posted on July 1, 2002 09:37:56 PM
Guess I have had a snootful today...seems like since 9/11 the nasty level has risen exponentially! The latest is a customer to whom I shipped the wrong item...this is a $4 item....I emailed her and told her to return it and I will send the correct widget and refund her return postage. I get in return email from her a diatribe that literally sizzled with rage and accusations of cheating her. You know what..I emailed her back and told her keep the wrong widget gratis, I am sending her the correct one... Guess I just want to try shaming her out of her rude behavior and it was worth $4 to see if I could! Would LOVE to hear how others are dealing with the increased stress levels from customers that show up as difficult/rude/unreasonable behaviors?
posted on July 2, 2002 12:52:06 AM
I had a customer who bought an item for his brother. All through the process, from bid to receipt of item, I had to deal with both the winner and the brother. Now there is a problem with the item and both are emailing me. I find that when my polite manners run out (which can happen fairly quickly, depending on the situation), I just don't reply.
You can't control the other person's actions, and many are simply looking for a fight. If a bidder can't tell that a seller is honest by looking at a 5,000 feedback rating, then what's the use of stating the same in email?
posted on July 2, 2002 06:10:16 AM
I try to "kill them with kindness"...if that fails, I just blast them with all the venom I can spit. I will not have these psychos harassing me anymore. I won't trade my self respect for $5.00.
posted on July 2, 2002 06:25:21 AM
Sorry, susiegirl, but you didn't shame her. Instead, you taught her that nastiness pays. Rag on a seller enough and they'll give you free stuff.
Some people have no shame, so there's no shaming them.
posted on July 2, 2002 11:10:52 AM
I cringe when I start to read a vituperative email from a customer who feels wronged and has decided I am the root of all evil in the world. I have been in retail for 12 years and have sold on line for 7 years. I see only one difference in the volume of nasty people and I will get to that point shortly. About 90% of my online customers are neutral, 9% extra nice, and 1% nasty. Of that 1% nasty, when I call them on it, 99% come back and tell me they weren't being that way...I took it wrong, "That is sooooo unlike me". In other words, they don't even have the courage of their convictions or they are using words instead of a baseball bat to coerce my behavior (but they aren't abusers). Sometimes, seeing into their heart via email, I think I would prefer the bat. I let them have that so we can work out the problem. That handles 99%. Of the 1% who remain nasty, I kiss their butt to give them whatever they want to minimize the time I have to spend fixing a problem when I have hours of work to do and then blacklist them. I mess up, well all do. I owe the person a fix. I don't owe them a place to dump all the bile in their life. The Surgeon General of the US a few months back said on TV, in a plea for more attention to mental health, that 25% of the people in the US are certifiable. Do any of us doubt it?
9/11 is used as a watershed date that supposedly had an impact on behavior. What I have seen is that people integrated the event into their personal outlook on life. I see very few people in my world who changed their behavior in the least because of 9/11. I am sure things are different around the country. In stores, I just toss them out and ban them. The customer is right until they cross the line into personal attacks. It has never in 12 years hurt my business. Problem behavior is well known to others these people know. They have probably tossed them out, too. The difference I mentioned when I started this is that online people have the anonymity of the keyboard which allows them to say things they would never dare say to your face. But I think sometimes they aren't even talking to me. They are just spewing the pain, hurt, and self-loathing that is at their core out into the stratosphere using a keyboard and the incident as an opportunity. The good news...as a syndicated columnist recently noted, is that people today all feel that they are much more important than they used to be and behavior is only going to get much, much worse before it gets any better. So I enjoy these good times while I can.
posted on July 2, 2002 11:34:50 AMtwinsoft:"I find that when my polite manners run out (which can happen fairly quickly, depending on the situation), I just don't reply.""
As usual, I'm in agreement with you. I too have found this the best solution. I believe it's called the 'high road'.
kyms:"I try to "kill them with kindness"...if that fails, I just blast them with all the venom I can spit. I will not have these psychos harassing me anymore. I won't trade my self respect for $5.00."
But when you 'blast them with all the venom you can spit', you are trading your self-respect, and not even for $5.00. When we let these people cause us to act the way they act, then they have won, and their way of thinking and acting becomes more common and thus, more acceptable.
drivingmetodrink: Your post should be required reading.
[ edited by gc2 on Jul 2, 2002 11:37 AM ]
posted on July 2, 2002 01:45:17 PM
I think in this situation, the less you say, the better.
I would give them their lousy $5 gidget and hope they choke on it. Just email them back telling them that you are sending the correct item, sorry for the inconvenience.
Immediately put them on your blocked bidder list and block their emails. No matter what you say at this point will only embolden them and will hurt your position.
Keep records (hard copy) of everything for a while until you're SURE it has blown over - like for 6 months.
Isn't it funny how all the hassles come about over items worth very little?
[ edited by eyegun on Jul 2, 2002 01:46 PM ]
posted on July 2, 2002 02:00:57 PM
Let me illustrate the opposite of your problem. Some time ago I sold 4 copies of "Janes Fighting Ships" Each was a different yr. I sold them to 4 different buyers. Guess what? I mislabeled 2 of them. The first one emailed me & said he received the wrong book. Now, I am in a quandrey, how many did I label wrong & where are they? I asked No 1 to return the book, I refunded all of his costs including all shipping. He emailed that if I ever got it all straightened out let him know as he still wanted the book. When I got the book back from him, I knew where to look & found out it was just the 2. I got everything straightened out & kept my customers happy by eating all of the shipping costs. The point is, that no one got nasty & they certainly could have.
posted on July 2, 2002 02:35:49 PM
The buyer is real insecure and feeling powerless. She's using a defense mechanism to scare you away, just like a cat will arch its back and hiss at you if it is scared and powerless, and trapped in a situation.
My cat did that to me. He was bit on the tail by another cat so he was being unfriendly and scared of anything that moved, for a few days. I ignored his hissing, and slowly approached non-threatenly, reached out my arm and started petting him on the back. It worked.
With a customer you can send an email, "Hello, sorry for causing any inconvenience, the correct item will be mailed today."
If buyer then sends nasty email, "sorry to see you are still angry. You have been rude. Item was mailed today and you can expect it next Monday."
If the person continues being mean, Avoid any further contact. Tell them to stop emailing you or you will report them to their ISP for email abuse.
