pharlap
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posted on March 14, 2001 01:47:07 AM
Hey Bob 
I have a joke for you..
A man was driving along the highway and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit.
The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful that he began to cry.
A blonde woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.
"I feel terrible," he explained. "I hit this rabbit and killed it."
The blonde told the man not to worry. She knew what to do.
She went to her car trunk and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the rabbit. Miraculously, the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved its paw at the two people and hopped down the road.
Ten feet away the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved at the two people again, hopped down the road another 10 feet, turned, waved, and hopped another 10 feet, turned and waved and repeated this again and again until it was out of sight.
The man was astonished. He couldn't figure out what substance could be in the woman's spray can! He ran over to the woman and demanded, "What was in your spray can? What did you spray onto that rabbit?"
The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label.
It said:
Are you ready for this?
"Hair Spray - Restores Life to Dead Hair. Adds Permanent Wave."
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nettak
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posted on March 14, 2001 01:48:07 AM
Hi gang, I have some questions for the over 35s to answer. My daughter has an assignment for her Early Childhood Training and has to have the oldies answer these questions: How old were you when:
1) You first walked
2) You first talked
3) You were toilet trained
4) You were able to ride a 2 wheeler bike
5) you noticed your first wrinkle
6) You first noticed your first grey hair
My answers were:
1) I was too young to remember
2) I was born talking
3) As soon as I could walk to the dunny
4) We were too poor to afford a bike so I didn't learn to ride
5) 37
6) As long as I have a bottle of dye, I will never notice them.
Okay now I am depending on your answers to help my girl out with her assignment.
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pharlap
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posted on March 14, 2001 01:52:54 AM
You have to be over 35???
I could answer all of the questions (even the first grey hair one) except the wrinkle one...
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nettak
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posted on March 14, 2001 01:58:50 AM
Hi Pharlap, well it does say over 35 years, but go ahead we will make an exception in your case. LOL  They will never know.
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pharlap
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posted on March 14, 2001 02:09:09 AM
OK then...
1) First walked - 16 months (overly cautious!)
2) First talked - about 12 months???
3) Toilet trained - 2 years
4) 2 wheeled bike - 8 years (my brothers MADE me my first bike with spare parts! My parents couldn't afford one either)
5) First wrinkle - not happened..... yet.
6) First grey hair - 14 years old (it's genetic  My dad was fully grey by 20)
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nettak
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posted on March 14, 2001 02:16:36 AM
You know Pharlap, I went to school with a girl that had a full head of grey hair by the time we hit year 9. She also had buck teeth and braces and we were not so nice to her (not that she ever noticed how nasty we were). I am very ashamed of myself now, because if she had not thought we were joking with her, we could have caused some dreadful damage to her ego.
Anyway I say get that bottle of dye and colour those greys away.
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zilvy
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posted on March 14, 2001 02:21:26 AM
[ edited by zilvy on Mar 14, 2001 08:05 AM ]
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tigerlady
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posted on March 14, 2001 02:24:57 AM
LOL Pharlap! Kinda' like that scene in "Dogma" where Silent Bob sprays the golgothan with air freshener. Everyone's confused until he shows them the can - "knocks strong odors out". *LOL* I love that movie!
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zilvy
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posted on March 14, 2001 02:25:12 AM
Pharlap, ROFLMAOHair spray, permanent wave?? Well I think our two jokes, Lab Work , Cat Scan & (Hare)spray have set back Animal Rights a 100 years....funny!!
Does Phar Lap really mean lightening in Thai?
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pharlap
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posted on March 14, 2001 02:27:02 AM
Nettak - don't quite need that bottle just yet. Whenever I see a new grey hair (I find a few more each week) I just yank them out! I have a thick head of hair so I can afford to lose a few
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nettak
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posted on March 14, 2001 02:29:38 AM
Hi Zilvy, it was funny to read what you said about not knowing you were poor.
My grandma used to make us dresses we called Moo Moos, she made them out of tea towels or I think you call them dish cloths. They are the things you wipe your dishes with. Of course she only used new ones.
I am from such a large family, but we didn't ever go without, well at least not the things we needed. We always had what we needed for school and medical ect., we just did not always get the special things we wanted. But we didn't ever think we were poor.
