posted on December 13, 2004 05:21:13 PM new
Oh Tom!
Yeah, right... I'd rather be green with cash but my mortgage is a whopper!
Did you read about the man whose Christmas lights house decoration got stopped because it was drawing too much traffic? He put a ten-foot Grinch in his yard with the finger pointing right at the neighbor who complained. Too funny!
The people next door to my Mom have their entire house and garage completely covered in lights. A little village in the front yard, etc. She doesn't mind, doesn't have to turn on her outside lights. Neither does PG&E. His electric bill has got to be out the roof.
posted on December 13, 2004 05:23:38 PM new
Hi Gtootie,
I am very saddened to hear of your hurt and your constant worry, ever since I read your post it has been on my mind so much that my body hurts inside from just thinking and worrying about what your feeling right now and this time of year makes it feel even worse especially since you have a child who has not scene the world the way we have.
I have also been in your position with 4 children so I do know what its like, and now that my children are grown and a two married I thank God every day for giving me the strength to do whatever I could to make my family happy, its not the gifts or the expensive things that make children happy, it's the love and time you share with them, letting them understand that there is more to life then material things.
There are lots of ways for you to make this Holiday a special one for you and your daughter and what you teach her now will grow with her for the years ahead, trust me what I'm saying, I can't go into it all in here but the future will be good.
You reached out to us here and I felt the need to respond and let you know that you are not alone, but knowing that will not pay your bills, or make you feel better.
What you need to do is like others suggested, call all the creditors and try to work things out with them on a temporary basis, also you do need to make money even if its doing odd cleaning jobs for some older people, or errands like was mentioned, something is needed by many people. The place to start is in the Church, the Pastor will direct you to the right people who are in need of someone like you, who is healthy and who can help others for a fee.
The Church will do all it can to help you get back on the right track, I can not go into it fully in here but I have helped a couple who had 3 children and they were sleeping in a van in the parking lot at night. I took them to my home and did everything to help them get back on there feet, these were people I didn't even know. Well time passed and the husband did nothing but sit around and drink beer, I gave them money, I fed them, bought diapers, you mention it I did it, but that was not the help they really needed, it only made the both of them lazy and they both did nothing as I worked my ass off all day in the shop and come home to cook and clean for them and my kids.
Finally I called the Church and told them of this couple and asked if they can help them because I can't do it anymore, they were using me, and wearing me out. The church set them up in a home, paid the bills, gave them food, they did everything for them, then a year later now she had 4 children. The husband still didn't work. One nite at a bar the husband shot two men and killed them, to shorten this story, he is in jail for life now..........
Now you wonder why am I telling you this story, well it's just so you can see that it's not help you need as much as you need to......Help Yourself. That is the first step, temporary help is ok, but remember that is the stepping stone, the next step is You yourself, you have to make the biggest effort you can to do whatever you are able to do. If you can do that you will be on your way to a better life for you and your daughter. Gtootie, please don't be offended by my posting, it's ment to help you see further then just today.
I wasn't asking for sympathy so you don't have to work up a sweat trying to find some. I am very lucky to have a place to live and have someone provide me with food, but I do my share and I also give back to my parents.
I have been on my own and paid my own bills since I was 15 years old. I have never asked anybody for anything. That is why this is so hard. I don't like having to depend on others even if they are my parents.
It is also hard for me to talk about it or tell anyone else. That is why I came in here. Because I needed to tell someone. It is hard to deal with something like this alone. If you find it offensive, you don't have to read it.
Be kind. Everyone is fighting their own secret battles.
...Author Unknown
posted on December 13, 2004 06:06:16 PM new
tonimar1
I think you have me confused with Helga. I don't have any children.
And I am helping myself. I have my eBay and website sales, which I work very hard at. I also do bookkeeping for the local American Legion and a dentist. And I do other contract jobs whenever I find one.
I have tried very hard to make it on my own. Without unemployment, welfare or any other assistance.
Be kind. Everyone is fighting their own secret battles.
...Author Unknown
posted on December 13, 2004 06:23:27 PM new
Crowfarm, you're right on the button. Five months without applying for unemployment? I have no idea what the laws are in Louisiana but in California, unless she was fired there would be no waiting period.
I temped for a few years before I was hired by PG&E. Same office - I backfilled for all the clerks when they were on vacation. When my assignment was ending I'd tell my boss I had to leave early that Friday. He'd ask why and I'd let him know it was the day for me to get down to the unemployment office! He'd crack up! Finally, after the longest job interview in history, someone retired and he was free to hire me.
posted on December 13, 2004 06:24:07 PM new
I read this over and was wondering the same thing as Lucy. Most of us have our usual expenses with ebay fees, car insurance, house insurance, etc and unexpected expenses with vehicles that break down and household repairs, etc. Isn't that life and some years are better than others?
Just because it's Christmas is it that important to spend money on gifts? How can you have a job in July and have clothing and suddenly you don't have any or are you used to new outfits each season?
