posted on June 4, 2001 10:40:15 AM new
Hi all! I could use your input if you are so inclined....
I file NPB's and FVF's rather religiously.
Well, here is today's dilemma...
Auction ended 5-7.
I sent EOA.
Bidder replied they would send MO.
I send reminder after 2 weeks.
No response.
3 days later, I file the NPB.
"Husband" e-mails me and says "wife" is in hospital, he will check if she still wants the widget ($88, a steal, new with tags, retails for $248).
I reply "sorry about wifey, let me know what's up with the auction".
No response.
I wait the ten days. No communication. I file FVF's, bidder becomes NARU.
This morning's mail (his CAPS):
[b] HELLO xxx MY WIFE IS VERY SICK. SHE IS PREGNANT WITH OUR FIRST CHILD AND IS BED RIDDEN WITH SERIOUS COMPLICATIONS AT THIS MOMENT. HER BIRTHDAY WAS FRIDAY AND WE COULDNT CELEBRATE BECAUSE SHE IS IN THE HOSPITAL. I HAVENT HAD TIME TO CHECK HER EMAIL UNTIL TODAY. xxx I NEED A FAVOR FROM U. EBAY HAS SUSPENDED HER FROM BIDDING WHICH IS ONE OF HER FAVORITE THINGS IN THE WORLD BESIDES GOING DIRECTLY TO THE MALL. SHE WAS SUSPENDED DUE TO YOUR THIRD WARNING. I HAVE NOT TOLD HER YET BECAUSE SHE IS SLEEP MOST OF THE TIME. BUT I KNOW SHE WOULD HATE IT. CAN U PLEASE RETACT THE NEGATIVE FEEDBACK OR WARNINGS ON HER AND MY BEHALF? I KNOW THIS IS ASKING ALOT.
THANKS
RICK [/b]
Phase One: I feel guilty.
I look at her history, she has four pages of bids in the last 30 days, still bidding just a few days ago. She has won two dozen auctions in that time.
Phase Two: I feel lied to
She has a FB of 11 (all pos), many of which ended within a few days of my auctions. The majority of her bids are on high end items like mine (Coach, Gucci, etc) while the remaining are for exotic dancer attire.
Phase Three: I am suspicious of "illness", "husband", and "wife" story.
So......
Is it all BS?
What would you do?
Since I am not the only one she has stiffed (or she wouldn't have become NARU) I'm thinking "ignore", you too?
or have I, once again, become comfortably numb?
Thanks all!
only ZOOMIN here
[ edited by zoomin on Jun 4, 2001 02:09 PM ]
posted on June 4, 2001 10:48:10 AM new
Don't believe him.
Even if it is true, you are a businessperson, and this is your business. The bad apples (the liars) have made it impossible to distinguish who is telling the truth and who is not.
Based upon the fact that their account was still being used for bidding (which is something I always check when getting a sob story), I would not lose sleep over what you did. One of two things is happening here: Either they are lying, or there are 2 people using 1 account, which is a violation of the almighty eBay rules. Relist the item and chalk it up to an experience.
posted on June 4, 2001 10:48:33 AM new
You're trying your best to run a business. You don't really know whether or not the story is true and shouldn't lose any sleep over it, one way or the other.
Sick, pregnant women do not usually shop for exotic dancer attire, just my opinion. We've all heard the sick-in-the-hospital stories. Some may be true, but...
I'd reply with an "I'm very sorry about your wife" email and move on.
posted on June 4, 2001 10:49:59 AM new
Hi zoomin,
I might be kind of jaded today, but personally I think I would just ignore this one.
If she is bedridden and all, how is she going to wear new expensive designer items? Unless it is a nightgown or something....
Normally I give folks the benefit of the doubt, but this one just feels wrong to me.
Plus the husband can always open up an account and bid for her. I would just stay out of it, but that is just me for today.
posted on June 4, 2001 11:03:18 AM new
I'm pretty sure my guilt is gone.
The exotic dance apparel for the sick pregnant wife and all of the bidding action, kind of took something away from the sob story.
I'm thinking ignore the e-mail, unless someone can "show me the light"!!
I'm glad to learn that you all interpret this as I do...
