posted on July 5, 2007 05:42:06 PM new
I'm so sorry you folks were concerned about me... I've kinda given up caring about feeBay, nor anything else lately, as my health problems and everything else has gone into the proverbial crapper...
There are so many kind and wonderful people on this board & I have a great deal of guilt and shame, and fear that some will write me off as a fraud or con man...
Ralphie has been a true blue trooper throughout...I don't deserve him and it's amazing how much he puts up with my bad days...I try to keep him on a schedule of 4 walks a day, but somedays I cannot get past 3 for a pretty silly reason...He is a GREAT dog, but, like most, he does have his quirks. We live on the 2nd floor, and he has no problem running UP the stairs, but I'll be darned if he'll learn how to go DOWN the stairs! Yeah, yeah, I know what yer thinking...But he just plain refuses to walk down the stairs! I've tried to teach him, but he backs up his butt until it's flush with the back wall, then plops down, staring up at me like he's saying: "Screw you, old man! YOU can pick me up, or I ain't budging!"
Ole CHUNKEY BUTT ain't exactly a petite BT at 27 pounds, and sometimes I can't face lugging him down the stairs...He's my best pal, but I don't give him the time and exercise he deserves... I really never should have gotten him to begin with; it will kill me to lose him...
I spent all day trying to come up with something witty and incisive to say today as THANKS for all yer concern expressed, but everything has gone to hell and I'm just tired of the fight. Ralphie says youse guys are the best, and I agree.
posted on July 5, 2007 05:50:36 PM new
Tom, you are NARU, what happened? I worry about you and Ralphie (stubborn little dog anyway to make you lug him down the stairs).
posted on July 5, 2007 06:25:31 PM new
Tom and Ralphie, well you both should know that no one on this board would ever think of you as con-men! Especially not me. You've helped me through a few bumps here and there especially when I first got Buddy and couldn't handle him. You were also great when Summer died. I think, too, that we can all relate to eBay woes. It's on a downward slide.
You have my email address should you need anything. I don't live anywhere near, but I'll do what I can!!
posted on July 5, 2007 06:37:27 PM new
Tom I wish I lived on your side of town. I don't have a car or I would come help when I could. Do you have a neighbor that could help once in a while.
Email me and I'll give you may phone number so you can call if you need to talk. I'm always here.
Are you really NARU now. How did that happen?
posted on July 5, 2007 06:40:19 PM new
a cascade of disasters...one after another...Ralphiespeak for idiot Tom couldn't pay his eBay fees and was booted off...
posted on July 5, 2007 08:28:00 PM new
Things are pretty bad on Ebay,for those who are not using credit card to pay Ebay,their selling limit has been slashed from $500 to $200.
Ebay is also monitoring high volume sellers,placing limits on them,asking them to balance their listings with their feedback .
I think some sellers are attempting to list many items which end on the same day or in a few days,pocket the cash proceeds of those sold and then disappear without paying their bills by either closing their bank account or cancelling their credit cards.
*
Lets all stop whining !
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posted on July 6, 2007 04:18:58 AM new
SO sorry for your misfortunes... i cannot understand why the military doesn't take better care of our vets!!! ...makes my blood boil.
posted on July 6, 2007 05:14:40 AM new
So sorry to hear about your problems Tom, I hope you can get things sorted out with eBay.
I don't agree that you should not have got Ralphie in the first place, he has been a wonderful companion for you. Living in pain every day also, I know that sometimes the only thing that gets you out of bed, is knowing that you have pet to take care of. I am wondering if any of this will help Ralphie get over his fear of going downstairs.
"Perhaps past experiences led to the dog to associate steps with something unpleasant, frightening and/or hurtful. Perhaps the dog was yelled at for going up or down a stairway, or had fallen down stairs during his formative weeks, or was pushed down steps. Or the dog recalls that steps once led to a place in which he was frightened. Reward her for making baby steps - any show of progress, no matter how small. Slowly introduce treats and, of course, verbal reinforcement into the training scenarios. Besides food treats, positive reinforcement tools include playing with your dog and providing a favorite toy for quick romp sessions.
