posted on February 28, 2008 04:03:25 PM new
I laughed so hard I cried. Particularly about the Free Toll number. It' scary - even though everyone is being funny it's not that far from the truth.
Everyone read this quick before ebay pulls it and believe you me they will.
posted on February 28, 2008 06:33:23 PM new
It's down now . It wouldn't hurt eBay to have a sense of humor at a time like this!
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posted on February 28, 2008 06:41:07 PM new
I copied it into an email and saved a draft....here is the gist without pictures...I'm lazy I just wanted to cut and paste...not re-create it. Unfortunately I didn't get the questions copied. By the time I clicked over to them it was gone. Poof.
Now Playing - STAR WARS ***** GET MY stars HERE Item number: 250220459119
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Current bid: US $28.00
Your maximum bid: US $
Place Bid >
(Enter US $29.00 or more)
________________________________________
End time: Mar-05-08 13:54:13 PST (5 days 21 hours)
Shipping costs: US $5.00
US Postal Service Priority MailŪ
Service to United States
Ships to: United States
Item location: Rocklake, ND, United States
History: 22 bids
High bidder: pellis3 ( 1018 )
________________________________________
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Starting time:
Feb-27-08 13:54:13 PST
Starting bid: US $0.99
Duration: 7-day listing
Payment methods: Money order/Cashiers check
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Meet the seller
Seller:
shwp1 ( 1918 )
Feedback: 100% Positive
Member: since Jan-16-00 in United States
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Score: 1918 | 100% Positive
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Description (revised)
This new program is designed to prevent waste through recycling.
It also facilitates sellers with discarding stars that they no longer have a use for.
PLEASE NOTE
Normally all 4 Stars are recycled as a set.
However, I have decided to retain the fully intact, Communication Star, for future use.
How else will I communicate with the voices in my head?
This auction includes :
1. Item as decribed Star
Let's see, what should I say about it?
Like new. No, almost like new. Well let's call it gently used.
hmmmm....wonder if I should mention the slight ding....
nah, they won't notice a little ding like that, when they get it.
It's kind of red...you know, like barn red...well maybe not exactly barn red...
oh heck, what's the difference, red is red.
Size? well it's on the small size, compared to some of the so called stars around here....
Worked last time I used it,
but that was before the boycott beginning of the month,
so not sure if it's still functioning?
Sold "as is"
2.Shipping time Star
Full of holes...need I say more?
3.Shipping and handling charges Star
One big gaping hole...sigh
I never did understand the thinking behind buying, then griping
T O S
also known as the .... Totally Omit Section
Contrary to the suggested practice of FREE SHIPPING
I prefer not to ship your item for free because :
a) it increases the amount of fees that I pay by including postage in with the item bid
b) it decreases the amount that I will actually get for these useless valuable stars
c) and, I don't plan on losing any more sleep over the fact,
that even if I offered FREE SHIPPING,
the blasted star would still end up dinged!
So, here's the deal.....
Buyer pays $5.00 for Priority Shipping to USA.
Unless of course, you'd like me to ship them a cheaper way....
say, Media Mail....
just keep in mind that they may take longer to arrive...
say 5-10 [years]
cause I'll be in the Federal Pen for mail fraud.
* * * *
I ship within 24 hours of receiving payment.
but, if that's not quick enough for you...and no one else objects,
maybe I can ship them today, so you can have them before the auction ends
* * * *
Payment via MONEY ORDER OR CASH ONLY
Cash includes:
- pennies
- nickels
- dimes
-quarters
- half dollars
- George Washingtons
- Thomas Jeffersons
- Abraham Lincolns
- Alexander Hamiltons
- and, Andrew Jacksons
That means NO food stamps, NO trading cards, and definitely NO PAYPAL.
and, NO PAYPAL doesn't mean,
bid, win, pay by cash,
then leave negative feedback because I wouldn't take PAYPAL!!!!!
NO PAYPAL means NO PAYPAL
it also means,
that I can actually count on keeping the paltry sum I make on these stars.
Refund Policy
They looked bigger in the picture?
Not quite the right fit?
Wanted gold instead of red?
Needed them for a gift yesterday?
SNAG [Significantly not as good of a deal as you found elsewhere]?
Your 3 year old bid using your id?
or simply buyer remorse?
