zemanski
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posted on November 19, 2000 02:45:12 PM
Ok---first, I'll say that I have no animosity for the transaction I am about to describe--- only that I feel the need to vent about it. All was fair (to a point) and the transaction was smooth...but....
Over the summer, I was auctioning several Holiday ornaments. I realized my timing was less than advantageous. One person emailed me about some particular items and asked how many, of different varieties, I had. Well, I had over 125 and told them so. My intention was to save most of the lot for this time of year. They had a VERY low winning bid on the item and she told me how she had gone through a divorce and lost all of her past ornaments in the "battle". She'd since remarried and they were combining families and the prospect of having their first tree somewhat barren left her depressed since she (and I am paraphrasing from memory) "didn't have enough money to really invest in such things." So, I felt my heart thump and sold her my whole lot for her low (and only) bid price.(per piece--- not the whole lot for one bid price) I felt good about it! I really thought I was helping some sort of Brady Bunch family have a fully decorated tree. Lo and behold...she's auctioning them all on eBay! (With much better timing than I managed!)
As I said, the transaction went well, she paid on time and was pleasant to deal with. But it looks like I fell for a sob story that had no basis in reality...she was just playing on my sentimental side and won! And now she's selling what I sold HER for a much greater profit!
Ouch!
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macandjan
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posted on November 19, 2000 02:56:23 PM
[ edited by macandjan on Dec 3, 2000 02:46 PM ]
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rancher24
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posted on November 19, 2000 03:00:34 PM
That certainly is painful!....Since you were sooooo kind hearted to her!.....In the big scheme of things tho', wouldn't ya really rather be YOU than HER???....I certainly would!!!
I buy every sob story, hook line & sinker.....I preserve my sanity (and ultimately my good will) by NEVER EVER EVER lookin' back!.....If I sell something for rock bottom price & THEN discover that I "gave away" a goodie, I would NEVER look to see if/when the buyer resells the item...that way I never REALLY know....&...it works great for me!!
Take heart, and don't let the turkeys get ya down!!!
~ Rancher
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VeryModern
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posted on November 19, 2000 03:00:57 PM
Cheer up zemanski, you know what they say about ill gotten gains. You did something caring and benevolent and it will surely come back to you in spades.
Let's just say I'd rather be in your shoes than hers.
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zemanski
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posted on November 19, 2000 03:06:21 PM
macandjan You're right, this is absolutely a business venue and I suppose my downfall in this instance is that I wasn't ebaying for a full time income so it was somewhat easy for me to move the inventory without looking at it from a P&L point of view. Of course, hindsight is 20/20 and I'm kicking myself for being human rather than the ultimate business machine. I can't imagine lying like that and being able to live with myself... but maybe they ARE using eBay for their full-time income. Doesn't make it excusable in my eyes... but sometimes paying the bills is just paying the bills. I hope I'm never reduced to that! 
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zemanski
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posted on November 19, 2000 03:11:34 PM
Rancher and VeryModern-
I was typing my previous response before both of yours were posted. THANK YOU both..you've reminded me why I did it in the first place: it felt like the right thing to do. And, I didn't intentionally search for those items to see if they were being re-sold, but rather because I inadvertantly included a personal (and engraved) ornament in the lot. It appears I can bid to get it back :::sigh:::
I'm amazed at the support rather than the "quitcherbitchin" responses...
Thanks, guys!
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rancher24
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posted on November 19, 2000 03:52:33 PM
zemanski.....You are very welcome...."nice folk" should always be consoled by other "nice folk", Lord knows we all get kicked enough!....
Hey, here's an idea....instead of outright bidding on your personal ornament, why don't you try emailin' the seller with your very own sob story...Something like:
Dear Seller,
Imagine my surprize when shoppin' on eBay today I found your auctions for the Christmas ornaments I sold to you this summer....I sincerely hope that your newly blended family is still lookin' forward to a first holiday season together....
I was sooo happy to see that you have my INSERT ORNAMENT NAME HERE...I've been looking all over for it...I now realize that I accidentally included it with your lot of ornaments....As I am sure you can understand, this does mean quite a bit to me & since it was not supposed to be included with the lot, it would mean the world to me if you would return it to me...I will be happy to pay the shipping & insurance for it...I would put the sparkle back on our Christmas tree....
Thank You & Happiest of Holidays to you & your family
Zemanski
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dejavu
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posted on November 19, 2000 04:02:02 PM
zemanski~ quitcherbitchen! JUST KIDDING! You did a nice thing for all the right reasons and this witch did the wrong thing for all the wrong reasons.
