jerry12
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posted on September 21, 2000 09:19:32 PM
I had been waiting months for a green turtle lamp to come up on Ebay. I am not talking about any green turtle lamp; this one was anatomically correct. Most cheap imitations are not made with such attention to detail.
Needless to say, I was quite thrilled at the prospect of finally landing this lamp, as I had missed an opportunity last year when another bidder sniped me in the final seconds.
Unfortunately, due to my work schedule, I couldn't be there for the end of this auction, so I enlisted the help of "e-snipe", that online last-second bidding website. And, in an effort to ensure that I didn't screw up and miss this opportunity, I programmed e-snipe to make my bid 250 separate times, thinking that at least one bid is BOUND to make it through no matter how slow e-snipe or Ebay is that day. Plus, only the highest bid from a user counts, so no matter how many other bids you make, you can't raise the price on yourself.
Well, the auction ended without incident, and e-snipe had no glitches.
The problem:
I discovered that I was the high bidder, which made me happy, and I was also the ONLY bidder, which meant the price stayed at the opening bid of $59.00. But I also discovered that this was a dutch auction and 500 of these lamps were being sold! In my excitement over the auction I hadn't even noticed this!
I have no use for 250 green turtle lamps, anatomically correct or otherwise, so what can I do? I have contemplated telling the seller, but I'd hate at this point to break the news to him, since he so excitedly told me that he can now afford to get that 6th toe removed from his right foot.
Any suggestions would be welcomed.
[ edited by jerry12 on Sep 21, 2000 09:25 PM ]
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kathyg
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posted on September 21, 2000 09:23:45 PM
Will he trade the toe for at least one of the lamps? This would solve at least part of your problem.
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noteye
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posted on September 21, 2000 09:23:59 PM
My suggestion ..
Get a Life.
noteye
Well, THAT'S attractive!
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Glenda
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posted on September 21, 2000 09:24:58 PM
While I'm sure people will be delighted to see you have returned, jerry12, your premise is flawed: unless you have 250 different accounts and programmed e-snipe to place one bid on each account, you will only get 1 anatomically correct turtle lamp.
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jerry12
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posted on September 21, 2000 09:27:23 PM
Not true, Glenda, in a ductch auction e-snipe apparently will bid as effectively as you or I would first hand. E-snipe CAN do multriple bids on the same item. Trust me, I REALLY know now.
[ edited by jerry12 on Sep 21, 2000 09:28 PM ]
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amalgamated2000
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posted on September 21, 2000 09:29:42 PM
Just take the 249 negs and move on...
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KatyD
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posted on September 21, 2000 09:31:28 PM
Contact your lawyer. 
KatyD
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amy
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posted on September 21, 2000 09:59:03 PM
open a Green Turtle Resturant and put one lamp on each table.
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ksterni
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posted on September 21, 2000 10:02:11 PM
Send one to the Titanic video seller in retaliation of the nasty "bonus" they sent you..... They deserve it!
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mzalez
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posted on September 21, 2000 10:32:15 PM
Yeah a turtle restaurant! I would go.
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uaru
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posted on September 21, 2000 11:05:20 PM
Paint masks on the ones you don't want and sell them to the kids as Teenage Ninja Turtle nightlites.
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mcjane
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posted on September 21, 2000 11:15:34 PM
Welcome back, this M.C. can get heavy at times
and you certainly "lightened" it up with your turtle lamps.
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Capriole
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posted on September 21, 2000 11:16:54 PM
Line the path to your troll house.
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jerry12
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posted on September 21, 2000 11:24:40 PM
Capriole:
Why are you being so rude to me when, during a very difficult time, I am only seeking the good advice and guidance of my fellow AW users?
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macandjan
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posted on September 22, 2000 02:17:32 AM
I am sure probater can help you.
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sideslam
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posted on September 22, 2000 06:39:52 AM
Jerry12,Some people can't take a joke. Most people like you and are willing to help with all the problems you encounter.Perhaps you should educate your self more on how the auctions work.