Maybe I'm not jaded, pessimistic, and numb afterall!
(ummm.....or maybe you guys are, too!!)
I don't believe the story. If she is preggers, then why is she shopping for clothes unless they it is maternity wear?
I know my size changed after my first was born. (actually needed a smaller size!).
Just say "sorry, business is business, payment has not been received and I need to recoup some of my fees. Neg can not be removed". Then cease all contact.
posted on June 4, 2001 11:10:46 AM new
Zoomin...only you can decide if you believe the story or not but don't base that decision on whether a pregant woman would be buying exotic dance outfits....remember pregnancy is a temporary condition and pregnant woman do make plans about what they will do AFTER the baby is born. She may be into dance and intends to continue after her baby is born and therefore could easily be buying such merchandise to be used once she is back to normal
posted on June 4, 2001 11:25:37 AM new
Hi Amy!
I think my gut was saying "if she has been in the hospital, why is she bidding at all". The exotic dancer stuff was just ironic. Thanks for the input, though! I'm still trying to see the light!
Had to giggle at your choice of words!! I have been "abnormal" twice with this "temporary condition" and made extensive plans for my return to "normalcy". I just never made it back. ;o) teehee
Actually, ironically (again!), my second ID is exclusively maternity auctions.
toollady:
I appreciate your input.
With all due respect, please refrain from repeating that you shrunk a size after your child was born Even my feet grew! sheesh!
I haven't posted FB yet, I have 30 days to think about it while she is suspended.
posted on June 4, 2001 11:27:37 AM new
Don't feel guilty... apparently bidding is one of her favorite things but paying is not! Remaining NARU will save other sellers from the same fate. If she's so sick and pregnant that she can't manage to send payment for the items she's bidding on, she shouldn't bid.
posted on June 4, 2001 11:35:37 AM new Rainy LOL!
What is the fun in bidding, then?
What excitement is there to winning when there is no prize?
How can this be a favorite thing?
I'm so confused.
Is this a form letter that they sent out to everyone who npb/fvf'ed them?
After 1300 transactions, why do I care?
Should I care?
Am I supposed to ask how old she was on her birthday?
Should I order flowers?
chocolates?
send a private nurse?
I never even asked "how are you" and I got this info. If I ask, will they have her MD call me?
oh man. mebbe I need to go find a ramble thread.
Too much coffee.
sorry
posted on June 4, 2001 11:56:23 AM new
I have a thought....maybe the exotic dance attire was either for himself or another "third party"!!!!!!!! hahahaha......Actually, I haven't sold anything for awhile, but when I had someone like this, here's what I did. I contacted other sellers whose auctions ended about the same time to see if this person paid them yet. It seems they never minded me getting in touch with them because the same person hadn't paid them yet either. That's about the biggest clue I think a seller can get!! I would relist the item, you could probably get more for it anyway, since you mentioned this person got a good deal. Good Luck!
posted on June 4, 2001 12:10:02 PM newzoomin I would tell this person that you will be happy to remove the FVF when you receive payment. I don't know if you take Paypal, but if you do he can obviously pay immediately and have the eBay warning removed. It's really as simple as that IMHO.
posted on June 4, 2001 12:19:08 PM new
Zoomin..well it is a "temporary condition"..only problem is the results of that Temporary condition is permanent and sometimes you wish the pregnancy had been the permanent condition!
If you can't guess..right now I am totally peeved at the result of one of those temporary conditions that occurred to me 27 years ago...son has made me think "gads, why did I EVER have children!"
Although it is possible her bids were entered before she went into the hospital (proxy)...I would tend to turn a very jaundice eye on her/his excuses.
posted on June 4, 2001 12:22:59 PM new
creativethings&nowwhat:
I relisted the item as soon as I filed the FVF. I'm wondering, though, if I should block her bids so I don't end up in the hole twice from her! It looks like she hasn't bid in two or three days.
I'm a bit anal when it comes to eBay ~ immediately sending EOA, posting feedback right away, shipping within 24 hours, filing NPB's, relisting. It's too time consuming for me to do it any other way.
IMHO, a great deal is fine, but you have to pay me for it! I'll be thrilled if it goes for more, but, if not, I'll be thrilled to get paid and send it on it's merry way!
