posted on December 5, 2004 03:23:42 AM
"Avoiding Disaster: My Guide to Online Auction Warning Signs
==========================
By Julia Wilkinson
Online auction buying and selling activity is kicking into high gear as we move into the holiday season. Many of us know what to look for in an auction to increase the likelihood of a smooth transaction: clear selling terms, good photos, stated refund policy, understandable shipping info. But what about things you don't want to see?
I've been looking at a lot of auctions lately, and here are my "Warning Signs for Online Auctions"!
**1. Padded shipping.** (And I don't mean with bubble wrap.) This might start off innocently enough: "Beautiful crystal bud vase - only $0.99!"
But scroll down a bit and you see: "Shipping will be $49.99."
The cost of the shipping can be many times the cost of the item itself. In this case, the shipping cost may be justified if the item is located abroad...as in, Mars!
**2. Cranky seller syndrome.** (Aka "CSS". This seller may be a tad bitter, having been burned in the past by flaky buyers who ignore his terms. You may want to avoid this type of auction like the plague:
"I do NOT accept PayPal. I HATE PayPal. PayPal is the cause of the decline of Western civilization. In fact , do not use the words "Pay" or "Pal" in a sentence to me, EVER."
"NO personal checks. I HATE personal checks. Especially I hate personal checks with those stupid designs on them."
"NO international shipping. That means NO FOREIGN COUNTRIES! As in ACROSS the BORDERS!"
"Did you HEAR that, you MAGGOTS? I said NO CHECKS!! Now DROP and give me TWENTY!!"
This seller may benefit from joining a Secret Santa program on one of the eBay boards.
**3. Iffy Delivery Policies.**
"I only ship Tuesdays, Fridays, and Groundhog Days. Oh wait, Tuesdays I have yoga."
Or perhaps, the even more vague:
"You should receive within anywhere from two days to three years."
**4. Packing and/or Handling Inflation. **
"Shipping will be $3.85. Packing will be $4.85. Handling will be $5.85, or $0.05 per packing peanut I have to pick up. If the packing peanuts really piss me off, I reserve the right to jack up the fee another dollar or two."
As a matter of fact, I'd avoid sellers who say they use packing peanuts - they're more likely to have Cranky Seller Syndrome.
Poor spelling is not necessarily a cause for concern. And English doesn't have to be perfect for foreign sellers; after all, they must know enough to have figured out the rest of the auction process. Or, probably they do, anyway. However, whatever guarantees of authenticity you can obtain are useful. Some items just seem...
**5. Too Good to be True.**
"Genuine Tang Dynasty horse statue. AD 618. Carve very nice. Own by Napoleon George Washington, and Madonna. Come with genuine Kate Spade bag. Own piece of history...only 99 cent!!!"
Oh, and the shipping is $139.99.
**6. Reflecto-Art.**
This is where a seller takes a photograph of a shiny item they're selling, and they are...er, reflected in the photograph holding the camera. Hopefully, they're wearing something in the picture. If not, you may know more about your seller than you necessarily...er, wanted.
But seriously, there is a vast quantity of wonderful items out there for great prices. But if you feel Cranky Seller Syndrome coming on, get thee to a Secret Santa board."
posted on December 5, 2004 03:37:48 AM
But wait, there's more!
People like this give our town a bad name
"Couple Allegedly Report Stolen Marijuana
December 3, 2004 10:15 p.m. EST
CALLAWAY, Fla. - Dude, where's my bud?
A Panhandle couple is under arrest after notifying police Thursday that their quarter pound stash of marijuana was stolen and that they needed the weed back, because they were going to later sell it.
"They're America's dumbest criminals," said Lt. Ricky Ramie, head of the Bay County Sheriff's Office narcotics task force.
Deputies arrested 18-year-old John Douglas Sheetz and 17-year-old Misty Ann Holmes and charged the duo with possession of marijuana with intent to deliver and possession of drug paraphernalia.
