posted on August 30, 2007 03:12:26 PM
Ralphie & I have been tripping over some rough spots lately...Actually, ever since I was NARU'ed from feeBay (entirely MY fault, and I don't blame feeBay), the proverbial kaka has hit the fan...
Not sure how many here are aware of this, but the DEA & US GOV has essentially declared war on RX pain killers, and, over the past two years have scared the Dr's to such a point that many so-called "PAIN MGMT CENTERS" are changing their stripes over into "ADDICTION TREATMENT CENTERS" -- especially since SUBOXONE was approved for use in treating opioid addiction (heroin; percocet; vicodan; oxycontin are the most famous in this group)...
So, I was on DOCTOR-PRESCRIBED opiod painillers for the past 6 years for CHRONIC PAIN SYNDROME, but, my NEW Doctor decided to take me off them and (essentially blackmailed) put me on SUBOXONE treatment for "addiction" (well, of course I'm addicted, I've been on the suckers for 6 years). Which means that I no longer take pain killers for pain anymore...SUBOXONE allows one to STOP taking pain killers without going thru the unimaginable hell of withdrawal...Of course, since SUBOXONE itself is a partial-agonist opioid narcotic, eventually, one has to withdraw from it -- the hope is that SUBOXONE w/d is "easier" than w/d from narcotics...Maybe Yes / maybe NO: after reading the SUB boards for the past month, it doesn't look all that easy to me, but, I'll worry about that down the road. Right now, the SIDE-EFFECTS of the SUBOXONE are what is knocking me on my butt, as it causes me to suffer: EXTREME insomnia; EXTREME depression; EXTREME constipation; and its analgesic properties really suck, so most of my original pain (and then some) has returned with a vengeance, and my poor tummy can't really tolerate the 800mg MOTRINS anymore.
So, other than the return of the pain, the DEPRESSION has hit me the hardest. He wrote an RX for EFFEXOR XR, but, after reading up on it, the possible side effects scared me away. Last thing I need right now is a med with MORE side effects. I have ENOUGH as it is with the SUBOXONE. My PCP offered ZOLOFT as an alternative, but I may just try to tough it out with nothing...Like I say, I'm really sick of side-effects...
I hang around the board there, although it's chock full of some pretty sad stories. About 50% are HEROIN / METHADONE addicts; another 30% are pain killer ABUSERS; and only around 20% are like me...
Also, I've been throwing kidney stones lately, and this increase has me really worried, since the SUBOXONE blocks the action of virtually all painkillers, including MORPHINE. I usually average 1 KS per year -- my last BAD one was a year ago & it required an ER visit. Three mos ago I threw a mild one (NO ER visit), and now, over the past 4 weeks (since starting the SUBOXONE), I've thrown THREE! None required ER visits (I get kidney "cramps" first, & then 4-6 hrs later, out comes the BABY) so far, but it feels like it's only a matter of time before I throw a monster painful KS & then I may be really screwed. The Dr insists that DILADUD will be strong enough to overcome the blockade caused by the SUBOXONE, but I'm not convinced. Plus, I have to pray that I don't need any teeth extracted while I'm on this so-called "treatment" --
Ole chunky-butt's allergies are being controlled with his daily dose of HYDROXAZINE...If he doesn't take his med, he starts to WHEEZE terribly, especially since it's been in the high 90's here for the past 6 weeks...BUT, it seem that as one health problem clears, he gets smacked with another, and he now has the POOPS lately. I hate taking him in because EVERY tIME I do, the VET prescribes FLAGYL and Ralphie gets better in 2 days, but everytime we go near her (or any vet) for the same thing over and over, we get socked with a $150 bill! It's like this never-ending boondoggle: he wheezes & then clears; or he poops and then clears...Geez! Can't we get him A-OK all the time?
So, Ralphie and I are in pretty precarious financial condition...BUT: there is (thankfully) a light at the end of the tunnel! Some here may remember that I had a relative pass away back in Nov? It was my AUNT & she was my closest relative. In some ways, I was closer to her than my parents...She was very kewl lady: she had been a WAC back in WWII; she did post-grad study at UNIV of MEXICO CITY; and spent around 35 years teaching emotionally disabled kids. But, even though we were close, I was pleasantly shocked to be included in her will. Probate can end any time now, but no later than 9 months from now, and I estimate that I will receive (depending on stock prices) between $25,000 to $30,000. Which will enable to pay back my debts and move from here, because I cannot afford to stay here without my eBay hobby. Plus, I plan on getting some much-needed dental work...