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tigerlady
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posted on March 14, 2001 02:29:46 AM
Oh, and Pharlap - no we couldn't find any pics of her in her outfit. If she had any she got rid of them a long time ago. Sigh, oh well! I would've liked to see that!
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pharlap
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posted on March 14, 2001 02:32:24 AM
Hi Tiger & Zilvy! We must have all been posting at the same time...
Zilvy - phonetically (sp? )Phar Lap is Thai/Siamese for lightning but I'm not sure if that is the actual spelling.
Want to hear something spooky? - last year (or maybe the year before) the horse who played Phar Lap in the 80's movie was killed by a bolt of lightning while in a paddock....
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mouseslayer
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posted on March 14, 2001 02:34:29 AM
Ok, picture this. The computer I've been using is on the dining room table (aka DH's desk, LOL). The table is right in front of a window...If I didn't think it would hurt my back more, and I'm too poor to replace the window, I'd throw it out that dang window!!!
Ok, now that I have that off my chest...
Tigerlady, we have skeletons in our closets too. Imagaine this, on my 17th birthday my mom took me to lunch. During lunch she tells me I have a half brother out there somewhere. It seems her ex-fiance raped her when they broke up and got her pregnant. Back in those days, they sent the daughters 'away' to have the baby. Now she has made me swear not to tell my full brother nor look for the half brother until she dies. Needless to say I about choked!
Even worse, my grandfather informs my dad he has a half brother too from a marraige he knew nothing about. My dad was about 60 when he found this out and grandfather was dying. Whoa! The Playboy bunny thing I'd almost be proud of!
Hiya Big Bob! Meditating huh? Just blow my ego why don't ya! LOL
Netta, I'm not over 35 yet, but I think I can answer them too  I'd have to ask Mom some of them, when does daughter need it by?
I can answer the gray hair one, exactly 2 weeks before I turned 21 I screamed! LOL And boy do I need to dye it before I go back to work! I seem to have inherited more with all these back problems *sigh*
First wrinkle: I'd say about 29 or so, a little laugh wrinkle around the eye.
Ride a bike: 6 or 7 on my cousin's old bike. We couldn't afford one either (do I sense a trend here? )
Ok, I'm gonna post this before I can't!
~^~  Hippy wannabe  ~^~
[ edited by mouseslayer on Mar 14, 2001 02:35 AM ]
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nettak
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posted on March 14, 2001 02:34:37 AM
Pharlap, Ouch. That hurts when you pull a hair out. What colour hair do you have??
If it is black, try using a colouring pen, you can buy them at Price Attach and that would be easier than yanking them out.
Tigerlady Hi, I would be great if you ever found a picture of your mother in her costume. The thought of my mum in a bunny girl cossie sends me in fits of laughter. 
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tigerlady
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posted on March 14, 2001 02:35:34 AM
Also Netta... I'm not QUITE 35 yet - 4 more years to go! I don't remember when the first 4 happened, and the last 2 haven't happened yet, so I wouldn't be any help anyway. 
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pharlap
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posted on March 14, 2001 02:39:11 AM
Nettak - No... I'm a brunette.
It doesn't hurt that much - I'm used to it by now
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nettak
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posted on March 14, 2001 02:44:59 AM
Oh well I have to do some real work for a change. I have to do quote that I really should have finished and faxed off by now.
I will check in with you all later, when I have finished my work. See you all later.
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tigerlady
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posted on March 14, 2001 02:49:32 AM
Hi Mousie! Oh, I know what you mean about skeletons. After my Mom found out about her cancer she informed my oldest sister that she had a different dad - so she's really my half-sis. My dad adopted her when he and my mom got married. Makes me kinda' wonder, too - cause my sister was born not too long after mom got back from her bunny stint. We also found out that her dad made advances on her when she was younger. (my ma) I KNEW he walked out on her and my grandma while she was still young, but I didn't know that. I understand now why my grandma always hated men. (except my hubby - before she passed she grabbed my arm and told me to hang on to him - he was a good man. She really liked him!)
