posted on April 25, 2004 09:27:34 AM
Maybe it's just me, but I'm seeing a big upswing in trivial email. Not spam; this stuff comes from bidders and buyers.
These messages are the email equivalent of just-killing-time cellphone calls.
I get over 1,400 legitimate emails a day. As many as 1,100 of those (I'd have to count to be sure but that seems right) have no useful purpose.
I get the sense that all over America, there are people sitting in front of computer screens at work, bored, who have run out of friends and acquaintances to pester by forwarding chain email, so they absolutely-right now-fricken' need to know the status of their $1.30 eBay item. If that mail isn't answered in 30 seconds, it's followed by another, more impatient one within 20 minutes, subject being "2ND REQUEST!!! IMMEDIATE RESPONSE REQUIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!".
Some perspective is sorely needed.
I think I'm going to have to write a blurb on email handling and put it on my AboutMe page.
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Answers to Questions Nobody Asked, #39:
Swingline never made a red stapler before the video release of the cult classic "Office Space". However, due to demand among cubicle-bound employees, it now offers one on its Web site.
posted on April 25, 2004 10:03:19 AM
Ah Geez, Fluffy! I was about to write you a note to let you know how much I've enjoyed a recent purchase from one of your auctions. The piece is, indeed, a nice piece and I've worn it daily since receiving it. My daughter, visiting over Easter break, liked it so much I'm going to have to reorder from you.
Now you tell us you don't want all that email? BUMMER!
You know I'm teasing you, right?
But...the above is true. I am very pleased with my purchase and to think I found your auctions through this forum.
Amazing isn't it? I work for the Weather Service, and you wouldn't believe how many people obsess about the weather. I get a number of phone calls every day from people that just seem to want to chat. I feel bad when I have to cut them off, but I've got a lot of work to do! Just a part of doing business I guess...I imagine you'll run into those types no matter what you do.
"Who's tending the bar? Sniping works up a thirst"
posted on April 26, 2004 10:26:20 AM
I just got a call from a customer who said she had emailed me several times with no response. I apologized for that, but pointed out that we are totally swamped with email from:
1) People who haven't bid yet who can't be bothered to answer their own question by reading the entire auction. Really, folks, all the info is there. In black and white, even.
2) People wanting constant status updates.
3) "Have you shipped yet?" from people who have forgotten that they mailed me a check and that them -> me transit time is not instantaneous. It can take a week to arrive, or longer.
What I need is a good way to quickly differentiate the customers-in-genuine-need-of-assistance from the would-be bidders who don't read. I don't feel a need to respond to that latter bunch.
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Answers to Questions Nobody Asked, #9:
Venezuelan Beaver Cheese: Referred to in Monty Python's "Cheese Shop" sketch, is presumed to be entirely fictional. However, various recipes for Venezuelan Beaver cheese have in fact been published. The active ingredients generally include beaver milk (Venezuelan beavers apparently preferred, though Venezuela has no native beavers), rennet and salt.
[ edited by fluffythewondercat on Apr 26, 2004 10:27 AM ]
posted on April 26, 2004 10:41:58 AM
This is really a puzzle to me.
Our auctions are set up so that ideally, no one ever has to send email to anyone else. The end of auction invoice is generated automagically moments after the end of the auction. I don't need the contact from the winning bidder, or the note that says they've sent payment (which is sometimes a falsehood anyway). Just send the payment, thankyouverymuch.
That's it. That's all that's required. I get the payment, I ship, you receive it and everyone is happy without anyone's having to deal with email.
Obviously the reality is way different.
Any ideas?
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Answers to Questions Nobody Asked, #72:
John Cleese's original family name was Cheese. His father changed it prior to joining the army during World War I.
posted on April 26, 2004 10:42:23 AM
Right, fluffy! The ones that irritate me the most are from "friends" who think I need to read the latest inspiring, tear-jerking spam message, usually about a small child and God, or some such thing, and then they want me to PASS IT ON TO MORE SUCKERS!--for good luck and to get my wish fulfilled upon passing it on to at least 10 more poor souls. Don't they have anything better to do with their time? Their lives must be emotionally bereft.
___________________________________
Sniping works up a thirst"