So, once again, I come here to the EO and ask help from my friends here. I cannot keep bothering the same people who have been so kind to us over the past 3 months.
If anybody can help Ralphie & me, please do NOT send any moola.
I'm hoping that some of our friends here can LEND (at 5% interest) Ralphie & me some moola until I receive the proceeds from my Aunt's estate, like I said, it would be anytime, but NO LATER than 9 mos from now.
To be honest, I'm terrified of losing my buddy & getting thrown out before I can afford to move to a cheaper apartment. Losing Ralphie would be just about the final straw for me...
BTW: we are VERY LUCKY that we have ANY FRIENDS here. It is pretty amazing how kind many of the people we've met here have been to Ralphie & I over the past year. Of course, like all people, some don't particularly care for me, and that's OK. I just ask of those that they please don't tell me that I should be ashamed of myself...If I were not at the bottom I would never shame myself with this post.
posted on August 30, 2007 04:02:24 PM
Oh gosh, Tom sh*i just keeps getting slung at ya right and left. My brother has an addiction to Vicodin so I understand the pain killer addiction part. Sure wish I lived closer. I could come take your old lard butt out for walks and such. I know how hard it is to take care of another living being when you are ill yourself. It's tough. And, we all know that having a dog (or cat for that matter) is like having another child around.
I sure wish I could help. Unfortunately, I haven't seen a paycheck in over a month and eBay is just slow for me right now. I do have about three boxes of sports memorabilia to sell for someone so I'm hoping I get some income from that. This guy had a sports stand at a flea market that he's decided to give up. I don't know how I'm going to go through all the cards (football, basketball and baseball). Guess I'll sell them in lots.
I can't help you monetarily right now, but I can send good thoughts and blessings your way!
Well, THAT helps also...PLUS, you've helped me before, & THAT is greatly appreciated...
I'm NOT convinced that I have an ADDICTION problem...OBVIOUSLY, I have a PHYSICAL DEPENDENCE, since I've been on properly MD prescribed medication for six years...I think what I am now suffering from is: DOCTORS-WHO-ARE-SCARED-OF-THE-DEA SYNDROME...
posted on August 30, 2007 04:13:49 PM
Happy to help you out. Shall I send to your PayPal account on that email address???
Sorry you are having such health problems. Ur bowel bound and he has the shitz. What a pair you are :}
posted on August 30, 2007 04:16:33 PM
It's depressing, as the VET fixes his WHEEZING, only to have him get the POOPS -- but, she cures the POOPS, and he gets the WHEEZES...
posted on August 30, 2007 04:51:37 PM
Yeah, I was planning to pay eBay once I get the inheritance...I think my present seller name is dead for good, as I've let too much time pass...
NEVER get LATE with eBay, because things can SNOWBALL out of control very quickly...
Once yer late, eBay freezes your access to your account -- you can't even CLOSE DOWN your store...All yer allowed to do is to mail them a check! All along, you're racking up fees. Items can still sell out of your STORE, but you cannot START any listings or modify anything...
Once they NARU you, yer turned over to COLLECTION...That's why I think they may never allow me back...
I don't blame them...I just didn't sell enough to pay the bill...
posted on August 30, 2007 05:59:25 PM
Oh Tom and Ralphie, I am so sorry to hear of all the troubles. The most scary words of all are 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help'. It seems like whenever an 'agency' gets involved things get worse.
Hug Ralphie and have him give you a big kiss to help your 'boo-boo's', wish I could help more, just can't right now, Sorry.
posted on August 30, 2007 06:15:06 PM"The most scary words of all are 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help'. It seems like whenever an 'agency' gets involved things get worse."
Here's an interesting article from the RIGHT-WING MOONIE-OWNED "Washington Times:"
posted on September 1, 2007 04:32:59 PM
Ouch! There is a prevailing dark wind blowing across this board.
Tom - on Tuesday morning call the attorney that sent you the Probate Notice. Tell him your problem. Ask him if he knows of a lender who will advance you money, with the coming proceeds of your Aunt's estate as collateral. (There are lenders who do this.)
