posted on January 14, 2001 01:42:02 AM new
There is no need to reply to this post. I just need to whine about my stupid horrid life for a minute and I really don't have anyone else to whine to.
My primary source of income was cut off a couple weeks ago due to my employer being arrested (don’t ask!!!) I am a single parent and have no clue how to make ends meet.
I don’t know if I can make it with ebay full time. The money I have made on ebay was just not a huge amount probably a couple hundred a month, I used it primarily to pay for preschool. With my other job (past tense) I didn’t make very much. I paid the rent and the bills and that’s about it, no savings but it allowed me to stay at home with my son, which was my main goal.
I am beyond depressed and can’t pay rent, lights or heat. I have no clue how to climb out of this hole. I feel like I am not being a great mom because I am so stressed. My life SUCKS!!
Sorry to dump my stupid personal life on you guys!!
posted on January 14, 2001 01:58:53 AM new
I think you are at the point where you need to get out the phone book and start calling around to find one of those free counselors, a jobs counselor who will help you to sort out your thoughts and guide you in analyzing all of your options. Lots of times there are solutions to what seems like hopeless situations and the right person or program will show you choices you didn't know you had.
posted on January 14, 2001 02:33:17 AM new
From what I understand January is still a good time to make some decent money on eBay. Check around the house and see what you have. I was surprised at what I could sell, I almost threw some of it in the garbage (like old Ikea catalogs).
Maybe now's the time to take the plunge and go fulltime on eBay. Or, buy some lottary tickets and hope for the best! That's what I do, but it never works.
Anyways, unless you are already behind in your bills, I doubt they'll cut off your light and heat (especially in the winter).
posted on January 14, 2001 02:33:26 AM new
cmbtboots, I don't know where you live dear, but here in Ohio they have done away with regular welfare programs and now have what is called jobs Ohio. They have funnelled all those dollars into helping families survive and work.
You need to check with your local dept of human services for the kind of assistance they give. This is not a handout, it is a hand up.(I know I got that motto wrong).
Good luck to you dear, I've been there and done that and here I am 30 years later, still surviving.
You might also want to call your local mental health clinic. They can offer you more than psychiatric counseling too.
posted on January 14, 2001 03:36:48 AM new
Dear Lady,
I read your posting.
Yes, life is troublesome sometimes/often/occasionally.
Most people will confirm this, I reckon. In Europe it is the same as in the US.
I was at a point to almost give up, when my merriage broke, but I relived again, started to walk through South-Africa and am greatful that I breath, see, walk and can sell. Dark days take their turns.
posted on January 14, 2001 03:52:25 AM new
IMMEDIATELY get yourself to every social service agency and employment agency you can find! It takes them several weeks to get stuff together for a client, for interviews, etc.
Apply for unemployment insurance, and file your income tax NOW for a fast refund. If you were holdiong back and "good stuff", list it NOW ... it will take about 3 weeks for the money to reach you.
If you wait until you are flat broke, you'll be evicted in the time it takes to find a new job or to get assistance from an agency.
Don't let your pride get in the way of taking food stamps, SSUI, ADC, or whatever it takes to keep your going ... that's what you've been paying taxes for.
posted on January 14, 2001 04:07:51 AM new
abacaxi, I work at a mental health clinic. It no longer takes us months to get things rolling. Crisis intervention systems have been built and put into place all over the country. Agencys can now line up housing, food, transportation, and emergency assistance for utilities etc within hours. A person needs to get on the phone, if you get "no" from someone, then ask them where to call, eventually you will get ahold of the right person.
The resources are out there, you just have to persist with asking for help. Like abacaxi said, don't let your pride get in the way. You are asking for your child, not for yourself.
There are people out there who care, just remember that.
posted on January 14, 2001 04:30:08 AM new
rariffle -
"Agencys can now line up housing, food, transportation, and emergency assistance for utilities etc within hours."
WHERE do you live? The only agency here (AZ)that can move that fast is the Red Cross, and only then if your house burns down.
posted on January 14, 2001 04:42:42 AM new
It is 5:30 am, I can't sleep and I am sitting here in the same flannel pajamas I have worn for three days (GROSS I know). I feel a bit stupid for posting my problems like a whiney teenager!! That is what I get for chasing a unisom with rum.
