posted on September 29, 2000 09:54:27 PM
I have somewhat of a problem;
Although it was against Ebay's rules, my wife's mother asked me to sell her 11 year old cow, Sylvia, at auction. It was a 5 day auction and a resident of a nearby town was high bidder (over 8 others) with a bid of $655.00. Not a bad deal as cows go.
Payment was made with a money order, but the $65.00 delivery charge was not included. Before I could send an e-mail to inquire as to why, I received the following e-mail from the buyer:
Dear xxx,
Hopefully you have received my payment. You will notice that I did not include the cost of shipping due to the unique fact that this "item" has four legs and can walk, therefore negating the need for a delivery charge. Since we are so close, I figured delivery would not require ANY cost at all.
Signed
xxx
Needless to say I was perplexed. Did this fool think I could just hand the cow a roadmap and 35 cents for the toll and send it on it's way? I have to rent a truck and take a couple of hours off of work to deliver this as it is---since the buyer also told me in a previous e-mail that he cannot accept delivery at any time except weekdays between 3 and 5 PM.
I realize I should have stated that the buyer is required to pick "item" up, but since the guy was so close I figured I'd do him a favor and bring it myself.
Sylvia is a great cow, smart too. But I don't think she, especially at her age, will fair very well navigating the Interstate.
What should I do? Demand payment for delivery and leave a neg, or just deliver her.
I already have reservations about putting her in the home of someone like this, so I'm leaning toward cancelling the whole transaction and just relisting her.
posted on September 29, 2000 10:06:32 PM
Call a Mooooving Company & see how much they charge to deliver. Then milk it for all it's worth. Don't take any bull off this buyer...either he ponies up (oops, wrong animal) the mooola, or he gets a neg.
posted on September 29, 2000 10:18:08 PM
I would kill the cow, take it to a butcher... invite the neighbor over for a cheese burger and give him his money order back. I mean come on you can't possibly expect him to pay $655 for an 11 year old cow that can't even read a map.
posted on September 29, 2000 10:26:44 PM
I do appreciate your thoughtful responses and I will let you know how this ends up. I already have an idea of how to resolve this, but I would like to give this buyer another chance to reconsider his decision.
posted on September 29, 2000 10:31:38 PMjerry12 The dilemmas you get yourself into are typically insolvable (not to mention otherworldly) but in this case I think I can provide you with a simple solution. To wit:
1) Let Sylvia get a running start and then chase her down, wrestle her to the ground, and hog-tie her feet with Priority Mail tape…
2) Then get out your magic marker and scribble “Gateway” prominently in several places on her hide…
3) Then slap a mailing label and postage (yep, it’ll cost ya a bunch, but better than having a heifer in your Barcalounger for eternity) on her rear…
4) Finally, hoist her up in your pick-em-up truck and haul her down to the P.O. in the middle of the night and drop her off at the back door…
I’m glad I could be of service. Feel free to avail yourself of my unique problem solving abilities anytime…
edited to fix a wayward UBBie
[ edited by Cooltom on Sep 29, 2000 10:33 PM ]
Don't be cowed by this person. Hoof on over to McDonalds, have one of their obnoxious "beef" patties (which probably will be deceased relatives of your offering, or an offering of the deceased relatives of your offering) and a cup of Java, then go home and file a non-egg-laying bidders report. You'll get your final fleas back. Post negative feedbag also. It is udderly reprehensible what this person did. I would also contact Bo Vine, the nation's foremost Attorney-At-Paw, if you have the 2 stomachs it requires to take this any further. $665 is a lot of money. Milk it for all it's worth.
Your situation curdles my cream. Let's start getting this behind us, put it out to pasture so to speak.
[ edited by tentwentytwo on Sep 30, 2000 06:19 AM ]
Definately cancel this transaction. You are sitting on a gold mine. Keep Sylvia, and start this business that is popular in upstate New York. It's called cow pie bingo.
Take a pasture and marked it off into squares like a big checkerboard, then number the squares. Then sell tickets with the numbers on them. Once you've sold several thousand dollars worth of tickets, let Sylvia loose into the pasture. Whichever square she poops on is the winning square.
You then take half the money for the winner. If more than one ticket sold for the winning square number, then all the ticket holders for that number split the money. If Sylvia hits more than one square, ticket holders of both squares get to share the money.
Then you start all over again. It's a great way to put the old cow into retirement. The small town volunteer fire departments in NY do this every year and make enough money to operate their fire houses.
If you are really enterprising you could use the opportunity to set up concessions and make even more money. If you have some games, you could get rid of all those turtle lamps for prizes. You could become really famous. Sylvia would be better off and so will you. Give it a try!
posted on September 30, 2000 07:42:16 AM
What moooving experiences Jerry has. It is great that he is here to take a little bite out of our usual daily routine. Great way to start a weekend.
posted on September 30, 2000 12:27:24 PM
Well, Jerry, the solution is really quite simple. You should very graciously deliver her to the buyer, and at your expense, since you seem to play loose and free with your TOS.
But before you do, be sure she knows the way home. Granted, cows aren't too bright, but perhaps some 'programming' or a post-hypnotic suggestion would do the trick.
Leave the gate or the barn door open until she returns, then sell 'er again...but always to someone nearby. In fact, you may can get even more for her if you advertise her as 'trained' (without elaborating).
This plan assumes, of course, that you have described her accurately as having four legs.
posted on September 30, 2000 12:47:26 PM
Absolutely cowful puns. And it herds my feelings to say that. Don't let him bum steer a free delivery from you. And don't be a coward.