If he is unwilling or unable to help, go to a bank with the Probate Notice and explain your liquidity problem. If the banker is unable to advance you cash, he/she may know of someone who can.
Of course, open, uncollected accounts such as ebay, will have to be paid from any advance, prior to you receiving any cash from a lender.
Good Luck! Give your dog a hug, take a deep breath, and let us know what happens.
posted on September 1, 2007 04:41:12 PM
Just as an aside, deja vu and all over again are the same thing, it's like saying "all over again, all over again". Another pet peeve of mine is when people say "very unique", it's either unique or it's not, it's like saying someone is a little pregnant!
posted on September 1, 2007 05:32:01 PMBill: THANKS for the link -- I will check it out TUES. The probate could conclude any day now, but NO LONGER than 8.5 mos from now. Thus, I was hoping to find cheaper loans as opposed to going thru a company that will probably charge a fortune to make me a loan...IOW: if my share is only $30,000; and a loan company charges $5000 for an advance, I end up losing a huge amount (as a percentage) of money...But, I don't know WHAT they charge, but, I'm guessing that they charge a small fortune...?
Amber: the phrase "It feels like DejaVu all over again," is actually a famous quote attributable to Yankees catcher Yogi Berra who was famous for many such humorous malapropisms...
posted on September 1, 2007 08:34:50 PM
I know how the money problems thing feels. We have both of our vehicles in bad need of repair. I am trying to get them fixed on thing at a time and our income got cut last week as we lost two of our accounts. I am trying to list as much as I can in my E-Bay store and running as many auctions as I can for the next several weeks. We had a real good week last week and our store sales are picking up. If I get to desperate I guess I will go to the flea market some. I do have a good load of inventory as I bought all along when we had the money. My husband and I are like you Tom we have no living family that we are close to. But we have a ton of cats to make up for it! Hope things get better for ya. You too Cheryl.
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posted on September 1, 2007 10:21:59 PM
I wasn't going to reply to this post, but decided I would & I hope it's OK with you Tom because there are a few things I want to say.
Occasionally Tom & I exchange emails & Tom told me about the hard time he's going through. I offered to help, he didn't ask, I offered, in fact I had to offer more than once before he would accept. My guarantee of being paid back is my 100% trust in Tom & that I have & that's all I need.
And, if there are doubts there is a will or that Tom is in it, it does exist I saw it. He sent me a copy & he is among the heirs.
Tom didn't have to prove this to me, it's just something he wanted to do. I certainly didn't ask.
Tom has no natural children & very few family members to turn to, but he does
have this favorite aunt that remembered him in her will & until the day comes when the will is settled he needs help & he came here where he knows many of us care & why not come here.
It's a matter of survival for him & for Ralphie & I'm glad he had the courage to do what he did. It wasn't easy, but he had to do this & it came from dispair & from his heart. He's fighting health & financial problems & I'm going to stand by him. People helping each other is what it's all about & it feels so good to be there for someone else as special as Tom.
posted on September 2, 2007 06:16:06 AM
Bill, I agree. There is a dark prevailing wind over this board.
How cruel for some of you on EO to make unkind posts when this man is asking for help from the only group of people he feels he can turn to. Put yourself in his place and ask yourself how you would feel. Only in desperation would anyone ask for the help Tom has asked for.
As for Tom’s health and monetary problems, they are REAL and he is very embarrassed about asking for assistance. They don’t go away with a one-time donation. Until he finds a way to stabilize his income, he needs help to survive. Lets just hope and pray the Probate Court settles his Aunt’s estate soon. All he has to look forward to is his sweet little dog, Ralphie and I think it is the only thing that keeps him from jumping off a very tall bridge. Tom lives in pain constantly and still manages to take care of his beloved pet.
As Jane said, he is a special guy and is always ready to help, and cheerfully, when anyone on EO has a question that he has the answer to. I have been on this board for over 6 years and he was the one who came through the most when I needed help. There were no snide remarks about my stupidity or for asking “dumb” questions. He was happy to be able to reply and get me back on track.
We are all on this long trip together and if we can help our fellow man, then lets do it. That’s what life is really all about.
posted on September 2, 2007 06:29:06 AM
Tom, my best wishes to you and Ralphie. I wish I was in a position to help. We have a daughter and 3 small children trying desperately to hang onto their home and avoid foreclosure, and we are doing all we can on our limited income to help them.