Actually, this is probably not the best place to blab, but since I am on a roll. I have worked under the table for several years since I was audited in my early 20s and was told I owed Uncle Sam a grand total of $21,000, now it is up to $30,000, so I have not really contributed much to the government purse since college. I guess I feel like I am in this huge pit.
Add insult to injury, my son informed me he is now Superman and Superman DOES NOT kiss his mom.
posted on January 14, 2001 05:47:55 AM new
abacaxi, I live in central Ohio. Here we have networked all of the area resources so that this can be addressed quickly and efficiently. This has evolved over a number of years and works very well.
Say that you are homeless. You can contact the police dept., salvation army, hospital, DHS, mental health agency, etc. They all have a list of agencys and emergency numbers. They call an appropriate number and that agency networks from there.
Some people still fall through the cracks but the overall efficiency of the program is amazing.
The funds for these programs comes from federal and state grants. Part of winning these grants is the community networking plans. Once agencies quit worrying about hording the almighty dollar and start wanting to actually make the world a better place, it is mind boggling what can be accomplished.
posted on January 14, 2001 05:59:16 AM new
Well you are still going to need help even if you can't document that you were making money from this person. Tell the councelers that you were being provided for by this fellow who was arrested. In a roundabout way that is true. They will assume you were his live in girl friend and you don't have to mention you worked for him. You start to see why this time around you need to have a real documented job that gives you these protections like unemployment.
If you are not keeping track of the eBay sales you are going to have to do that also.
Especially if you increase the amount you are selling. If it was a small amount consider it hobby selling of your household items and start keeping account from the start of this year. If you do not it will be another thing to come back and bite you on the butt.
Do you have a car?
do you have access to public transportation?
Obviously you can use a computer - do you have job skills?
You said since college.
Whatever you do you are going to have to pay the IRS some payment plan. It won't go away unless you are prepared to leave the country.
It will just sit there and grow interest.
Right now stupid things the kid says is not the problem no matter how irritating. Mon. is a holiday. Tues, you should be out of the flannels and ready to go talk to some agencies.
Let us know what you do.
posted on January 14, 2001 06:20:09 AM new
May I suggest to you what I do. For the past 8 years I have worked for temporary employment agencies. Before you say that you can't earn a living doing this I'm here to tell you you can. Go to several temp agencies and sign up. You will have to do tessting, etc, so they can determine your skills. You tell them the minimum amount you will work for (be realistic) and how far you are willing to travel (you can adjust your monentary rate up or down if they offer you a job close to home or farther away than you might want to go). I don't have the time to go into all the advantages of working for the temps. Some jobs are temp to perm, others may be temp. Most jobs become permanent (if you like them and they like you)but at the moment your problem is mostly cash flow. You can continue to sell on ebay at home. Have you though about doing babysitting for other working mothers since you have a small child (children) who need daycare? In any event, I do recommend the temps. My husband and I are truly blessed to have 2 homes. One here in PA and a winter home in Florida. We are far from rich. He's a semi-retired funeral director who works for funeral homes both here and when he returns to Florida. I work for the temp agencies here in Pa and in Florida as well. I'm always busy! With the temps I can take a week or a few days off if I need to - we turned our garage into a tiny antique shop and sell many things on ebay so if I need a day to catch up on stuff I get it. In Florida I work for Staffing Solutions by Personnel One and in Pa I work for a small agency called Hobbie Personnel. One other thing - a few moments everyday practicing your faith will help!!!! As soon as a depressing thought comes your way start thinking about how your are going to be making money at a wonderful, new, exciting job.
I'll say a prayer for your success!
posted on January 14, 2001 07:10:34 AM new
"I have worked under the table for several years"
The best thing is to come clean, throw yourself on what little mercy the IRS has, and get a GOOD tax accountant. It's quite possible the people that employed you KNEW they were doing something illegal and you can swap info on them for leniency from the IRS. It's the employer's duty to make sure the witholding gets held, etc.