You can use tasty treats or a favorite toy as a lure, placing one on the "target" step as you work with your dog.
After the dog shows signs of comfort with approaching the steps, practice going up one step. Then turn and go back down the step. Practice this several times, praising the dog for any sign of progress and any sign of reduced anxiety.
Make sure you have several particularly high-value, appealing treats on hand. You want to give your dog the idea that contrary to being scary, or leading to a scary place, steps lead to good feelings and things...such as tasty treats.
Take care not to rush the process, or else you will risk a setback.
Be patient. You might aim to devote 2 or 3 days to working on each "step" (approaching the stairway, touching the first step, climbing the first step, climbing or descending a couple more steps, etc.).
When the dog is comfortable heading in one direction (such as down the steps), reverse direction...again taking things slowly. Note: many dogs are more scared of going down steps, so their people often start working with them on going up steps.
Another approach, which can be blended with the previous counter-conditioning strategy: instead of feeding your dog in the kitchen or wherever you usually feed him, put the dog's food bowl at the top or bottom of the stairway in your home, whichever is closest to the dog's regular feeding area.
When the dog exhibits comfort with eating in this new area, move the food bowl to the first step. As soon as the dog seems relaxed and accepting and willing to eat at this step-side spot, move the food bowl to the next step. Keep going, gradually, so that the dog will learn that the steps are not a scary place after all.
Here's another technique. While we do not advocate forcing a dog up or down steps, some dogs will respond to a combination of firm physical encouragement and happy talk, which conveys to him that you, the leader, are not at all afraid of the steps and to trust you. Before attempting this exercise, teach your dog to move forward in response to the command "heel" or "let's go" in a nonthreatening situation, such as when out on walks. For the stairway exercise, place the dog in a harness, so that you are not pulling on his neck. Firmly grasp the harness at the point between the dog's shoulders. Then, use the command "heel" or "let's go" and descend the steps with your hand on the harness, firmly navigating the dog down the steps by your side. Move steadily forward, without pauses, so that your dog doesn't have a chance to contemplate his anxiety.
As you descend together, praise your dog verbally (GOOD DOG!), then provide a treat at the bottom of the stairs. Work to keep your dog's eyes focused on you, and not on the steps or the space beyond you. A key goal is to help your dog learn to trust you, and to help him realize that you're not going to let him get hurt. Repeat several times. If the dog continues exhibiting fear, follow the first technique described above.
After the dog becomes comfortable going down the steps, reverse direction.
Liz Dietz shares this smart technique that helped her foster dog, Bubba. Having always lived in a single-story house, Bubba didn't know how to navigate stairs. When Liz first took him to her home, instead of descending her back deck steps to do his business, he jumped off the top step. "When it came time to get back into the house, I couldn't get him to go up the stairs," said Liz.
Liz came up with a great idea. To disguise the steps, she draped a blanket over all of the steps of the staircase. "With a little encouragement, Bubba stepped on the blanket rather gingerly but made his way right up," recalls Liz. This visual trick worked.
She needed to use the blanket only three or four times before he was willing to climb the stairs without it. Stepping down the stairs came more gradually, but he learned.
Liz's back deck steps presented what some dogs would perceive as an additional challenge: the stairs were built without vertical panels, so you can see through the staircase. "This might have scared or confused Bubba, but with the blanket there, he couldn't detect any puzzling patterns."
You may have tried these methods, but if not, I hope they can help.
posted on July 6, 2007 07:55:21 AM new
Tom, I want to add my thoughts to the others. I was hoping you were just too busy to post. There is life outside of the eBay Outlook I know. So sorry that you are having so many problems and hope you can find a way back from what sounds like a bad situation.
I can not really offer words of wisdom about your life in general because I do not know know enough to help. I can however relate to your problem with Ralphie and the stairs. Our Lacy was found on the street at about six months old by a colleague of my husbands. She came to us as a bundle of wired energy, a truly wild child. The first day we left her in the house alone her barking set of the glass break sensor on our alarm and the neighbors and the police had to track us down to come home.