I agree with rancher, send that email and then report back to us. Let's find out the true measure of this seller!
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zemanski
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posted on November 19, 2000 04:08:04 PM
rancher24 Mind if I copy and paste?!!? LOL
The funny part is that the listing has the engraving as part of the Limited Edition of this particular ornament...as though it was signed by the artist or designer (it's my husband's an my initials- pre marriage)
Oh...and it has 4 bids....all still below $20.00 so I'm thinking the best way might be to go ahead and bid and get it and see if she recognizes my name/screen name and address... It'd be worth the small investment to be covertly successful. Then again, she might just think I'm some moron re-buying my inventory! LOL
Wen
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december3
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posted on November 19, 2000 04:08:04 PM
mac's brother in law sounds just like my husbands cousin. He's taken everybody he knows including us. We moved and he doesn't have our address or phone number. What a relief. I however still tend to believe sob stories, just not his. I'm sorry you got taken but who knows, maybe the marriage didn't work out and she needs the money to live on. Doesn't make it right, but a little easier to swallow. Santa should bring you something extra nice for being a nice person.
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macandjan
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posted on November 19, 2000 05:04:36 PM
[ edited by macandjan on Dec 3, 2000 02:47 PM ]
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zemanski
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posted on November 19, 2000 05:15:17 PM
Mac & December3 Thanksgiving in my dysfunctional family is looking better and better! But, of course, it's all relative 
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abingdoncomputers
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posted on November 19, 2000 05:39:00 PM
zemanski:
You really shouldn't feel like a sucker. You did a wonderful thing for someone else and nobody can take that away from you.
Here is another possibility. It is entirely possible that this person bought your ornaments and truly intended to use them on their own tree. Maybe something happened in the new family's financial life that required her to sell them instead.
Things are tough for a new family sometimes and faced with the choice of having a pretty Christmas tree and not having anything under it for the children, I would do the very same thing that your bidder did. I'm not saying that's what happened here, but I do believe in giving the benefit of the doubt whenever possible.
You have already given this family your Christmas gift with your kindness. Whether they deserve it or not isn't really your problem. Maybe your gift will mean the kids in this family will wake up on Christmas morning and with tears of joy running down their face, made possible in a very real way by you.
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zemanski
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posted on November 19, 2000 06:11:28 PM
maybe...the kids in this family will wake up on Christmas morning and with tears of joy running down their face
Why do I suddenly feel like the Grinch? LOL Point taken and appreciated.
Wen
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abingdoncomputers
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posted on November 19, 2000 06:17:38 PM
No need at all to feel like the Grinch. Maybe Santa Claus?
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macandjan
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posted on November 19, 2000 06:29:07 PM
[ edited by macandjan on Dec 3, 2000 02:48 PM ]
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UpInTheHills
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posted on November 19, 2000 06:37:52 PM
zemanski, I must say you are being very level headed in all of this. If I were in your shoes, I'd be furious. Not about her buying something to re-sell, but rather, about the lie. I've often been suckered by people that are much better at manipulation than I ever hope to be. I guess we can both be glad that we don't live our lives expecting to be lied to. That is the only real consolation here, I can bet you are a much happier person than your dear buyer.
edited for ubb
[ edited by UpInTheHills on Nov 19, 2000 06:38 PM ]
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zemanski
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posted on November 19, 2000 07:02:03 PM
abingdoncomputers (is that Abingdon, Maryland?) My son would call me a "Ho Ho" LOLOL Somehow I don't want to get into what that implies...;D
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abingdoncomputers
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posted on November 19, 2000 07:05:32 PM
Abingdon, VA
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zemanski
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posted on November 19, 2000 07:25:54 PM
UpInTheHills Y'know--that's the great thing about these boards. I was furious and masked it with my own admitted naivete to the situation and I was met with (and believe me I WAS surprised) a general understanding. I needed to vent and I GOT to without having to defend myself.
Man--- it's been a good day.
Wen
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twinsoft
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posted on November 19, 2000 08:13:45 PM
People who do this don't know or care that it is wrong. She's probably celebrating her good business sense. Personally I've heard too many "my dad's dying and that was his favorite toy when he was a kid so sell it to me at half price" stories to take any of them seriously.
You were suckered but your comment that "maybe she needs the money more than me" indicates that you still haven't had enough abuse. Since you don't want to defend yourself I'll leave it at that. Whether or not her story is true (and I don't believe it), it is totally inappropriate to ask financial favors from strangers over the Internet. It puts you in a very difficult position, and I would hope anyone would have enough self-respect not to be manipulated.
