posted on February 15, 2005 07:31:15 PM new
Just got one right now that qualifies as the best I have received. Here goes:
"i thought we resolved this. I told you the woman who ordered this and used my charge card died of cancer and you cancelled this order"
My response to her was:
"I Have no idea what you are talking about, we've never communicated. Wow, a stolen card and a death from cancer in the same transaction, that is definitely a first for me. Are you sure someone wasn't kidnapped too?"
posted on February 15, 2005 08:25:39 PM new
That's a good one - don't think I ever got anything that good - she should get some kind of reward like a Negative!!!!
posted on February 15, 2005 08:38:58 PM new
Ole Bill ran up about 3 of my auctions when I was Young and dumb on e bay,,,few $100.00's. Bill has died! please! (his wife?)I am trying desperately to contact everyone...Well I responded and NEVER heard ANYTHING back....I just let it go back then,,NOW, ya better be sending me a COPY of the DEATH certificate cause the DEAD feel no pain like the living flake surely WILL!
posted on February 15, 2005 09:16:13 PM new
Auction ends 1-3. Promises the next day to send a money order that day. 1-30 I receive this after I sent reminder:
>>Due to unforseen conditions, I have been called out of the country and will not be able to send you a check for the slippers for a while. If you can wait about 8 weeks, I will be arriving back hopefully in March. If you would like to re-sell the slippers on ebay, I understand. Please let me know your decision.
Sorry,
B.S. Aplenty
Cmdr., USAF<<
Every member of the armed forces aspires to reach the rank of Commander, but very few do, especially in the Air Force. This was from a sale on my consignment account. I replied that my client wanted me to file for FVF and gave him a little frank advice. He paid with a money order!! Tracking shows he received it today
A $75.00 solid state device will always blow first to protect a 25 cent fuse ~ Murphy's Law
posted on February 15, 2005 09:45:57 PM new
I sold a couple of pottery items a month or two ago. The man said they'd had some unexpected expenses relating to a car accident and he could pay in about 2 weeks but I could feel free to relist if I wanted to. He was nice, so I told him I'd gladly wait for his payment. He paid when promised, and I shipped the items.
Sometimes I have a good feeling about a buyer and am willing to wait. (He and his wife had bought a partial set of china in a thrift shop, loved it, and now were trying to fill in some of the serving pieces.)
___________________________________
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade
another country. --Elayne Boosler
posted on February 16, 2005 12:20:40 AM new
I'm not sure this is the best but I just got: "Hello I can't make payment as of now my account has been frozen by a pending investigation. I'm sorry for the inconvience"
Right! He bid the item up to $90 ....Oh well. Pending FVF, etc.
posted on February 16, 2005 03:45:50 AM new
I am sorry that my payment for the cups and saucers has been delayed, dut to unforseen circumstances, weather that was in the -40's, I was not able to send it out.
It was well below freezing here, but we still managed to go to the post office every day to mail out packages!
posted on February 16, 2005 07:36:21 AM new
This excuse wasn't exactly the best one I've ever had, but it's a recent one that just irked me.
This was the winner's email to me "after" the auction had already closed:
I would like to cancel my bid. I see there was another bidder interested in them. Please let her have them. I had an unforeseen expense pop up this morning so I would appreciate if you would let the other bidder have them. I am sorry!
I did offer the item as a 2nd chance offer with no response. So this was my response back to her:
I'm sorry to say that the items were offered to the additional bidder as a second chance/5 day offer and they have declined to purchase them. Therefore, it is now your responsibility to make good on your winning bid on them, otherwise I must file a NPB with eBay.
You had mentioned that you had an unforeseen expense come up and you couldn't pay for this auction; however, I've noticed that you have recently purchased other items on eBay since my auction ended that equal the total you bid on my tea bag holders. Please make good on your bid and follow through with this sale. Your total due is $51.34.
Believe it or not, I had a PayPal payment the very next day. Sometimes when you simply state the facts and try to remain professional, it does work out in your favor.
posted on February 16, 2005 08:11:05 AM new
"Sometimes when you simply state the facts and try to remain professional, it does work out in your favor. "
In other words, pay up or Im coming to your house to kick the crap outta ya-that usual works
posted on February 16, 2005 12:52:12 PM new
The passing of a love one is the #1 reason I receive from a non-paying bidder. I use to accept it until I look up their recent activities...... during these trying times they had time to bid on more items, pay for them and received positive feedback. The real slap in the face was to find out they bought items from one of my rival sellers.
posted on February 16, 2005 01:00:45 PM new
I had gotten the "I was out of town" excuse so many times that I now include a clause in my terms saying that if you're "out of town" terms still apply.....this has knocked that excuse to zero.
They usually were out of town, cut off completely from civilization with no computer, no checkbook, no Post Offices....but still bidding like crazy on ebay!