We have a circular iron staircase from the ground floor to the lower level of our house. At first she would not set a foot on it. We sit there at night to watch TV and she would stand at the top and bark and moan because she always wanted to be with us. For the first few weeks my husband carried her down. We tried several things before we hit on the solution in the post above. We would take her favorite treat and hold it just out of reach below her till she stretched out to get it. We would then move to a lower step and hold it till she came to get it. For some time we had to pick her up and carry her when she froze on the stairs but finally she would come when we held the treat at the bottom.
Now that she is older and suffering from arthritis and Cushing's she can still go up and down by herself when she takes her time.
I am sure it is the pain that is talking when you say you should not have gotten Ralphie. From your posts about him I suspect he has kept you going at times when giving up may have seemed the easiest solution.
Best wishes for the two of you. Let us know how you are doing.
-----o----o----o----o----o----o----o----o
“The illiterate of the future will be the person ignorant of the use of the camera as well as of the pen.”
Maholy-Nagy, Vision in Motion, 1947
[ edited by photosensitive on Jul 6, 2007 07:57 AM ]
posted on July 6, 2007 07:30:34 PM new
I know what Tom means about Ralphie. I have the same thoughts. Why did I do it.
You can love a pet so much & you know that pet is only going to live between 10 & 16 years. After around 12 years you get scared thinking how many more years are left.
Tom knows that day will come & he knows the grief will come with it. The sadness is unbearable & then you think why did I ever set myself up for this, why did I ever get a pet. How am I going to go on without him.
posted on July 6, 2007 07:50:53 PM new
McJane, for years I prayed that it would be crystal-clear to me when the time came to part with my best friend. Thankfully, it did. He struggled 6 hours - I wish my neighbor who noticed it had notified me, I was preoccupied with my toddler - but he had a peaceful end with the help of my vet - who had put down his golden retriever a year earlier. My only regret is that my son remembers Sunshine as an old, arthritic dog. I remember him as an intelligent, sleek, playful and devoted friend.
posted on July 6, 2007 08:43:46 PM new
pixia, I wish I could accept the end that way. Sometimes I wish I didn't love animals.
I wish I could get over losing a pet, but it stays with me, keeps me awake sometimes. I feel guilt that I could have done something differently.
When I think of the good times I hurt even worse because they're gone.
I know I'm wrong, I know your right, but I can't change.
Cats & dogs just don't live long enough.
Believe me I know where Tom is coming from.
Ralphie is the dearest thing in his life & I find his love for that little guy one of the sweetest love stories I've ever known.
He is as close to his Ralphie as any mother is to her child & he faces the same fear of losing what he loves most.
Pixia, don't feel regret how your son will remember Sunshine. Because you loved Sunshine so much he will remember that much more than her being an old arthritic dog.
posted on July 6, 2007 09:12:38 PM new
It goes beyond pets. I loved my dad so much - he went slowly - long enough for us to say good bye yet never long enough ... I didn't want him to suffer longer, yet it was hard to say goodbye. Finally, now we remember the good times and feel blessed for the the years we had with him.
[ edited by pixiamom on Jul 6, 2007 09:12 PM ]
posted on July 7, 2007 02:37:15 AM new
Tom, I don't know how you manage with constant pain. I just got shingles a week ago and I am exhausted with the pain. I have pain pills but I can only take them every 6 hours, what a roller coaster ride that is. It takes an hour for them to kick in and then they wear off about 2 hours before I can take another one. I know the shingles pain is probably minor compared to what you have but I maybe can understand a little of what you are going through. Any news on new pain relief for you?
posted on July 7, 2007 06:08:44 AM new
Pmelcher, I can feel your pain! I had my first ever case of shingles in May. Did your doctor prescribe Lyrica? It was the thing that helped me most. It is important to catch it early. I am glad to say I have had no residual pain after the first month. Uh O! better find some wood to knock on! Hope your recovery is smooth!