I'm not suggesting that anyone harden their heart. Practice prudence. If you feel the need to give, take part of your sales and donate it to CCF. Sorry to hear you were ripped off. Actions like this scammer's diminish everyone.
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mcjane
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posted on November 19, 2000 09:12:45 PM
What twinsoft said is right on.
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zemanski
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posted on November 19, 2000 09:37:21 PM
twinsoft You were suckered but your comment that "maybe she needs the money more than me" indicates that you still haven't had enough abuse
Are you paraphrasing something you thought I said? I didsay that I hoped I was never reduced to such ploys...but I would always use correct grammar which your quote doesn't allow...
Wen
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UpInTheHills
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posted on November 19, 2000 10:49:53 PM
Twinsoft:I would hope anyone would have enough self-respect not to be manipulated.
A true master of manipulation is capable of manipulating you without your ever knowing it has transpired. Sometimes, like in this case, you'll find out after the fact.
I hope that I am never so jaded that I am incapable of trying to help someone for fear I don't have enough self respect.
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twinsoft
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posted on November 19, 2000 11:26:06 PM
Z, you said, "but maybe they ARE using eBay for their full-time income. Doesn't make it excusable in my eyes... but sometimes paying the bills is just paying the bills."
This isn't a court of law. I was paraphrasing your comment. I think if you are trying to excuse in any way the actions of the person who scammed you, then you're just looking for more of the same. I say this for the benefit of others who may be reading this thread. It is not intended as a personal criticism. As you noted, hindsight is 20/20.
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twinsoft
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posted on November 20, 2000 12:20:58 AM
UpInTheHills, yes that is the other side of the coin. I withheld most of my comments because the originator of the thread didn't want to "defend" herself. I realize that leaves my words looking somewhat jaded.
There is really no way to discern the truth or falsity of statements like the customer's here. What's more, who has time to play Sherlock Holmes? I do not disbelieve such claims, but I do not believe them either. For that reason, I recommended PRUDENCE. Especially when it involves a complete stranger who expects me to take them at their word, and especially when that stranger is, in effect, asking for my money. That is only common sense.
Perhaps a daily dose of "warm fuzzies" and heart-thumping pathos is worth the cost. "You should feel good because you did the right thing." Great, if you don't mind constantly tripping over human nature. There is a fine line between compassion and gullibility.
Let me clarify my comment about self-respect and manipulation. In a scam like this, the scammer depends not only on the victim's good nature, but also on the fear of loss of affection. "If you don't do me this favor, I'll think you are mean and cruel." It takes self-respect and self-confidence to just say "no" to someone who is flattering you and instead risk their disfavor.
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cix
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posted on November 20, 2000 03:47:55 AM
Me myself I would never fall for a SOB story, but then I read the original post deeper and realized that if I had 125 of the same item and I listed one of those items for a price I set and the item won I would be happy. If the person offered to buy the other 124 similar items all at once for the same price I offered the first one for I would be happier. I sell plenty of items I know are being resold because payments come from antique stores and I do not mind a bit. They paid what I wanted so I am happy.
Z, you got what you asked for your items. You have no reason at all to be ashamed, upset, or even embarrassed. The buyer didn't scam you if you got what you wanted for the items and you didn't even have to write up 125 auctions.
I would consider this a win situation for myself, I do not understand why you do not.
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zemanski
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posted on November 20, 2000 04:52:32 AM
cix The buyer didn't scam you if you got what you wanted for the items and you didn't even have to write up 125 auctions Agreed: a minimum opening bid is a set price of sorts---but I usually hope for more on my auctions and haven't often had to settle for that first opening bid.
I don't want to turn this into a pity party for me--- and I agree that I successfully sold 125+ items at a minimum opening bid. This could create the whole "is your opening bid your accepted price?" debate---and that's a whole new can of worms.
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abingdoncomputers
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posted on November 20, 2000 05:00:15 AM
zemanski:
You did the right thing. So maybe the buyer was dishonest in her dealings with you. Then again maybe things turned out similar to what I described above. You may never know. And the bottom line is that you don't really need to know. You were a decent person who did something nice for someone else. I hope you continue in the same manner. Be diligent of course and protect yourself from scams whenever possible. But you will never really go wrong being a decent human being. You might lose a little cash from time to time but you'll always be able to feel good about the life that you're living which is infinitely more important. And all of this is of course IMHO. Good luck.
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macandjan
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posted on November 20, 2000 05:37:06 AM
[ edited by macandjan on Dec 3, 2000 02:48 PM ]
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