For anyone feeling hard done by but who still has a roof over their head and food to eat, I suggest they take a walk downtown and look at the homeless and get a reality check.
BTW, I thought someone mentioned here that they were voting for Bush because he cared about single moms so they have faith in him and were praying for him. Write him and maybe he'll become your Sugar Daddy?
posted on December 13, 2004 06:29:50 PM new
Hey Tom
I know all that. I have spent the past twenty years in bookkeeping. I had a really great job and the best boss I have ever had. But one of the surgeons in the clinic left. Now they are having some serious financial problems. They had to cut the staff. I was one of the last ones hired and so I was one of the first laid off.
Like I said before, I was doing OK with my sales and my other part time jobs. If I file on my unemployment their rate will go through the roof. I didn't want to be responsible for anyone else losing their job. And I will admit, I didn't want to go down and sign up.
Be kind. Everyone is fighting their own secret battles.
...Author Unknown
posted on December 13, 2004 06:35:27 PM new
Crow, Lucy and Kiara
I worked in a clinic and wore scrubs. I didn't say I don't have clothes, I just don't have any nice one any more. Because I don't buy things for myself.
I DO NOT have a child. I AM NOT a single mother.
Who said anything about buying Christmas presents?
I am having a hard time financially. I am a little depressed. I wanted someone to talk to. I don't want your money. I am not asking you for anything. I just wanted someone to talk to.
Be kind. Everyone is fighting their own secret battles.
...Author Unknown
posted on December 13, 2004 06:41:39 PM new
tootie,,,,,Who CARES if their Unemployment rates go through the roof.....You are on the Streets,they hired someone else,CHEAPER....did they CARE about YOU? NO! And I highly DOUBT you filing is going to have ANY affect on their rates...You NEED to be talking to the UNEMPLOYMENT Office people. not us. AND you are NO longer there,so therefore you have NO aFFECT ON anyone WHO STILL IS....Why did you NOT go immediately and FILE?
posted on December 13, 2004 06:48:24 PM newkiara: <snicker> <snicker> <chortle><chortle>...
See, I was a good little DEMOCRAT! I didn't even bring THAT up
OTOH: pigs will fly over the WHITE CLIFTS OF DOVER, whistling "I KNOW WE'LL MEET AGAIN SOME SUNNY DAY," out their butts, before Dubya would end up caring more than 3 shakes of a coke-spoon about single mothers, or ANYTHING other than how to keep his good buds like "Kenny-Boy" Lay rolling in Enron stock (whoopsie...) & reprehensible TAX-BREAKS crushing the USA with the worst DEFICIT in history...
Tain't much to PANDER there, now is there? He be STRONG against illegal immigration...WHOOPSIE! Need to PANDER to the HISPANIC voters, so, hey, what a GREAT IDEA drivers licenses for illegals turns out to be...PANDERS to the gay GOP (LOG CABIN REPUBLICANS) in 2000 -- WHOOPSIE! Need to keep them from marrying in 2004...
Pander-Bear couldn't care less about anything other than a long line of COKE & a big SHOT of Jim Beam.
Don't ya know those poor IRAQIS need NEW: HOSIPITALS & SCHOOLS & POWER GENERATING PLANTS & ROADS & SEWERS & BILLIONS & BILLIONS & BILLIONS & blood & blood & tears...
posted on December 13, 2004 06:49:12 PM new
Jack, Yes their rate will go up. Like I said he was a good boss. They didn't hire anyone to replace me. They were cutting staff.
Helga, I know what you mean.
Lucy, I worked in a "clinic" with "doctors". One of the rules was everyone wore scrubs, same color on the same day.
And like Helga, we are no longer talking. I don't need this crap.
Be kind. Everyone is fighting their own secret battles.
...Author Unknown
posted on December 13, 2004 06:51:46 PM new
Gtootie, I was addressing others too. I realize you don't have a child.
Now it's Christmas and I am flat broke.
I'll post some pictures later so you can see why Christmas can not be ignored here.
Those two comments were why I made the comment about Christmas gifts.
No husband, no kids, no money, no job, no home. See why I am depressed?
You have some jobs that you do and that you get paid for. Be proud of yourself that you've developed a website that can earn you some money. You have a place to stay and you have food. I realize it may be a step down from a previous lifestyle as I've had to go through it myself over the years and it's hard to deal with.
And I know that Christmas can be depressing for lots of people. Sorry if I sound nasty but I'm just saying to look around you and realize how fortunate you truly are compared to so many others out there.
posted on December 13, 2004 07:13:25 PM new
Gee, this looks like another one of those threads where everyone has to agree and only show sympathy and if any reality is spoken they all run off. Hrmfph!!
Hey, Tom! I tried so hard to be good, but I remembered that and I couldn't help myself.
posted on December 13, 2004 07:32:52 PM new"He had no further intercourse with Spirits, but lived upon the Total Abstinence Principle, ever afterwards; and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God Bless Us, Every One"
Deck us all with Boston Ralphie,
Walla walla, Wash., an' Kalamazoo!
