jlpiece
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posted on May 4, 2001 09:22:11 AM new
This is the story of the Ant and The grasshopper. Not sure where it comes from, but credit is given to whoever deserves it.
The Original Version...
The ant busts his ass in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
The New Liberal Version...
It starts out the same, but when winter comes the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC, ABC & CNN show up and show pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to film of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be, in a country of such wealth that this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Then a representative of the NAAGB(The National Association of Green Bugs) shows up on Nightline and charges the ant with "Green Bias" and makes the case that the grasshopper is the victim of 30 million years of greenism. Kermit the frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when he sings, "It's not easy being green."
Bill and Hillary Clinton make a special guest appearance on the CBS evening news and tell a concerned Dan Rather that they will do everything they can for the grasshopper who has been denied the prosperity he deserves by those who benefitted unfairly during the summer, or as Bill refers to it, "The temperatures of the 80's."
Finally the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Greenism Act" RETROACTIVE to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he's in... which just happens to be the ant's old house...crumbles around him since he doesn't know how to maintain it. The ant has dissappeared in the snow. And on TV; which the grasshopper bought by selling most of the ants food, Bill Clinton is standing before a wildly applauding group of Democrats announcing that a new era of "Fairness" has dawned in America.
THE END
Food for thought.
[ edited by jlpiece on May 4, 2001 09:24 AM ]
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sNOWyegret
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posted on May 4, 2001 12:29:30 PM new
And the lone ant joined the Army of Fire Ants, and was killed in the Battle of Diazinon.
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krs
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posted on May 4, 2001 12:43:37 PM new
No, the poor ant just lost his job because of the severe economic downswing resulting from republican policy and predictions.
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zilvy
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posted on May 4, 2001 12:53:54 PM new
Not true, lies, all lies, he was eaten by a member of Kucha and that member went on to look for the remains of wrappers from timtams in another persons knapsack. See how Henry Vlll plays right into that scenario?
[ edited by zilvy on May 4, 2001 12:54 PM ]
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sNOWyegreT
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posted on May 4, 2001 01:03:41 PM new
And the Diazinon mixed with GMOs in the cornfield. The corn was harvested and made into chicken feed.
Soon, disturbing stories began to circulate. Remote chicken ranches were being found empty, but there were always giant chicken tracks found. 
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zilvy
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posted on May 4, 2001 01:04:52 PM new
Now you wouldn't call this a set up or anything like that would you Snowy wan kanobi?
[ edited by zilvy on May 4, 2001 01:05 PM ]
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sNOWyegreT
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posted on May 4, 2001 01:08:57 PM new
Would I do that?
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jamesoblivion
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posted on May 4, 2001 01:17:51 PM new
Th next Ęsop.
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krs
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posted on May 4, 2001 01:31:27 PM new
Grimm, isn't it?
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sNOWyegreT
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posted on May 4, 2001 01:38:26 PM new
Brother....
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zilvy
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posted on May 4, 2001 01:44:51 PM new
can ya spare I dime....I'm makin tracks outta here.
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jlpiece
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posted on May 4, 2001 06:45:16 PM new
You have learned much grasshopper...
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HJw
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posted on May 4, 2001 09:15:08 PM new
Now,It's time for a Holy War. I'm going to bed and dream about this.
Helen
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HEPburn
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posted on May 4, 2001 09:22:12 PM new
Where's the Raid?
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stockticker
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posted on May 4, 2001 09:29:52 PM new
I can always tell
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HJw
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posted on May 5, 2001 05:54:27 AM new
I wake up find that my poor soldiers have arrived to begin the Holy War between the grasshoppers and the ants.
My poor poor babies, limited in arms and thought but at least standing before me with warm bodies. One is armed only with a can of
raid and the other with astrological nonsense. But stand tall! We can move beyond this sad state of affairs!
I just read in the quote thread,
"Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much." (Oscar Wilde )
I do love you guys so much. Stockticker and
Hepburn; you poor, poor babies are forgiven. Every disgusting thought, every feeble attempt to annoy me, every failed effort to unite hatred against me is
all forgiven.
Now, get back on your horse and go forth in
battle, with at least the knowledge that you are forgiven.
Helen
Edited to point out the serious nature of my
intent. This is a serious apology of the type
that Oscar Wilde suggested.
[ edited by HJw on May 5, 2001 07:29 AM ]
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zilvy
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posted on May 5, 2001 06:40:04 AM new
A legend in her own mind!!
See whatselfmedication can do??
[ edited by zilvy on May 5, 2001 07:01 AM ]
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enCHAnTed
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posted on May 5, 2001 06:55:47 AM new
Hi Helen, I'm guessing you're joking, it's early in the morning, so venturing a guess here. There was no  to guide me, so had to blurt out my question.
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HJw
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posted on May 5, 2001 07:09:00 AM new
enCHAnTed
Serious?
Helen
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HJw
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posted on May 5, 2001 07:14:18 AM new
Zilvy,
I am cold sober. It's only 10 am in the east.
Why not ask Hepburn, one on my most unfortunate soldiers that question. How does she plan to battle with only a can of Raid?
Let us set up a triage so that the more seriously demented soldiers can be taken care
of first.
Next of course is Irene.
Helen
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zilvy
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posted on May 5, 2001 07:15:07 AM new
Took all her smilies and went home
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MuRiEl
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posted on May 5, 2001 07:23:30 AM new
The Ant, the Grasshopper, and the Crabs...
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Bunnicula
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posted on May 5, 2001 07:24:54 AM new
Muriel has crabs!
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zilvy
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posted on May 5, 2001 07:25:59 AM new
Muriel, Muriel! There are way too many crabs already...what is this an invasion? Well, at least yours are jolly they are playing "leap crab."
Baaad Bunni
[ edited by zilvy on May 5, 2001 07:27 AM ]
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MuRiEl
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posted on May 5, 2001 07:31:06 AM new
Bunni - DO NOT!!!! Wanna make something of it?? (tee hee -- er, pee pee)
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SNowYegReT
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posted on May 5, 2001 07:36:25 AM new
LOL.
Bunnicula, is that what you learn in the Den of Iniquity (aka the library)?
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HJw
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posted on May 5, 2001 07:38:44 AM new
mith Muriel,
thorry but you are not lithening!
We were almoth ready for war!
,,,,,
Now, I have to go out for a couple of hours but I have some advice
to leave with you. You may want to write it down.
Courtesy is breeding.
Breeding is an excellent thing.
Always remember that!
Helen
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Bunnicula
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posted on May 5, 2001 07:51:08 AM new
No, no, SnowyEgret! It's a cesspool, not a den of iniquity!
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zilvy
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posted on May 5, 2001 07:55:43 AM new
There will be no Breeding of ants and grasshoppers! by order of the Genetic Society of AW.
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Bunnicula
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posted on May 5, 2001 07:58:54 AM new
But can we still drink Grasshoppers?
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