But if you keep in the underground economy, you are wide iopen to exploitaiton and have to forgo a lot of the protections that regular employees have.
posted on January 14, 2001 08:00:05 AM new
Just an FYI. Regarding the IRS, they have 10 years from the date that the tax you owe is assessed to collect it. If they don't collect it in ten years, it goes away. I'm not advocating walking away from your debts or anything, I know this because I did some research for a computer-less friend one time.
If you call them NOW, while you genuinely have nothing, they might make a payment arrangement with you for $25. a month. They can't ask for something that you just don't have and by calling them and not ignoring them, you are making a good faith gesture to arrange to pay the money back.
After the payment arrangement is signed and in effect, then you will be liable to send them only the amount you agreed to, so it won't break your paycheck if you get a job that's on the books.
I'm sorry to hear of your situation. Lay off the rum, take a deep breath and follow the great advice above from other posters.
Not Kerryann on eBay
clarity
[ edited by kerryann on Jan 14, 2001 08:01 AM ]
posted on January 14, 2001 08:02:40 AM new
Hey Combat boots -- if you can do business on ebay, you can do ANYTHING! First of all, to do business on eBay, you have to be smart. Bottom line: YOU ARE SMART! Secondly, to do business on eBay, you have to be computer literate. Bottom Line: YOU HAVE A MARKETABLE SKILL.
Take a shower, get dressed, take Superman out for an ice cream. Because first thing Tuesday (Monday a lot of people will be closed), you're going to go to a temp agency. Temp agencies are the best thing that ever happened to people who need to get back on their feet! They'll test you like crazy but should find something for you because...like I said, if you can list on eBay, you have a marketable skill -- your knowledge of computers. The temp agency should be able to get you something that easily pays over $10/hour. Plus, that will get you some contacts. If you're as good as I think you are (hell, your posts even showed the ability to laugh at yourself -- that shows brains too!), you'll have a full time job in no time.
posted on January 14, 2001 08:27:28 AM new
This may sound kind of lame to you ... but I believe that sometimes God opens up new opportunities for us by closing doors. New life paths we might never tread upon if there hadn't been that deafening "Slam!". I'm a firm believer that success at anything isn't just luck (unless we are talking lottery tickets ). It's usually when preparation recognizes and meets opportunity.
I said I quick prayer for you just now. A prayer that today is just the threshold of a new adventure, and will result in many blessings down the road for you.
posted on January 14, 2001 08:56:08 AM new
Hi, cmbtboots - You've gotten some great advice in these posts. If I were you, I would print it all out, get out the phone book, and start PLANNING. Get the addresses and numbers of all the agencies (especially the state-run ones) and be ready to roll on Tuesday. You need a specific plan for each day; career and employment counselors would tell you that your job now is to get a job, and you go at it just as if you were being paid to do it.
Many of the agencies, including the state agencies, have on-line sites where you can get lots of information.
If you find yourself unable to start making plans, then you may need counseling right away for depression - do that for your child, if you don't feel like doing it for yourself.
Many jobs are gotten through people you know - let all your friends and family members know what you are up against, if they don't know already.
I agree with heartsong - I am a firm believer that any time a door closes, another one opens. Your job is to find it.
Let us know how you are doing - I believe everyone here really cares.
posted on January 14, 2001 09:03:28 AM new
Some real good advice there - If you are overhelmed and just can't start to do anything to recover you are probably so depressed you will need to address that problem before you can do anything else effectively. But it is fixable.
posted on January 14, 2001 09:07:06 AM new
cmbtboots - put on those boots and get in there and fight...
You need to talk to every agency that can assist you. At this point you need help, you can't do it alone. Put a mental health agency at the top of your list. You need to have your head clear to be able to handle all you're going to have to deal with. If it means taking antidepressants for awhile do it.
Get your eBay records together to prove so far your selling was a hobby. Ask friends and relatives if they would be willing to give you things that they would have donated or thrown away. List them on eBay as soon as possible. This way you're not asking to borrow money that you would have to repay, and it would show you're willing to put forth an effort to pull yourself up.
