posted on June 28, 2005 06:04:31 PM new
Cheryl ... I just wanted to say for Melissa ... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE get counseling for her. Let me explain why ...
I almost lost my little girl at 4 mos. She had severe GERD, which caused so many problems, i.e., malnutrition, dehydration and FTT. Well, she was in and out of the hospital throughout her infancy. I dealt with it by myself as a single mother. (Of course, through all of this my dad got into his accident.) BUT, as a result of my not getting counseling through all of this, I now suffer panic attacks every time my daughter gets sick. It was explained to me by my daughter's child psych (who evaluated her for ADHD) that watching her go through all of the testing, needles, etc., and my burying it to handle the situation at hand, imbedded itself into my subconconscious. As a result, now everytime she gets sick, SUBCONSCIOUSLY I relieve it all and have a panic attack. I also cannot bear to hear her cry, and as a result, I am not a very good disciplinarian.
I need hypno therapy to help me through the PTSD. BUT, if I had received therapy while she was going through it, I would be ok today.
I just wanted to alert you to this. I, too, lost tons of weight when she was going through all of this. I just could not eat. I do understand what Melissa is going through.
posted on June 28, 2005 06:16:42 PM new
Wow, Diane, you really have been through such a lot. It's amazing what we, as human beings, can make it through. Hypnotherapy is great and I believe in it's power to heal not only the mind but the soul as well. Yes, I agree, Melissa will need counseling and I will urge her to get it. When I was younger, my mother had a head on collision with all of us in the car. Fortunately, none of us were hurt badly. But, ever since then I cringe if anyone driving gets too close to another care. Sort of mini panic attacks I would say. I find myself holding on to the dash or digging my feet into the floor. So yes, she will need help to get through all of this. More than her family can provide.
Let me say again, I'm really happy that your father is such a survivor! I have a great deal of respect for someone who can go through what he did and come out of it so whole. And I'm also glad that your daughter is okay. I'm really blessed to have had two healthy children. My daughter still has the cancer scare to deal with, though. She has another check-up next month to see if another pap smear comes back with abnormal cells. I couldn't stand it if she had to go through the same thing I had to go through.
posted on June 28, 2005 06:34:19 PM new
Cheryl ... Thanks for your kind words. It is so funny though (and I do mean ha-ha kind of funny), my mom buried it all as well. Well, the way it is coming back out is absolutely driving my father nuts (not to mention sleep-deprived).
Mom has trouble sleeping now. So the doctor prescribed some sleep medication to be taken every other night (which means she sleeps every other night). On the nights she sleeps, something inevitably happens. She does the kookiest things in her sleep. One night, she woke my father up because she was sitting straight up, beating on the bed and yelling "Carmine, help me!" It seems she was dreaming that she left a lit candle on the bed and the bed was on fire. Another night, my poor dad was awakened to my mother standing straight up in bed and "stomping out roaches"! LOL ... He has me laughing when he tells me! She also has beaten the crap out of him in his sleep because she thought he was an intruder. It gets so bad some nights that he goes out into the living room and sleeps on the good ole Lay-Z-Boy.
posted on June 28, 2005 06:43:55 PM new
LOL, Diane. Your poor father!! Maybe, like most long married wives, she has some built up hostility that is coming out in her sleep. LOL! Make a joke of it and ask your father just what did he do in his younger years to make your mother so mad. Right after my grandmother had a stroke she started throwing things at my grandfather that she was married to for almost 60 years (dishes, etc.) and for no apparent reason (part of the problems from her stroke). So we used to kid with him and tell him that she's finally gotten up enough courage to give him his over due medicine. That always got a laugh!
posted on June 28, 2005 07:15:53 PM new
BizzyDiane...I'm not trying to be a smart mouth here..although I realize my reputation precedes me.. but seriously, those episodes you tell about how your Mom reacts on the nights she takes her sleeping meds..bring back some very clear memories of some pretty bad episodes of paranoia induced hashish smoking!
I'd check her meds if I were you! Maggie
posted on June 28, 2005 07:19:03 PM new
Actually, Maggie, she would have them when she would doze off and not take her sleeping meds. The doc prescribed the meds to put her into a deeper sleep because she was sleeping too lightly and would wake up if dad would so much as move his leg. She was literally a walking zombie because she was so sleep-deprived.
posted on June 28, 2005 07:35:13 PM new
Your poor Daddy, he'll have to learn to sleep with one eye open! Anyway, after the age of 65 all men sleep in the arms of their recliners,don't they?
posted on June 30, 2005 11:02:24 AM new
OMG! I have been away from the boards for a couple of months as I had surgery on my shoulder and then on my wrist for "torn things" and am just now catching up on the threads.