On a lighter note I haven't had any "dead grandmothers" either !
posted on February 16, 2005 01:09:55 PM new
Crowfarm, how do exactly word the "out of town" clause in your TOS? Just curious and thank you for the idea.
Jeanine
[ edited by popnrock on Feb 16, 2005 01:14 PM ]
posted on February 16, 2005 02:36:23 PM new
When I was new to selling on Ebay, about 7 years ago, I got a note from a man saying his father had died and he was trying to clean up the estate.
I read the boards and this seemed to be one of the most common excuses for nonpayment.
He wanted me to e-mail him what was purchased and amount due.
It was a small item, and being new to selling, I couldn't find the nonpaying section, decided to wait and give them a neg if he didn't pay.
Two weeks later I got a money order with a note,from the son. His father had really died, he was paying for the purchase, but told me to keep it, because they didn't need the item
He thanked me for making his fathers evening's enjoyable. Evidentally he spent hours going through everything on Ebay and bidding a few dollars on things he might like if he won.
Never bid more than $3.00 for an item and only bid on 1 item a night.
I sent the money back, after checking his bidding activity and he hadn't bid in almost a month and I periodically checked, until it became a non active account.
posted on February 16, 2005 04:03:36 PM new
I had a flake that won several items. When she didn't pay, I filed NPB. I got the "I was in the hospital" excuse, and then it changed to "I'm disabled and almost blind". This one made me laugh because she's not so blind that she can order crochet patterns! Then she tried to barter with me, and it went on and on. Filed FVF and blocked. About one month later she was NARU'd.
Another one that I got had a list of excuses. She was in the hospital, had heart surgery, her BIL died, and something else happened. Then I filed NPB. She wrote that she went on vacation and mailed it from the Bahamas but put regular stamps instead of Bahemian stamps and had to convince the postal clerks to find her letter so that she could put the on right postage. Frankly, I didn't believe her and filed FVF. About 2 weeks later, the money order came mailed from the Bahamas! AND it was mailed when she said she mailed it. I just about fell over!
posted on February 16, 2005 06:08:57 PM new
popnrock, my little blurb just says,
" If you're "out of town" terms still apply unless prior arrangements are made".
I WAS surprised that it actually worked! Some people have notified me in advance that they would truly be out of town and would respond when they got back.
But I also keep my terms as short as possible so nothing gets "lost".
posted on February 16, 2005 06:43:02 PM new
Yeah? Yeah?
Well, mister, the ONLY thing me-&-Ralphie have to say is:
"The last time we PLANTED a crow, all we got was a DEAD CROW"
"Who could have possibly envisioned an erection — an election in Iraq at this point in history?" Prez.Jim Beam, at the White House, Washington, D.C., Jan. 10, 2005
posted on February 17, 2005 02:33:27 AM new
I wouldn't be caught dead in the RT...
"Who could have possibly envisioned an erection — an election in Iraq at this point in history?" Prez.Jim Beam, at the White House, Washington, D.C., Jan. 10, 2005
posted on February 18, 2005 01:05:46 PM new
Late Paying Bidder Excuse Form
This is to aid the bidder who has now realized that it will now be impossible for them to pay.
Instructions:
Print out a copy of these excuses and just check off the one(s) that apply and fill in the blanks as indicated. Once finished, to compose your email, simply cut out the items you find are unnecessary for this seller, (remember to fill in the blanks) and send.
Always start your email with "I am new to eBay - " (this will soften your seller up as they love new bidders and understand their problems.)
Category - Mistakes - Honest Ones, Really.
Everybody makes mistakes, and sellers are basically understanding, patient people. These things happen to lots of bidders.
[__] I hit the wrong button! The same damb thing happened when I tried to vote for Al Gore, too!
[__] I mistakenly hit the Buy-It-Now button when I really only wanted to make a bid.
I never would've bid that high if I knew I was actually buying it.
[__] I never bid on your auction. Please check your records again.
[__] I mistakenly bid on your auction when I really wanted to bid on another.
[__] I entered a bid that was too much, and did not know how to lower it.
[__] I bid for somebody else, and now they don't want your item.
[__] I found another one that is cheaper, sorry.
[__] Somebody out bid me so I bid on another one. What is this stuff about retractions?
[__] I'm sorry; I just realized I already have one of those.
[__] I was in a drunk blackout when I bid, that does not count, I can't remember, does it?
[__] I thought shipping was included, I can't afford the item AND shipping.
Category - Illness and Personal Tragedy
(Please rotate family members for multiple sellers, and pets work too, sellers are great pet lovers.)
[__] My ____________ has a serious illness; I have to go take care of them.
[__] My ____________ has died; I have to go take care of the funeral.
[__] My ____________ has had a terrible accident; I have to go take care of them.