No problem...I'll give you a FULL REFUND....not
I think that about does it....
3 hard earned, well treasured, now useless valuable Stars for sale.
Star Wars theme .... appropriate don't cha think
[ Thank you Kali ]
________________________________________
On Feb-28-08 at 11:32:44 PST, seller added the following information:
Update
It has been brought to my attention,
that there is a new concept in building a success enterprise.
It may just be me that has been living in a cave,
but, I was so excited that I thought I should share it anyway.
The new concept is called...
Communication,communication,communication!
Kind of blows you away, don't it.
I mean something so simple,
who'd of thought that so many of us had never tried it before!
( now you know the real reason I am keeping that other star...
it's NIB.... I didn't know how to use it before today).
So, in keeping with the times and to avoid potentially being kicked off the marketplace,
well kicked off within the next 5 days,
I am in the process of implementing the suggested changes.
I'm told that sellers who open their listings to international bidders,
get more bids and higher final values.
It was suggested that a good tip is :
Find a local student in my area that has other language skills,
and pay them a one-off fee [? don't ask me, I'm just telling you like it was],
to help translate my listings into the appropriate language.
Well I'm pleased to inform you that I have contacted a local student,
that can read,speak and write in the languages of ALL 195 countries,
enabling me to ramp-up my sales, by selling worldwide.
Please note:
Unfortunately at this time, my student translator will only be available
to translate Canadian for my customers in Canada.
I hope to have him available for the remaining 194 countries,
shortly after my last auction ends.
Another recommendation that I hope to put into practice is,
Adding a call center or phone number.
I am currently in the process of interviewing potential employees from 195 countries.
[ no sense in having a Call Center if you can't speak the language]
Again, due to the cost associated with the office space, telephone upgrade,etc.,
I will not be able to offer this service for this item.
In closing I would like to leave you with the sage advice of the venue itself.
If you're serious about eBay, it's about time to get serious about DSR!!!
I believe they were saying you should bid on my stars!
.
For all the looks, questions, comments and bids
I know that sellers are not suppose to sleep, so that they are available 24/7.
and, I know that this will probally ding up one or more of my ratings,
but, I am in desperate need of new eyeglasses [appointment tomorrow].
So I will be unavailable to answer questions Friday, between 9:00am-5:00pm.
Think of it this way.....
maybe with new glasses, all these changes won't look so cock-eyed to me
________________________________________
00916
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Questions from other members
Question & Answer Answered On
Q: Hi, I just bid on your stars - everybody else was bidding, so I though your stars MUST be a fabulous deal. (Well actually, I was bidding with my friends...more
Feb-28-08
A: oh chit, you guys are killing me! I haven't laughed this much since I sucked the helium out of my birthday balloons! [ wiping grin off face, taking...more
Q: If I was to pay in say pennies, could I just send you one that is worth say 100.00 and you could put the change in and return it with the stars when you...more
Feb-28-08
A: Hello.I soooooo wish that I could accomodate you. Regrettably as this is my last auction, I would not be able to resell the extremely valuable penny for...more
Q: Hi, My internet access is only via Dial-Up. I must tell you that it took FOREVER for your auction to load up. All those pictures and that silly music...more
Feb-28-08
A: Hello. I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name? Would you speak a little louder please?...Oh hello... and welcome to my auction, Mr.Ima Troll. May...more
Q: Hi, I do like the red star but er... do you think it will make my butt look fat? Feb-28-08
A: sigh,why is there always a butt... Absolutely not!The red star and you! Why, you'd look stunning. Radiant I might add. And,if I may be so bold,a...more
Q: I don't believe for a minute that you have 5 stars for communication. I've been considering bidding on this and I haven't heard a word from...more
Feb-28-08
A: Hello potential troublemaker, I mean customer. First,let me assure you that the stars in this auction are mine and mine alone. [snicker...they'll never...more
posted on February 28, 2008 06:51:22 PM new
I loved the answer to one of the questions that said you could pay with Monopoly money if you wanted. Last I looked it was at $35 and the bidders weren't low feedback either.
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posted on February 29, 2008 09:51:06 AM new
Too funny! Thanks for posting - wish we could have seen all the questions and answers!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Caroline
. It wouldn't hurt eBay to have a sense of humor at a time like this!
Caroline