pharlap
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posted on March 10, 2001 08:06:18 PM
Here I be!!!! 
It's only just after 2.00pm Sunday here...
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enchanted
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posted on March 10, 2001 08:10:17 PM
Hi pharlap, how've you been? any new jokes?
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mouseslayer
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posted on March 10, 2001 08:10:23 PM
Well looky there, one of our crazy Aussies has checked in  Hiya Pharlap, how are you? Keeping dry?
~^~  Born again flower child  ~^~
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pharlap
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posted on March 10, 2001 08:13:23 PM
Hey Enchanted & Mouse!!!
Yes - I'm keeping dry - but only because I'm stuck at work... Looking out the window though it looks like its clearing up a bit.
I have heaps of jokes but I don't want to get us locked up already Maybe I can find some clean ones..... Nah!!!
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mouseslayer
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posted on March 10, 2001 08:17:15 PM
LOL, you're silly Pharlap!
Oh, before I forget, can you get avocados easily down there?
~^~ Born again flower child ~^~
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zilvy
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posted on March 10, 2001 08:18:29 PM
Oh tell me you haven't all left already,
I've been soooo lonesome today. DH went to
work after a week of being sick, I've been
all alone and no energy to do anything pro-
ductive and nobody to play with....whine,
whine, whine....OK where's the cheese to
go with this wine??
How is everybody doin?? Time to partay!! Let's get down and
beat the winter blues here in the US and
floods in Australia!!
[ edited by zilvy on Mar 11, 2001 09:15 PM ]
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pharlap
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posted on March 10, 2001 08:20:40 PM
ROTFLMAO!!!!!
Good Lord Mouse!!! Yes we can - please don't tell me you were thinking of posting some to me
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pharlap
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posted on March 10, 2001 08:22:22 PM
Zilvy - did you say cheese & wine??? Yes please!!!
I'll have a glass of riesling and crackers with camembert & strawberry on top. Yummmmm.....
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mouseslayer
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posted on March 10, 2001 08:22:58 PM
Nope, but something that you need them to make!
~^~ Born again flower child ~^~
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zilvy
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posted on March 10, 2001 08:26:22 PM
Riesling....is that a dry fruity German Wine?
I am so unsophisticated re: wine. Oh well,
I think you'll have to put up with
Thunderbird freshly stomped grapes...but I
do have Strawberries and Camambert!
I like rum and fruit drinks best!! Gotta keep
up on the Vitamin C.
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pharlap
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posted on March 10, 2001 08:27:17 PM
Mouse - Phew!!! I thought as much. I just had this funny mental picture of opening up a package with avocadoes in it after doing time in the mail system!!!
Ok I found something clean but still funny (I'm not sure if I've posted this before - it seems familiar...):
Here are some real, absolutely true, label instructions on consumer goods.
* On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."
* On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
* On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
* Some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost."
* On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box: "Fits one head."
* On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: "Do not turn upside down" (printed on bottom of the box).
* On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
* On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
* On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive car or operate machinery."
* On Nytol (a sleep aid): "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
* On a Korean kitchen knife: "Warning: Keep out of children."
* On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
* On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (???)
* On Salnsbury's Peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts."
* On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
* On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."
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pharlap
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posted on March 10, 2001 08:29:38 PM
Zilvy - Riesling is usually sweeter which is why I like it. Chardonnay is too dry/oaky for me which I can't stand - unless it's unwooded.
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mouseslayer
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posted on March 10, 2001 08:33:19 PM
Ok, more questions Pharlap...Do you have Rice-A-Roni there? How about Mexican food??
I'd seen that list before, too funny! Ya think some things got lost in translation???
Yuck, I don't like wine But what is Camambert?
~^~ Born again flower child ~^~
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zilvy
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posted on March 10, 2001 08:33:48 PM
Very good madam, we shall see if we can
find a good bottle, perhaps one that is at
least 20 minutes old!! In the meantime for
your reading pleasure...the following!On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed
away, Jenny went straight round to visit her grandmother.
When she asked how her grandpa had died, her grandma
explained, "He had a heart attack during sex on Sunday
morning?"