According to the police report, the couple returned to the home they share and found the home broken into and a quarter-pound of marijuana missing. They immediately called authorities to report the break-in and theft.
Police said the couple told them they were going to resell the marijuana and allowed the detectives to search the apartment. Investigators discovered several marijuana stems and numerous plastic bags to be used in the sale of the missing drugs.
They were taken to the Bay County Jail and are each being held on $17,500 bond."
posted on December 5, 2004 04:40:12 AM
"1. Padded shipping.** (And I don't mean with bubble wrap.) This might start off innocently enough: "Beautiful crystal bud vase - only $0.99!"
But scroll down a bit and you see: "Shipping will be $49.99."
The cost of the shipping can be many times the cost of the item itself. In this case, the shipping cost may be justified if the item is located abroad...as in, Mars!
**2. Cranky seller syndrome.** (Aka "CSS". This seller may be a tad bitter, having been burned in the past by flaky buyers who ignore his terms. You may want to avoid this type of auction like the plague:
"I do NOT accept PayPal. I HATE PayPal. PayPal is the cause of the decline of Western civilization. In fact , do not use the words "Pay" or "Pal" in a sentence to me, EVER."
"NO personal checks. I HATE personal checks. Especially I hate personal checks with those stupid designs on them."
"NO international shipping. That means NO FOREIGN COUNTRIES! As in ACROSS the BORDERS!"
"Did you HEAR that, you MAGGOTS? I said NO CHECKS!! Now DROP and give me TWENTY!!"
posted on December 5, 2004 05:39:34 AM
Classic - I had that exact thought regarding item #2...where IS fluffy anyway? I guess people finally lost respect for someone who constantly bashed just about everyone who made a comment on here.
posted on December 5, 2004 06:26:37 AM
Oh, I'm probably going to get another Honorable Mention (so, jump in the rest of you on the sh*t list), but you can find her here:
"Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have so many stupid leaders."
-Sloan Wilson
posted on December 5, 2004 12:16:33 PM$0.05 per packing peanut I have to pick up.If the packing peanuts really piss me off, I reserve the right to jack up the fee another dollar or two."
ROFLMAO oh my... I had Cranky Seller Syndrome the first couple of weeks of uses of them stick to your fingers,hair,clothing,rug...dog grabs one and runs with it to chew it up in the 2 seconds it takes to jump up and run after her packing peanuts I've now learned to pour them in and never touch them if I don't have to lol They need a class for them things ...Packing Peanuts 101 "The art of not touching" You can use one of the pink peanuts as a yo yo if it has enough cling going on (anyone that uses peanuts knows what I'm talking about)
posted on December 6, 2004 05:07:41 AM
Packing peanuts are funny little creatures. They seem to take on a life of their own. I've seen them dancing across the living room rug and have had them attached to my hair, clothing and arms. Now I dump them into a cardboard box (the plastic bags invite static) and spray them lightly with static guard. No problems! I no longer have remnants of dead peanuts decorating my floor.
What makes me cranky is the priority mail packing tape. It sticks to everything. I've had hair yanked out of my head because my long hair tends to get stuck in it. I've accidentally had it wrap around my finger and nearly cut all circulation off. My scissors are gunked up with the glue and have to be cleaned constantly. I now only use it when I have to. On the lighter side, it does a better job on temporary household repairs than duct tape.
Cheryl
"Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have so many stupid leaders."
-Sloan Wilson
posted on December 6, 2004 05:18:06 AMWhat makes me cranky is the priority mail packing tape. It sticks to everything. ........On the lighter side, it does a better job on temporary household repairs than duct tape.
But Cheryl... it smells like burnt rubber bands. Ewwww!
~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~
If it's really "common" sense, why do so few people actually have it?
. This seller may be a tad bitter, having been burned in the past by flaky buyers who ignore his terms. You may want to avoid this type of auction like the plague:
