56:11 AM new
He was in jail this past March due to non payment. He was put on a program where he has to have proof of work every friday. That lasted for 2 months. He has since moved out of state (I think he's in Ohio) and pays intermittendtly, like $20 here or there. His order says his amount is to be paid the last day of each month or he goes to jail. It says he is to maintain a job and provide proof that he's trying to obtain and sustain viable income every Friday. He doesn't do that either. I have called Domestic Relations to the point where they know my name when I call, they dont even have to get a record number. They say it's "harder" because he's out of state.
If I were put in jail over something like that that would be all it would take. You can bet I wouldn't screw it up again.
posted on December 13, 2004 07:09:44 AM new
Helga -- Very recently (and from what I understand), a federal law was passed where it doesn't make any difference which state that the ex resides in -- that the order is still enforceable and the case simply needs to be transferred into that state. When I was looking into it (prior to this new law), I had to hire an attorney in Illinois and a private detective. I had to open a new case in Illinois and have the old case merged into the new case. It was going to be a big expense and huge headache.
If I were in your shoes, I would find out exactly where he is (try relatives). I would then contact the state attorney's office for that state and proceed from there. I would be absolutely relentless (as I have been in my own case). I refuse to let him get away with it (not after what he's done to me!)!!!
posted on December 13, 2004 08:15:53 AM new
gtootie,
you mention you are living with your parents.
do they have extra room,may be you can take on renter ??
-sig file -------Life is one big happy 'All You Can Eat' buffet .
posted on December 13, 2004 09:02:55 AM new
Debbie and Helga,
Have you tried telling your priest/pastor about your problems? They usually are very aware of all the local aid that's available. If you're in a small town, they may even have leads on jobs.
I truly hope that things get better for both of you soon.
posted on December 13, 2004 09:45:32 AM new
yes,i used to know a widow who has handicapped fraternal twins,one day she brought them to attend sunday church and thats when the church found out her situation & helped her-babysitting,nurse aide,etc.(she was trained as a nurse).She landed a job as housesitter for a summer home,babysitting,nurse aide for sick oldies whose hubby played golf etc.
-sig file -------Life is one big happy 'All You Can Eat' buffet .
posted on December 13, 2004 12:00:01 PM new
When I new in town I placed a personal ad. I didn't know what to except. Turns out there are lots of men out there looking for "someone" to take care of. Well, I was just looking for dates not a sugar daddy. Turns out I had many offers but..... instead of taking them up on their offers I ended up being coming friends with a lot of these guys.
Anyway I turned the friendships into a postion as a personal assistant. My duties are: shopping, making phone calls, making appointments. I love doing this and it puts the extra money in my pocket.
So if you have busy friends, you might want to ask if they need any help.
posted on December 13, 2004 12:07:27 PM new
I feel for you two. Life can be so hard!!
Debbie - go sign up for that unemployment!! You DO need it and are entitled to it! Perhaps your brother could at least help with the ebay bill so you can keep earning $ until the checks start coming in. If I were you, the last thing I would let go is ebay because that is your sole source of support now. Don't order more inventory until you can see your way clear - especially if Christmas is your best sales time and the season is almost over. Sell off unsold inventory - maybe have an end of the year "sale" to generate quick cash. Hopefully unemployment plus ebay earnings can help you dig your way out. Maybe selling the car is a good idea - especially if your parents have one that you can use. One thing I have heard about Sugar Daddys - if you marry for money you will earn every penny of it.
You both are in my prayers.
**********************************
"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "...holy sh@#...what a ride!"
posted on December 13, 2004 12:27:23 PM new
Definitly sign up for unemployment! that would help tons! Your lucky to be able to live at your parents too
And I used to be a single mom with no support at all from their father, course he quit his job and moved out of state, and still doesn't work! after 15 or so years (my kids put a bug in my ear to go after him for back child support he owed all the years before, but I won't)
There is state insurance in most states, hope yours is one.
All the things these posters mentioned are great advice.
posted on December 13, 2004 01:58:21 PM new
Sugardaddy.com,,,,,,,fer real! I just typed it UP and there it Was! All your answers Are there! Well, I saw quite a few anyway.
posted on December 13, 2004 02:52:09 PM new
having a car gives you more mobility - you ccan drive people around,there are oldies who need ride to go to doctor office or shopping.
it is hard to go on job interview or garage sale without a car.
i still say think of taking renters,my neighbor has a 2 storey house with 3 bedrooms,we are not allowed to rent any part of our house but he is doing it,he is foreign born and take in his own countrymen.country women.
I dont know why he is doing it,may be he likes the money.
But if you advertise in newspaper and screen carefully,you could have a nice tenant who contributes to household expense.
-sig file -------Life is one big happy 'All You Can Eat' buffet .
posted on December 13, 2004 03:34:47 PM new
Hi Everyone
Thank you all for your kind answers and advise.
I can't sell my car for many reasons. First of all, I bought it shortly before I got laid off. I can't sell it for what I owe on it. If I sell it, I will be out of a car and still owe on it.
I also live in a small town in Louisiana. I have to have a car. Nothing is within walking or biking distance. And my Dad is in bad health. I have to have a reliable way to get him to the doctor or hospital. And I have to have a way to get my Mother to him if he is in the hospital.
I can't take in boarders or renters. I live in someone else's house rent free. I don't think they would be happy if I brought in a boarder and certainly not if I kept the rent money.
I don't have to worry about food stamps. I eat with my landlords.
Thanks again. I appreciate all of your support.
Debbie
Be kind. Everyone is fighting their own secret battles.
...Author Unknown
posted on December 13, 2004 04:35:46 PM new
gtootie,
i lived in Big Easy for many years,do you know among the antique dealers,the best place to buy is the south such as LA and OK,and the best place to sell is Northeastern states.
anyway,i hope you find interesting things to resell ,where are you??
I know when my neighbors both checked into nursing home,his son flew down from NYC to clean house,his parents never throw anything away for 60 years,plus anytime someone threw something out and left it on the curb,the old man will haul it back into his back shed.
The son has to hire a 3 men team with a truck to haul away the junks and tear down the garage,he gave me something to sell but boy,the 3 men were so exhausted and disgusted,they wont let me have some of the stuff like a tall beer bottle shaped like a monkey!!
-sig file -------Life is one big happy 'All You Can Eat' buffet .
posted on December 13, 2004 05:01:12 PM new
"I live in someone else's house rent free. I don't think they would be happy if I brought in a boarder and certainly not if I kept the rent money.
I don't have to worry about food stamps. I eat with my landlords."
Not meaning to seem like a Grinch but how come I'm having a really, really hard time dredging up any sympathy?