I can't imagine how hard it is for you. It's hard enough to cope when you feel well, but when you are in pain and feeling unwell, it's a 100 times harder. Just hang in there, with your money coming in the future, you just need to get through the coming months until the probate is over. I hope there are kind people who will be able to help you out.I will be thinking about you both.
posted on September 2, 2007 06:52:26 AM
Well said, Jane!!! I know for a fact that when Tom says he's going to pay you back, he certainly does! Everyone needs a little help now and again and I hope that all of you that doubt Tom's integrity or sincerity never find yourselves in Tom's position because spurting out bad karma whether intentional or not brings bad karma. JMHO!
Hang in there Tom and Ralphie. Better days are ahead.
posted on September 2, 2007 08:00:14 PM
Although I agree with glassgirl on many of her points, the situation Tom finds himself in is so sad and complex,there are really no correct answers, if only there were.
I feel Tom should accept what ever we have to offer, be it advice, money, prayers, or good wishes, because in our own way we are all trying to be helpful. You will be in my prayers Tom. Though I don't know you personally, just reading your posts tells me you are a good kind person. May your inheritance come very quickly. I am so happy you are able to see a light at the end of the tunnel.
posted on September 3, 2007 01:07:24 PM
Oh geez, Ralphie! Think we really screwed up this time... To any here who were upset by my post, I apologize...
posted on September 3, 2007 02:19:40 PM
well I guess I pissed tomwiii and ralphie off as he refunded my PP payment - such as it was.
I meant it with the best intentions. I edited my post last night because I thought maybe that I wrote it in haste. After looking at it again in the daylight I still stand by it.
It's the cycle we need to get you out of. The downward spiral.
I know where you're coming from. I was there at one time. I'd lost my marriage because I had caught my DH of 13 years sexually molesting my daughter, my car had been repossessed, I'd had an operation on my knee due to abuse by my (then) exhusband and because of that I lost my job, and I had no money coming in and no hope of anything. I had met my (now) husband but he'd gone back to try "one more time" with his ex-girlfriend. I spent my 40th birthday in the local insane ward for trying to commit suicide or make a statement with my car keys on my wrists. I was about down and out as you could get. The only thing that saved me was a friend brought me over groceries and $50.00.
I still don't know how I made it through all that except when I was brought to my knees I realized that all my life I'd been looking outside of myself to be completed. And it was inside of me all along. It was only when everything was stripped away from me that I realized my strength. My power. And God's love.
And here is my post from last night which I edited.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I'm still trying to figure out why this topic is so W I D E
I love you tom (and Ralphie too). You know I do.
I understand where fluffy is coming from though.
It's somewhere along the line of "Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime."
I remember that fluffy suggested you sell your ebay name and your drop shippers but evidently that is no longer viable. She was on the right track however.
Whatever I put out there I do not want or expect back in monetary terms. From you or anyone tom - it's not about payback other than paying it forward.
The inheritance is a stopgap at most - is it not? I remember being poor and it seems like once you are in that place it is almost impossible to get out from under. It's almost like a vicious cycle when you get in that place.
Instead I would like for us to all come together to inspire you to realize from where your "source" really is. And I mean this in the best possible way. Really. And inspire you to a way to get out of that cycle. Maybe ebay - maybe not.
When I was in my deepest darkest place, somewhat like where you are now....I didn't realize it then but it was my greatest growing point. And THIS is what I wish for you. It is not what is coming from the outside in - but what is what you realize from the inside out. What I "thought" was my greatest salvation was not someone or something else - but myself and what I believed in.
You've made it this far so I know that you can do it again. It's probably not ebay but I know that you have something to offer to the world in some way. Maybe it's not learning how to give but how to take. Maybe it's just time to learn something about the pain medication. I know that's not what you want to hear at this point.
I just know that there is a gift in all of this for you. I know that I'm not saying this in the right way probably and that I'll probably put a few people (even maybe you) in an angry place but that's truly not what I intend. I just really want you to try and look at this in a different way than what you have been and for us all to come together and help you find a way out.
Focus on not what is but where you are going. What do you want? What do you REALLY want? How do you want to feel?
I know that for you I see health and security, happiness and well being. I know that for you I see that the love you have for your country and people and ralphie - this counts for something important. You are important.