The IRS is never going to go away..you know that! You've got to do something about that immediately. You can't progress if you're hiding and worrying about getting caught.
Get out of those PJs and start kicking some arse! Good luck and kiss that kid anyway.
posted on January 14, 2001 09:25:22 AM newheartsong is absolutely correct. Sometimes, we need that kick in the bootie to get ourselves out of the corner we got ourselves stuck in. We take so much for granted that when suddenly, things do not work anymore, we panick.
You will soon find that indeed, you have very marketable skills; and a bottomless source of strength. Meanwhile, speak to the Landlord; not all of them are ogres; and count your blessings that you have Superman: a child will often soften many hearts.
posted on January 14, 2001 09:53:47 AM new
cmbtboots:
I've got a pretty large backlog of inventory to sell- I'll probably not get to some of this stuff for years. If you'd like to email me, I can send you a box of product that you can sell easily on eBay over the next month or two- long enough to allow you to start digging out of the hole you feel you're in. And if you're ever in a place where you can afford to, you can pay me 20% of what you made- or whatever you think is fair.
I think most of us have been in a hole at one time or another. I've been there.
And please do get to a doctor to see whether you're clinically depressed. Chemical imbalances can be corrected, making the world look much better.
posted on January 14, 2001 10:14:31 AM new
Believe me, I know how you feel, I know what real depression is like, I know what it is like not to be able to get out of bed, or out of the pj's, or out of the house. There has been a lot of great advice posted, I hate to add to it because there can be so much that it can be overwhelming in itself. However, it is possible that you suffer from clinical depression, as I do. If so, it won't go away. I understand that with everything facing you, going to a doctor is an added trip and an additional expense, but a good gp can diagnose and prescribe for that condition and you can feel better. Get dressed, get out of the house, go over to the public library and look up a book by Dr. David D. Burns called Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. It just might help you. My public library here in Nevada also has much employment information available. About 15 years ago, a few days before Christmas, I opened up my newspaper and saw a big headline stating that the copper mine I had been working in for 10 years was closing down and everyone was being laid off. Great Christmas news, eh? Within the next day or two, I was in the office of the state employment services. These people were extremely helpful, and had many resources available, including resume writing help and transportation funds to get me to job interviews if necessary, and even relocation funds if I needed to move to get a job. And, believe it or not, this was in Arizona . It turned out that I did not need to make use of their services, but they were there if I needed them, and many of my friends did use them. The temp agencies also are great resources, my kids made a lot of use of them when they lived here. I have also had problems with the IRS. This agency has changed a lot in the last few years. They will talk to you, and work with you, but they may not be the first people you want to talk to. It is also my experience that retrainng and education funds are available to help keep you going if you truly need to get learn new skills to get a job. I have a friend who got into electronics technology in this way, through a state agency, and he has been steadily employed in power plants at very high wages for many years now. So, the thing is, many alternatives and resources are available to you. But, you must take the first step. Get dressed, get out of the house, and get started. I know it is difficult, but only you can take that first step and reach out for help. I have been where you are. Please believe me, it will get better.
Nick the damdude (Hoover Dam, control center operator)
PS Online auction sales really can be a great way to raise some money, full time or part time. Whether it is practical to take it up now as your full time occupation depends on a lot of things, but give it some thought. You already have your start there.
posted on January 14, 2001 10:25:57 AM new
What abacaxi and grow said.
Is your auction biz enough at this point to support you? Probably not. And it sounds like you've got some serious bills to pay alongside of keeping a roof over your head.
I temped for well over a year, made more than some of the permanent staff at the firms I worked with, and was very much in the catbird seat when it came to taking on a permanent job - I knew the prospective employer from the inside out, and the employer already knew and wanted ME. Warning: temping is plenty fun, and if you pay your temping dues (nasty assignments nobody else wants) and show you're really an asset to the agency, in no time you will be able to pick and choose your assignments AND your hourly. (BTDT with bells on.)