[__] I have been diagnosed with ______________ and now can't use this item.
[__] I have been diagnosed with ______________ and forgot what I won, who is this?
Category - Financial Distress
If there is anything a seller who isn't getting paid understands, it is financial distress.
[__] I got a part time job to pay for me eBay purchases, and now they fired me for being late.
[__] I lost my job and now have to wait for the unemployment to kick in.
[__] My _______________ is broken I had to fix it for $________.
[__] The IRS just audited me and I have this huge tax bill.
[__] I was heavily invested in Exite@Home and AT&T, and now I am losing my house.
Category - Fear and Panic
Everybody is up to date on recent events that would preclude any sensible person from leaving
the house much less transacting business. Give these a try.
[__] I am worried about catching Anthrax from your delivery.
[__] Your last name sounds foreign, and I won't send money to terrorists.
[__] The USPS has had problems in your area; I must keep myself safe from infection.
[__] I am worried about buying anything with the word BIN on the auction page.
Category - Computer Problems
Sellers have computers too, and they can understand the frustration caused by crashes.
[__] I had AT&T@Home working great 2 months ago, I don't know what happened.
[__] My computer was broken I had to fix it for $________, now I am broken.
[__] My email server was down for six weeks; I just got your notice.
[__] This storm took out my entire system; I have just gotten back online.
[__] My computer got stolen; I am at __________'s house letting you know you can't contact me.
Category - Illegal Access to my Account
Sellers understand the difficulty some people have with keeping a secret. They often are
known to divulge a reserve price if you ask.
[__] My _______________ got on my computer and bid when I wasn't looking, sorry.
[__] My financial info has been hacked, I am filing for bankruptcy protection, get in line.
[__] Paypal and Billpoint have canceled my account, somebody hacked my credit card.
[__] Paying for the 250 auctions I won last week and I had plenty of money in my account.
The bank must have made a mistake.
Category - Illegal Activity Suspected
Sellers would rather have a garage sale than to be suspected as criminals. These will scare the
carp out of them.
[__] Sending money overseas is against the law. You should know better.
[__] My attorney has advised me not to complete this transaction. (Do not say why, this will drive them crazy with fear.)
[__] I have found that you cannot sell that here, I don't want any trouble.
[__] I noticed where another bidder pushed this up to $3.25, I think I have been shilled.
[__] You contacted me on Sunday, which is against the law in Vermont. I won't tell if you won't.
Category - Your Fault, Not Mine
Sellers sometimes cause their own problems, show them the light!
[__] Since you won't follow my terms for completing this auction, I won't follow yours.
[__] You did not respond to my email for two days, I bid on another auction, sorry.
[__] Your TOS states you ship only to the lower 48 states, I live in Michigan, sorry.
[__] You are the one who won't ship to Australia for $2.50, not me.
[__] You were rude when you sent me a 3-day reminder so now I don't have to pay.
posted on February 18, 2005 01:33:15 PM new
crowfarm said: TomWee, don't you belong in the Round Table with the other death wishers ?
This isn't the place even if you're using another ID.
We all love Tomwiii and he's right where he belongs...with us at The eBay Outlook niche. However, I have noticed that a few of the Round Table regulars are stopping over here lately to give their 2 cents worth.
Don't leave us Tom...don't be swayed to the dark side...
What would we do without you? I mean, you DO know everything about everything don't you? You're just a book of eBay knowledge.
Okay Tom, now that you can't fit through the door because your head has grown enormous from all these nice things I've said about you.
posted on February 18, 2005 01:41:13 PM new
Here is a new one for you. Received this last week. "I am sorry that my payment for the cups and saucers has been delayed, dut to unforseen circumstances, weather that was in the 40's, I was not able to send it out"
posted on February 18, 2005 01:48:31 PM new
Amber,Shame on YOU! Double posting is Unethical and Verbotten here as you WELL know! Now go to your room and contemplate this horrible incident!
posted on February 18, 2005 02:16:36 PM new
Anyhoo...
I tink dat crow is fixated on wee-wee?
"Who could have possibly envisioned an erection — an election in Iraq at this point in history?" Prez.Jim Beam, at the White House, Washington, D.C., Jan. 10, 2005
posted on February 18, 2005 08:13:31 PM new
I like the lady who bought two items from my store and immediately emailed me to cancel her purchase~duh. I think she was just trying to see if the 'purchase now' button really does something?!
posted on February 18, 2005 08:44:34 PM new
Now THIS is where that $5.00 cancellation fee posted somewhere here would REALLY be a handy Enhancement. $10.00 to withdrawal any further action. Pay UP or pay the Price...the choice is yours,,,,however I don't believe blatantly saying that in your auction is going to WIN Friends and influence people....kind of a friendly reminder ,,,,,AFTER they SCREW UP!