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cherbear
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posted on September 22, 2000 06:40:59 AM
Hi,
I am so sorry, but I am unable to find your auction or any auction which has a 59.00 price tag on a turtle lamp.
I found a 59.99 and a 49.99 and a few inbetween, but those had no bids on them.
I believe your statement is false, and you are just a person who wants to make people believe you actually had this happen to you.
If I am wrong please give us the auction number.
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macandjan
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posted on September 22, 2000 06:49:37 AM
cherbear - It is called a troll - but not one of the better ones.
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cherbear
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posted on September 22, 2000 07:15:03 AM
macandjan,
Thank you I was going to call them one, but being new again on here, I figured I would hold my tounge and hold back this image, but, being I know now, Look I found his picture
http://pongopix.com/upload/cherbear/Hooner.jpg
Cherbear
[ edited by cherbear on Sep 22, 2000 07:17 AM ]
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Meya
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posted on September 22, 2000 08:00:33 AM
Here you go cherbear
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jerry12
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posted on September 22, 2000 11:13:12 AM
macandjan:
You are assuming I was trying to be covert in some way. You are assuming I am tying to "fool" someone. You're judgement of me as a less than "better" troll hurts me deeply.
If I really wanted to, I could probably make you believe I am your own mother, and you would be begging me to come over and sing you to sleep.
But, alas, I am just a rather unlucky bidder, as I have 249 more green turtle lamps (anatomically correct) than I know what to do with.
Your criticism is not helpful, your sage advice certainly would be.
All the best, and Godspeed.
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yankeejoe
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posted on September 22, 2000 11:15:27 AM
On the bright side, the 249 negs will only lower your feedback by one since it's the same seller!
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abingdoncomputers
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posted on September 22, 2000 11:23:21 AM
jerry12:
I got this idea from another thread:
Sell the 249 Turtle lamps (anatomically correct) in your own dutch auction. Start them at 1 penny each.
Charge $99 shipping and handling and ship them in used pizza boxes. Of course you will probably need to smash them up to get them to fit. Your response to the 249 negs could be something like "I can't believe you negged me after I included the ants for free!"
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amalgamated2000
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posted on September 22, 2000 11:23:43 AM
jerry12, I still don't buy your story. I mean, you want us to believe that not one other buyer took advantage of this fabulous deal on anatomically correct turtle lamps??? C'mon...
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reston_ray
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posted on September 22, 2000 11:39:59 AM
MEYA - Watch it. Your getting into areas of slander. The picture you posted is of a Troll who is decended from Scandinavian folklore. We are not to be confused with trolls who trace their lineage back to the French trollers(fishermen).
We live under bridges or in caves, come in sizes ranging from dwarf to giant, have appearences only a mother could love and cause very little online troubles.
Now if the parents of an offspring should be one of each lineage then all bets are off as to what kind of trouble they might cause.
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pickersangel
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posted on September 22, 2000 11:49:54 AM
You could have a yard sale....have your grandma sitting outside her house with the lamps half an hour before the sale is slated to start. Someone will show up and try to take them off her hands for a few hundred bucks......just be sure to make it look like you're trying to stop the buyer as he/she is loading the lamps, so he/she'll be sure to take all of them..... 
[ edited by pickersangel on Sep 22, 2000 11:51 AM ]
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yankeejoe
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posted on September 22, 2000 11:51:08 AM
Is that an anatomically correct troll? I know where you could unload about 250 of those!
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pickersangel
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posted on September 22, 2000 11:53:41 AM
Oh, yeah, I forgot...then you need to get your lawyer to sue the buyer for taking advantage of a senile little old lady, so you can make back the rest of your money on the lamps.....
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yankeejoe
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posted on September 22, 2000 11:55:31 AM
Just make sure the lampshade is not made of Waverly material.
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bobarrett
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posted on September 22, 2000 12:06:00 PM
As these are anotomically correct,and aren't alive,I would suggest contacting the Canadian Curling team as a potential buyer.All they would have to do is flip them over,as they are pre-equipped with natural "handle" already....
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