Tom, have you tried the treats on the stairs with Ralphie?
-----o----o----o----o----o----o----o----o
“The illiterate of the future will be the person ignorant of the use of the camera as well as of the pen.”
Maholy-Nagy, Vision in Motion, 1947
posted on July 7, 2007 06:19:44 AM new
pmelcher try using an ice pack on the places where the pain is. My sister is in her sixth month with the shingles and just now to a managable one spot. The shingles was on her neck, shoulder, jaw and up the side of her face into her hair. She has suffered so much. Along with her VERY strong pain medicine (pills) and a patch for the worst places she used an ice pack. She said that helped cool it down and gave her some relief. She went everywhere with an ice pack.
Be sure and get the shot (expensive but worth it) after you get over the shingles.
posted on July 7, 2007 06:28:17 AM new
Thank you Ralphie!! I feel better all ready. I will ask doc about the patch if the pain keeps up after the blisters go away. Tonight I am going to get into hubby's Vicoden so I can sleep, Darvocet just isn't getting it at night. It is better in the daytime while I am up and moving around. The doctor put me on Valtrex which is an antiviral the first day. She said sometimes an antiviral if used within 48 hours of the rash breakout can shorten the duration. I'll check out Lyrica too. Thank you all for the advice and concern, I love this board of friendly and helpful people. Pat
posted on July 7, 2007 06:50:37 AM new
So sorry, pmelcher, I had Shingles in the 1980's. I don't recall getting anything for the pain, I was miserable!
posted on July 7, 2007 07:07:46 AM new
Thank you for reminding me about ice packs. I do that for the hour or so while I am waiting to take the next pill. I am fortunate in that it is not on my face, just on my body in front and back below right armpit. Now there is probably way more info than you ever wanted!! It is the pain talking LOL, at least I can still laugh!
posted on July 7, 2007 09:41:18 AM new
Shingles? I use Gold Bond Cream to keep them under control (also good for heat rash) and for ice packs, I use 1/2 cup water 1/2 cup alcohol in a GOOD freezer bag. Carry one when ever I need it, won't hurt anything if it breaks or leaks. Sometimes I double bag them and reuse the outer bag.
posted on July 7, 2007 02:19:57 PM new
Tom and Ralphie , glad to CYA!
I was soooo relieved the other night to see you had checkedin. I should have posted but was going to wait until morning -- it was late .
Well ya know how that goes...
Anyway glad you are talking again.
NO regrets about getting Raplhie!!! I am the biggest whust in the world over my doggies. I
just have one -Kobe now . He is about 8 years old . I always had two until I got him . My Princess died at 13 , afew months after her sibling Precious, said I was through.
BUT I got Kobe .
Before Princess and Precious , I had two other white poodles Candy and Cotton , they both lived about 14 years .
My very first dog was a collie Muffy and then an All- American (mixed culture) boy -Spike .
I do not remember ever from a child NOT having a dog .
Each one was the bestest and spoiled rotten.
Sorry to hear about your problems, I know it must be depressing . Please do not isolate ypurself, I think that may make it worse .
Hope you get your eBay account back --if you want it . You seem to have a good drop shipper. Many that drop ship have bad customers relations. Yours must ship quickly and carefully .
Ralphie sounds like you are being well fed -- over 20 pounds . Ya better cut back a little to retain your suave figure.
posted on July 8, 2007 11:02:42 PM new
Yes, it was great to hear from you, Tom -- and Ralphie darling.
I think Ralphie is a very lucky fellow to have you for a dad. No matter how long he's with you, you've been wonderful to him. I couldn't wish a better home for a pet.
The fact that we cry and mourn for lost loved ones, including pets, proves we're human--and able to give ourselves to another. It's normal to mourn. And I say that with hope that I can remember my own words if and when someone near and dear to me dies.
People who're unable to mourn are retarded in their emotional development - or worse.
_____________________
There is more to life than increasing its speed. --Mahatma Gandhi