Cheryl, we will keep Ryan, Melissa and your whole family in our prayers. My 29 year old son had major surgery when he was 2 weeks old and I can remember how exhausted I was and how grateful I was for the emotional and monetary help that family and friends gave me. I have donated to Ryan's fund using Paypal, wish it could be more but being on Worker's comp...
Diane, your father must be frustrated by all of the outbursts. Some medications have reactions that can last for days even after they are stopped so I'm with Maggie in saying that the doctor needs to know of this behavior and if he/she does nothing, then a second opinion may be in order.
posted on June 30, 2005 05:06:17 PM new
I am so angry and upset right now I don't know who to scream at. Ryan has been throwing up and the doctor's are concerned. There are continuing problems with his liver and the chemo isn't doing what it's supposed to. They did another ultrasound and an echogram that showed nothing. Tomorrow they will take marrow for testing and do an MRI and liver biopsy. There could be permanent liver damage. Why, you ask? Because it would appear the hospital may have done one of two things. They either gave him the wrong blood type during his transfusion or gave him bad blood. This caused blood poisoning, which caused liver problems. That's what I'm angry about. I know that sometimes bad blood gets through the testing undetected. But, for this to happen to someone so young and so innocent and so sick just makes me ill.
Thank you everyone for your donations and prayers and words of encouragement. A fellow eBay seller is sending me a box of clothing for Candace. The other two children really miss their mother and brother. They feel left out right now. This kind offer will certainly thrill Candace!
Edited to fix grammar. Never type when you're very angry.
Cheryl
[ edited by CBlev65252 on Jun 30, 2005 05:18 PM ]
posted on June 30, 2005 05:16:15 PM new
Cheryl -- just saw this thread and offered a prayer for Ryan and his family. Find comfort with God.
------ "Bend over backward for the customer. Don't bend forward."
posted on June 30, 2005 05:54:07 PM new
Hi Cheryl. I'm sorry to hear about the blood poisoning and I know how ya feel being angry if that was a huge mistake on their part! I just want to tell you, though, try not to get too pizzed off at them or verbally abusive about it because his care is in their hands.. and if ya alienate them too much then they really wont give a sh*...you know what I mean? Don't most people (dont know about kids) throw-up from the chemo, I mean, isnt that a side effect of it? Anyway, I dont have any money I can donate right now, but what size are the kids? I have some kids clothes I was going to sell but I probably wont ever even get around to it. (Some are Nordstroms and other high end label brands)I also have some dolls bears and stuffed animals I could send - that might cheer them up?
According to the docs, he should not be throwing up. I guess it depends upon the type of chemo or where it's going. His chemo is going into the marrow in the bones as far as I know. I thought the same thing about throwing up, but the docs say he shouldn't be. I wouldn't think of saying anything to the nurses or docs. They are otherwise doing a wonderful job and seem to be on top of it. I come here to vent.
Candace wears a 6 or a 7, Nick a 3T or 4 and I'm not sure about Ryan. He's gotten heavier from the steroids and other drugs they're giving him.
Your kind words and prayers are just as valuable, if not more, than a monetary donation.
Cheryl
[ edited by CBlev65252 on Jun 30, 2005 06:34 PM ]
posted on June 30, 2005 06:49:57 PM new
Cheryl - try those phone numbers I gave you. It might be time for a little *extra* help....and it might bring you a little piece of mind also. Feel free to pass them along to Ryan's mom also.
posted on June 30, 2005 07:11:33 PM new
When my Dad had Leukemia they would give him some sort of pills for ten days at the beginning of the month. He would throw up for ten days. One reason I had them stop all medication before he died so at least he could eat.It must do something to the liver,his stomach swelled at the end.
**********************************
Two men sit behind bars,one sees mud the other sees stars.
posted on June 30, 2005 08:12:21 PM new
Hey Cheryl, ok, good about the clothes...what I have is some 4t's boys (one is a really cute - healthtex, I think - it's a sturdy cotton tee that says 'Surfer Dude' with a surf board on it.....well, I thought it was cute for summer, anyway. I'll check your website for the address to send them out.
And I know you are venting, Cheryl. I just didnt want ya to go to the hospital with an big attitude cause I've done that and looking back now,.. it really didnt help anything for the sick person lieing there. But I also dont think you dont have to 'not say anything' either, though. I think if you can say it like, I'm very concerned about this and I'd like to know what happened and what the future prognosis of such n such..., I think you get better responses and more attentiveness for Ryan from them.
I know its hard to do when youre feeling angry and frustrated when things are going wrong, and you just feel helpless to do anything!! I thought I'd just try to kind of gently remind ya so when ya go back there you dont automatically get flippant cause youre tired, or feeling upset with everything. I know Cheryl, I've been there. Sometimes it just helps to hear somebody say, its gonna be alright - take it day by day, and you know,,,cry if ya need to, but dont get so upset and angry you lose your faith for it to turn out good.
Maggie