Nora's freezin' on the trolley,
Swaller dollar cauliflower alley'garoo!
Don't we know archaic barrel,
Lullaby lilla boy, Louisville Lou?
Trolley Molly don't love Harold,
Boola boola Pensacoola hullabaloo!
Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
Polly wolly cracker n' too-da-loo!
Donkey Bonny brays a carol,
Antelope Cantaloup, 'lope with you!
Hunky Dory's pop is lolly gaggin' on the wagon,
Willy, folly go through!
Chollie's collie barks at Barrow,
Harum scarum five alarum bung-a-loo!
Duck us all in bowls of barley,
Ninky dinky dink an' polly voo!
Chilly Filly's name is Chollie,
Chollie Filly's jolly chilly view halloo!
Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
Double-bubble, toyland trouble! Woof, Woof, Woof!
Tizzy seas on melon collie!
Dibble-dabble, scribble-scrabble! Goof, Goof, Goof!
~with mucho gratitude to all our wonderful SWAMP friends...
posted on December 13, 2004 07:51:02 PM new
gtootie I have a short time fix for you and it is almost an immediate job. As long as you are a bookkeeper go to H & R Block as that would be a great job for you. I see they are getting their offices ready. Then start your own tax business next year.
While working at the election polls a poll watcher sat next to me. During the course of the day we had some great conversations. One was he was a bookkeeper but when he was younger he had the opportunity to go to Abbott Lab's to work. Great Salary, Benefits and just a great place to work. On the side he did taxes. He said his tax business paid for his home, vacations and many extra's. Saved his salary. He is now retired.
Good Luck - I hope this helps....
Remember there is never a dumb question no matter what answers you get it will give you an incite of what kind of people we are dealing with. There will always, even though small, be some experience you get from them.
_________________
To Quote John Kerry in his concession speech. "But in an american election, there are no losers, because whether or not our candidates are successful, the next morning we all wake up as Americans
posted on December 13, 2004 08:02:17 PM new
Gtootie...I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time of it.. I wish good fortune for you in the New Year. I understand that you need your car.. in rural La.. there are no buses or transport. In small town La or Miss... the jobs are few and far between, and usually are passed down from one generation family member to the next. Maybe a job at the local mall or walmart until something better comes up?
I am sorry too that there are some who can't find it in their heart to find a kind word when you are reaching out for just that...there are some people that get enjoyment out of kicking innocent dogs too..it takes all kinds..
What does it cost you people to spare a little sympathy and understanding....It isn't your place to tell Tootie what she should have done..or where she went wrong..unless, that is, that your own lives are so perfect..
posted on December 13, 2004 08:10:48 PM new
gtootie,
I second the comment about talking to your Priest/Pastor. Its really amazing how much help they can be.
One comment I didn't see, though, was talking to God. God will hold you together if you ask! Its truly amazing what God can do for depression and being lost. He fills up that empty spot in your heart!
posted on December 13, 2004 08:29:39 PM new
Quite awhile ago Gtootie had a link to her website or ebay store and I looked at it then and could tell that she does a good job. She has offered helpful advice here also and should feel fortunate that she has the intelligence, talent and job skills where she can make money for herself.
During the past few years I found myself, many of my friends and my relatives who have had to diversify and reach out in different directions to earn the income that they were used to for so many years. And no, it isn't easy to do.
I'm sorry if I said it the wrong way and hurt anyone's feelings, but I just think that sometimes people build up their expectations for Christmas much too high and start to focus on all the things they don't have and miss out on the reality of all the good things they do have going for them and then they feel depressed.
posted on December 14, 2004 03:40:06 AM newI am sorry too that there are some who can't find it ....
Maggie, you cant find it within if you just dont have any of it! The cubbards are just bare for some ole' mother hubbards...oh wait..your grand entrance to the RT was a blend of alice and humpty waznt it?..now I got my darn nursery rhymes all mixed up. Do you think that really bad perm did something to my brain!? lol!!(Despite how obnoxious you may get on here, I see you, maggiemay. You are way blessed in heart and can be happy.)
- Maybe a ye and dither poem is all theres to be had from a dog and his bone; ::shrug::, but happiness, like condition, is as they say; left to each his own.
- I read an odd line in a newspaper the other day and the guy said something was akin to, "beating a cripple with his own crutches." ha! (isnt that funny when we all have our own crutches?)
gtootie: Lots of people have given you some good practical ideas here. Its hard to see hope when bleak reality is staring right at you. But if you can work up the courage to go to a church, they will help you. Even something small can be miracleous enough to give you hope - and thats probably what you need more than anything. You're not gonna get that from the resident twits on this board! But what do I know? according to a feeblefeelydexedburd, I am just a resident nutcase.
--
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[ edited by neroter12 on Dec 14, 2004 03:55 AM ]