Cash flow + the empty spot where the widget was = time to shop.
My favorite time of day (besides cofee time)!
only ZOOMIN here
posted on June 4, 2001 12:30:06 PM new
Amy:
You must be pretty peeved ~ I can't think of anyone who would want to be pregnant for 27 years!!!!!! I hope it gets better for you!
BTW, proxy's not an option here. According to DH's e-mail, she's been in the hospital for a few weeks while the auctions have started and ended.
Unless maybe she is one of those magical people who can eBay in her sleep from her hospital bed?
Somehow through her dreams.
Maybe I can try the same osmosis to reach her for payment.
OMG!
What a horrible idea I just had!
Do you think maybe I'm jealous about someone fitting into exotic dancewear after giving birth?
Nope.
Just tired of stories, I think.
posted on June 4, 2001 12:36:03 PM new
I was just in a similar situation with a bidder of mine. The auction ended back in April, and all through May I sent the standard 2nd notice, 3rd notice, and NPB reminder. All I got was "I'm sending it! I'm sending it! It's in the mail!" etc. Nothing arrived.
Finally I had to give her a definite deadline, June 2. Then she wrote me back this big elaborate story of how her husband had died several weeks before, how he had had a girlfriend who stole his ATM card and took all the money out of the bank, and on and on and on.
I peeked at her bids over the last 30 days ... I guess her deceased husband came back and told her to bid on 400+ auctions.
June 2 rolled around, and I filed for credit, and moved on.
posted on June 4, 2001 12:38:32 PM new
This reminds me of the last time I got the "sick in the hospital" story from a bidder. I gave him almost an entire month to pay for his $21 item, then negged and relisted. Second time around it brought $140, and I'm not kidding. If I could turn back the hands of time the first guy would be getting a positive for deadbeating!
posted on June 4, 2001 12:44:53 PM new
PIMP loosecannon!
New feedback system is on the way...
can't wait til deadbeats get follow up responses like that!
Glad you did well on the relist!
I'm at $58.99 right now with two days left on the auction. Maybe the relisting karma will ruboff!
only ZOOMIN here
posted on June 4, 2001 01:29:03 PM new
One positive comment....she may be bidding on a laptop from her hospital bed! No excuse for non payment, though. Hubby could send the check. The reason I say positive comment is because friends daughter is in hosp for 7 weeks, in bed due to preg complications, but she could use a laptop from her bed if ya know what I mean. I had a similar problem, only the lady "had a stroke". I waited over a month, thinking, yah! Right!...with several emails, no repsonses, blah blah blah, finally left neg, contacted her "one more time" only to be anwered by her DAUGHTER that: she WAS in the hosp, her computer had crashed, they had all these EBAY packages coming in, and it took them that long to get it all figured out. Long story short, I recieved the payment (over $200.00) they recieved the magazines, (plus some extra as an apology from me) and all was well in the end. The poor lady never did fully recover, then I really felt like crap!!!
posted on June 4, 2001 01:39:22 PM new
Maybe the exotic dance wear and naughties are for a little something the husband has on the side!
I don't see a pregnant woman ordering exotic dance apparal. I know when my sister was preganant and even now 4 months later, she is pretty much a sweat pants and sweat shirts sort of lady.
posted on June 4, 2001 02:23:49 PM new
His story doesn't sound right to me either. And one other thing, just YOUR one NPB & FVF filings couldn't get her NARU'd could they? She/he would have to have done this to others as well to get NARU'd for being an NPB...
posted on June 4, 2001 02:32:18 PM new
Adrian:
I like your idea!
The "Your identity has been compromised" approach!
If she comes back from suspension, though, she will probably neg me.
oh well.
shark:
No, she wouldn't be NARU from just me. More than likely mine was the third that suspended her.
Since she has become NARU, however, no one (myself or others that have been burned) can neg her for their auctions. She will also not appear in the Feedback Forum as a comment waiting to be left. That usually reminds sellers to get the NPB/FVF process going. bummer
oops ~ rambling again. Time for decaf!
[ edited by zoomin on Jun 4, 2001 02:09 PM ]
Rainy LOL!