Oh and talking about being poor - the only "new" clothes I ever had were one's my grandma made for me - it really sucked having 2 bigger sisters! It wasn't until high school that mom broke down and bought me some new stuff! Of course by then, she had a job and we were doing better financially.
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zilvy
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posted on March 14, 2001 02:51:08 AM
Back in the 30's when she was in her mid to late teens my mom worked for the Powers Modeling Agency and posed for Coca-cola, Hires Root Beer and a cigarette ad. I have black & white photo's of Mother, Grandmother and my Dad posing with the posters that they collected from local merchants...Dad had over 12 of them. I know have 3. One we have framed and we "hung" Mom. She had the loveliest features, high cheekbones etc.
I got a real kick out of a cousin whom I hadn't seen in 30 years who came to visit, she was a camera buff and was taking pictures of everyone and everything here in the east. A couple of years later I went to Texas to visit her and the only photo on display of her trip east was of my mother's Coca-Cola ad.
[ edited by zilvy on Mar 14, 2001 03:00 AM ]
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bitsandbobs
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posted on March 14, 2001 02:53:48 AM
nettak
1) You first walked
2) You first talked
3) You were toilet trained
4) You were able to ride a 2 wheeler bike
5) you noticed your first wrinkle
6) You first noticed your first grey hair
1) I was lazy. Why walk when you've got a pusher.
2) 27. When I got my first CB Radio.
3) I've never trained a toilet.
4) Go back to question 1.
5) 2 days. First time I saw my granny.
6) My eyes both face forward. They cant see the top of my head.
Bob, Downunder but never down.
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mouseslayer
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posted on March 14, 2001 02:54:35 AM
Oh my goodness, I forgot to say our new motherboard is sitting next to me!  Now we just need the cpu and memory and I should be rock and rolling again soon
Pharlap, that is spooky about the horse!  Oh, and I pluck my grays too. But only the shorter ones that always want to stick straight up!
~^~ Hippy wannabe ~^~
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pharlap
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posted on March 14, 2001 02:58:02 AM
Wow - you guys have such interesting rellies!!! We don't have any skeletons in our family's closet.... unless they're hidden way in the back
Come to think of it there most probably would be some skeletons somewhere - just no one's told about them yet...
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zilvy
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posted on March 14, 2001 03:03:27 AM
Pharlap that is probably very true, every family has some little secret, it usually takes some traumatic happening before it comes to light. Finding out you have a brother or sister must really be a shock.
Well, I woke up at 4 am it is now 6 am and I think I will go rejoin DH & Tigger for another couple of hours before our day starts in ernest. Have a G'day and play you are on Holiday!!
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mouseslayer
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posted on March 14, 2001 03:10:18 AM
Well, us Americans like to be wild and crazy, we just don't like to admit it later Much less talk about it! Oh no, we're too proper, LOL!
Nighters Zilvy, see ya later gator!
~^~ Hippy wannabe ~^~
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pharlap
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posted on March 14, 2001 03:13:22 AM
Night Zilvy & Nettak....
Zilvy - it's not really a holiday - more like my weekend. I squeeze five days worth of work into four so I have three days off (usually together) every week.
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pharlap
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posted on March 14, 2001 03:20:17 AM
Sorry Mouse - I don't think I said hello to you before so - Hello!!!
(don't want you to think I'm ignoring you!)
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bitsandbobs
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posted on March 14, 2001 03:20:21 AM
'night pharlap!
Hi mouse.
A chap was walking past a big city building site one day which was shut off from public view by those great big boards they put up.
He couldn't see a thing but could hear this repetitive chanting, "22" "22" "22".
This really aroused his curiosity and eventually he found a small hole in the boards which he was able to put his eye up to and see what was going on.
Suddenly a finger shot through the hole and poked him in the eye.
Through the pain he realised that the chanting had changed.
"23" "23" "23".
Bob, Downunder but never down.
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pharlap
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posted on March 14, 2001 03:23:35 AM
Bob - you trying to get rid of me?
I'll be around for a while yet - I was just saying goodnight to Zilvy & Nettak...
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bitsandbobs
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posted on March 14, 2001 03:29:13 AM
pharlap
Whoops! I got that bit wrong didn't I?
Bob, Downunder but never down.
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