iluvladybugs
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posted on August 30, 2001 08:04:55 AM
Well it happened again today, someone said to me "its too bad that you can't get a REAL job". Why should I have to defend myself against someones judgement of what a REAL job is.
I work REAL hours, and I make REAL money! I'm here to put my kids on the bus in the morning, and I'm here when they come home.
I was just wondering if anyone else has this happen to them, and what is a good way to respond without getting defensive?
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bunnicula
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posted on August 30, 2001 08:07:29 AM
Just tell them that you *do* have a real job. That's not monopoly money you're getting from buyers. No need to be defensive at all.
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Triggerfish
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posted on August 30, 2001 08:07:54 AM
How sad! Obviously that person is jealous to have to live through the drudgery of a "real job" while you have the freedom to work for yourself on your own schedule. Just gotta feel sorry for them I guess.
On the other hand, I would probably have said something that starts with an F and ends with a U... 
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joycel
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posted on August 30, 2001 08:09:03 AM
Short and to the point: "I do have a real job." No need to elaborate or explain yourself. If all you say is that--just watch them start to sputter and squirm because they know they stuck their foot in their mouth.
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katiyana
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posted on August 30, 2001 08:24:21 AM
This is probably one of those people who don't think a housewife/stay at home mom is a "real job" either.
I have both a real world job AND my online auction job which includes handmade craft items which I made - so its like having 3 jobs for me - keeps me TERRIBLY busy but its fun.. .
I agree, either blow em off or say "I have a real job" and move on.
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mballai
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posted on August 30, 2001 08:28:00 AM
Pull a dollar from your wallet and have them do the same. Ask them which dollar is more REAL.
A REAL eye opener for the clueless.
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avaloncourt
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posted on August 30, 2001 08:56:56 AM
I agree completely with Triggerfish. I've had my share of "real job" comments. I think it's mostly jealously that you have control of what you do with your life and those people are at the mercy of their "superiors".
Just tell them that you have a better than real job because you are the boss. Ask them if they can tell their boss which hours they want to work this week.
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kiara
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posted on August 30, 2001 09:19:12 AM
Never defend yourself.
Just say that you do have a REAL job. Tell them that you would love to discuss it further but you have just discovered even more opportunities to make money and that you have to get back to work. While you say it, look enthused and smile, smile, smile.
If they really care about you they will feel good for you.
If they are jealous your comment will make them feel worse.
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roofguy
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posted on August 30, 2001 09:26:50 AM
Don't answer at all. Maybe put a puzzled look on your face, as if you're wondering what the problem might be.
Insecurity is the biggest menace to civility in daily life. The solution is to not play the game. Choose to not be insulted by a personal acquaintance. Ever.
If you have to answer, try to understand their concern. Are they concerned that you aren't making enough money, and imagine that you'd ask them for money if some emergency arose? Or something else? "I enjoy being cared for, but you seem concerned. What's up?"
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snakebait
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posted on August 30, 2001 09:28:48 AM
Tell them you are self employed and not a slavish drone of an evil machine. And tell them to have a little more respect when addressing the president and CEO of a successful online business enterprise.
Tell them someday if they smarten up you *might* hire them to pack your merchandise.
But first they better order kneepads.
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lswanson
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posted on August 30, 2001 09:37:37 AM
Does this "statement" have more to do with what category you sell in, than how you sell it? I've been selling on eBay for two years now and have never come across this problem.
Those of you who have been flamed, what kind of goods are you selling?
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outoftheblue
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posted on August 30, 2001 09:41:24 AM
Tell them the "REAL JOBS" are for those who lack imagination.
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lswanson
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posted on August 30, 2001 09:59:04 AM
Outoftheblue, careful what you say about those with "real jobs", they'll likely just as much offense as the posters here about not having real jobs. Real jobs put food on the table, pay for college education, hospital bills, and custody wars.
Perhaps we could borrow a term from academia, and call online auctions "nontraditional", that way no one gets riled.
Again, I ask those who get flamed in this manner, what kind of goods are you selling?
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MrBusinessMan
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posted on August 30, 2001 10:24:34 AM
Tell them that you sometimes consider getting a real job but you keep putting it off because you can't find a way to compensate for the pay cut that you would have to take.
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iluvladybugs
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posted on August 30, 2001 11:02:23 AM
Thanks, I feel better knowing that I'm not alone.
I started a few years ago selling childrens books to support my ebay buying.
Then my husband had back surgery, and now he can't work, so we made the decision for me to expand my ebay.
Just a few weeks ago we discovered live auctions. I can buy a tablefull of boxes of "stuff" for $2.00. It is really fun going through, and seeing what I got.
I can start everything at $1.00, and still come out ahead. So, I sell just about anything you could imagine.
I don't think that its what we sell, I think its the fact that we are home all day, and they are WANTING to be home all day!
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kraftdinner
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posted on August 30, 2001 11:28:54 AM
Great answer roofguy
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ezinkjetstore
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posted on August 30, 2001 11:34:16 AM
I wish I could get rid of my real job.