Horrified, Jenny suggested that shagging at the
age of 94 was surely asking for trouble. "Oh no," her
grandma replied, "we had sex every Sunday morning,
in time with the church bells --
in with the dings and out with the dongs.
" She paused, and wiped away a tear. "If it wasn't for that
ice cream van going past, he'd still be alive."
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enchanted
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posted on March 10, 2001 08:36:01 PM
pass me the Brie and Ritz crackers please ...
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pharlap
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posted on March 10, 2001 08:36:53 PM
LOL Zilvy!!! Great joke
Don't worry about the vintage stuff - cask will do!!! (classy 'aint I )
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zilvy
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posted on March 10, 2001 08:37:14 PM
Has anyone heard from Nettak or Rocker...
maybe email or something.. I hope they are
ok!enchanted want me to give 30
seconds in the micro to make it all good &
runny?? I love Ritz crakers...old habits die
hard.
[ edited by zilvy on Mar 10, 2001 08:39 PM ]
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pharlap
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posted on March 10, 2001 08:39:50 PM
Mouse - camembert is a cheese similar to brie but a bit firmer.
I've not heard of Rice-A-Roni. Sounds like a combination of rice and macaroni???
We have something called Rice-A-Riso (sp?) which is kind of like a just add boiling water rice meal thingy... Could be similar?
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mouseslayer
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posted on March 10, 2001 08:43:57 PM
Too funny Zilvy!  I haven't heard a word from Rocker or Netta, I hope things are ok!!
Pharlap, I think you're classy no matter what wine you drink Rice-A-Roni is rice and pasta with seasonings. Good stuff
~^~ Born again flower child ~^~
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pharlap
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posted on March 10, 2001 08:46:57 PM
Rice & pasta together? Sounds interesting
I'm really worried about Nettak now as well. And where IS Rocker???
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therpowen
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posted on March 10, 2001 08:52:01 PM
I am also worried about nettak and rocker.  It is rare that either one of them go so long without at least stopping in to say hello. Does anyone have their email so they can check?
therp
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zilvy
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posted on March 10, 2001 08:54:11 PM
Emelda-mouse layerit's up to you to
carry on the tradition of kissing kitties
on the lips in the absence of Rocker and
one of you gals has to play vampire if we
are gonna keep this party going.
Ooops i just noticed the separation on your
name mouse...do you want to explain that...
I don't know how it happened but I will
leave it that way!!
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mouseslayer
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posted on March 10, 2001 08:58:26 PM
I've sent an email to Rocker. I don't have Netta's email though
I will happily carry on the kitty kissing. I nominate Pharlap to be the vampire
~^~ Born again flower child ~^~
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pharlap
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posted on March 10, 2001 09:01:29 PM
I'll pass thanks!!!
You can't have a vampire horse - it just wouldn't be right
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zilvy
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posted on March 10, 2001 09:03:59 PM
Oh ok, ok, I'll to the vampire schtick!
Phlebotamy is my hobby...eeyeeeww!!
Rocker We need you!!
[ edited by zilvy on Mar 10, 2001 09:05 PM ]
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pharlap
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posted on March 10, 2001 09:05:53 PM
Can you imagine the shock and horror when Rocker returns and sees that she's been replaced???
Edited to add - Hi to Therp!!!
[ edited by pharlap on Mar 10, 2001 09:06 PM ]
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zilvy
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posted on March 10, 2001 09:07:55 PM
Well I hope she remembers: Before you get
angry at someone, walk a mile in their shoes,
That way they will be a mile away and
barefoot...that avoids all kinds of
concternation!!
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pharlap
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posted on March 10, 2001 09:15:02 PM
LOL!!! You're on fire tonight
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zilvy
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posted on March 10, 2001 09:17:25 PM
Ahhh yes my little chickadee but only for
a while  I've taken an Alkaseltzer and will
soon cool down!!If only I could speel..
[ edited by zilvy on Mar 10, 2001 09:18 PM ]
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pharlap
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posted on March 10, 2001 09:21:34 PM
What's an Alkathingy???
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