Meanwhile, you can "grow" your ebiz, and if and when it's enough to pay your bills, you can auction full-time.
posted on January 14, 2001 10:27:36 AM new
cmbtboots
I am also a single mother with a school age child. I suffer, and have suffered for almost 5 years, from biological depression and anxiety attacks. Last year I was medically taken off work due to those two above problems and an addition medical problem that is chronic and life changing but not life threatening. It is unknown if or when I will ever go back to work. I sell what I can on eBay just to have extra money for my child's lunch at school, clothing and if we are lucky trips to the movies, etc. We live very very low level because there is not much of an alternative for us at the moment. I panic when I start to run out of things to sell on eBay (like now!) because 2 or 3 checks a day for $10 works fine for me. I want to continue on eBay getting into the field of DVD's as it seems to be quite popular and I'm trying to look into finding more information about it. Hang in there. I go to bed at night alone and in a state of panic almost every night but if it weren't for eBay it would be a lot worse than that!!! So there is a silver lining to every dark cloud no matter what.
posted on January 14, 2001 10:35:36 AM new
In almost every community there are mental health clinics that charge based on the income in the home. Federal dollars subsidize these clinics and no one can be refused treatment. These clinics have not only counselors but psychologists and psychiatrists. Please do not let lack of income stop you from seeking treatment.
posted on January 14, 2001 10:45:25 AM new
Some areas are so much better at handling situations like this than others. I saw someone mention Central Ohio above. Years ago when I was in college, I ran into an unexpected severe financial problem because the business I worked for locked its doors on payday and I couldn't contact anyone about back pay. (Sounds a bit like you, cmbtboots) It was severe enough that I wouldn't have any money for anything, including food, for two weeks. Ads were running on the local TV stations about a centralized number for help. I called and they were so wonderful. I explained my situation and they gave me phone numbers specific to the area of the city I lived in.
I called that afternoon and was told to come to a paricular location, which I did. I was given a gas voucher and handed enough food to easily last me over a month. I tried to tell them that I didn't need nearly that much but they insisted on giving me 7 grocery bags and 2 boxes of various foods. When I found another job I paid them back through donation for everything which was given to me. They were surprised. I guess it doesn't happen often.
Now I work as an outside business consulant for many businesses. One of my recent duties was to locate charities in several large cities to give approximately 600 rooms of hotel furniture in each of 6 cities. We would either deliver it to a central warehouse so they could distribute it or people could come in a three day period and pick it up. I was amazed at how disjointed most city social services are. Most had no interest whatsoever. Some had interest but never got back to us. Los Angeles was amazing. A very well know assistance agency came with 21 trucks from all their area regions and hauled it all away. Some wouldn't cross into another area, even though the same agency in that area didn't want it.
Most recently I had to give away 60,000 yards of carpet. Not being familiar with Atlanta I started calling some of the social agencies directly. Someone clued me into the United Way. Locally, they can be reached in Atlanta through a single number for any circumstance. I believe it was 811. They are incredibly well organized. Not only did they give me the information on the more obvious resources but they also spent 30 minutes going through information and provided many, many gems of information that made a world of difference.
It sure does make a difference in the area you live in.
posted on January 14, 2001 10:46:53 AM new
Hi, Combatboots, I hope you are feeling better this morning....
Everyone here has given you great advice. I have clinically diagnosed depression and I know how it feels.
I want to second the idea of temping even if you do have IRS problems. It would probably take them a bit of time to garnish anything, since they have to follow a process. In the meantime you could be making 10+ dollars an hour with your computer skills. As others have said, if you can do Ebay, you can do computer work. And most temping places can find you jobs where you can brush up or learn new skills quickly (often the companies are just happy to have a warm body in the chair of an unexpectedly lost employee, and will take the time to teach you whatever you need to know.) I started temping in 1985 and for about 10 years it was a primary source of my income, coupled with my flea market business. There are so many flakes in the temp business that when someone comes in with half a brain, the agency goes crazy with delight and usually you start getting good jobs very quickly. I recommend temping to ANYONE who isn't quite sure what they want to do yet. I'm going back to it myself in Feb.
). It's usually when preparation recognizes and meets opportunity.