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outoftheblue
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posted on August 30, 2001 11:36:44 AM
lswanson
I wouldn't say that to the masses, however, a person who would be short sighted enough to say "its too bad that you can't get a REAL job" is obviously lacking imagination and deserves it.
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mrspock
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posted on August 30, 2001 11:40:31 AM
Whay do you really care ? If someone said to me "to bad you can't get a regular job " I would problably say "yes it is " and let it go at that.
spock here......
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misscandle
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posted on August 30, 2001 11:43:35 AM
Wow, this thread touched a nerve for me this morning. I have a "helpful" neighbor who is always trying to make me babysit full-time for her and her friends---so I'll have a "real" income. I decline because I don't want her bratty kids near my books and other stuff. My own bratty kids are bad enough. Granted, I'm still small time. But, I'm preparing for the jump into hyperspace in mid-September. Don't need no "real" job to hold me back.
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eleanordew
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posted on August 30, 2001 12:10:41 PM
lswanson: Perhaps we could borrow a term from academia, and call online auctions "nontraditional", that way no one gets riled.
That depends on what you want to consider "traditional."
It wasn't until about 200 years ago that most people didn't work for themselves, on their farm or in their homes. Until the Industrial Revolution, when technology really took over and self-employed artisans and craftsmen began to disappear, the "non-traditional" job was a factory job.
Isn't it ironic that it is technology that has allowed us to revert back to individually-owned, home-based businesses similar to those of our ancestors?
El
"The customer may not always be right, but she is always the customer."
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fishbowl
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posted on August 30, 2001 12:22:49 PM
The problem seems to be that if you're home all day people think you're not working or being productive, or dead in the bed!
I also have a very nosey "helpful" neighbor! She used to come up to my window for conversations. Now I keep the windows and blinds closed. So now she knocks on the door and asks if I'm alright. Or she needs a ride to the store! Or her little kid is outside my window carrying on a conversation with one of my cats!
The only way to get things through to some of these people is to say "Look I'm busy working!". No taxi service, errand running for you because you can't get off work, etc... If I have to be rude so be it!
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MrsSantaClaus
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posted on August 30, 2001 12:40:40 PM
I have a very simple answer:
"Cause I don't need one!" Then give them a sheepish grin and walk away ....
Keep them guessing.
It reminds me of when my parents got their new van. It is a beautiful custom one. Absolutely gorgeous.
My uncle didn't talk to them for six months!
Some people need to spend more time minding their own business ... and less time minding others
Best of luck to all of you ... and congratulations for discovering a "real" life instead of just a "real" job.
(I say this as I am about to re-enter the retail world) 
BECKY
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kept2much-07
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posted on August 30, 2001 12:56:29 PM
Some people need to spend more time minding their own business ... and less time minding others. I love that sentence, Mrs. Santa Claus. That's exactly why I quit my last job!
This is a real job, I'm my own boss deciding how much and when I want to work. And best of all I'm here for my family! No latch key kids here.
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petestreats
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posted on August 30, 2001 01:37:18 PM
"I'm ten times richer than my big brother Bob, and hes got a haircut and he has a REAL job" George Throughgood
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long_gone
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posted on August 30, 2001 01:57:47 PM
Greetings Earthlings,
Here's my favorite: Give a short, anemic patronizing chuckle and say "riiiiight....Hey, speaking of real jobs, I've been thinking of hiring someone to pack and ship and maybe do some typing.....you interested?"
edited to take out a comment about getting a haircut, Thorogood already covered that one!
[ edited by long_gone on Aug 30, 2001 02:04 PM ]
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dman3
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posted on August 30, 2001 02:22:25 PM
WOW,
I don't dp ebay full time but if I did and someone said to me "To bad you can't get a real job"
I would have to reply back and say I can get any job I want in theis world thats why I have the one doing now.
To work for your self is the true meaning of supporting yourself..
Not some rich company who's clock you must puch and bend side ways to keep on there good side that letting someone else support you in return they get to treat you as they please cause you live in fear of the loss of the pay check..
http://www.Dman-N-Company.com
Email [email protected]
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sadie999
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posted on August 30, 2001 02:42:23 PM
I tell people that being self-employed means my boss is a real b**ch, but I love her.
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honaker5
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posted on August 30, 2001 02:46:42 PM
Don't answer at all. Maybe put a puzzled look on your face, as if you're wondering what the problem might be
Who cares what they think? As long as you are making an honest living, supporting your family, and not negelecting your home life, who cares? You know it's a real job. Anyone who has never tried to do a "stay at home" business, while taking care of small kids, keeping house, making money, fixing meals, etc.... isn't qualified to say what a real job is!
Like someone else said, I wish I could quit my "real job" to work at home!
PS.... MrsSantaClaus Cause I don't need one!" Then give them a sheepish grin and walk away ....
Good answer! 
JMHO (as always)
Tim
honaker5 on ebay and elsewhere
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MAH645
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posted on August 30, 2001 04:03:37 PM
I would say.."I don't want a real Job because I would rather have a Real life, and this way nobody tells me about my lousy company spirit. Most companys think they own you when you become employed with them,and I have quit many a job because of it.Not only that nobody pays what I can make at home.
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