posted on October 3, 2001 12:27:54 PM new
Anyone else have an overly "helpful" housemate, spouse, friend that drives you insane? I am on my way to deposit garbage in the bin and hubby holds out his hand, "here let me take it"! Yeah that makes sense let's transfer this over the clean floor so that both of us can have icky hands....or I am cooking, leave the room for a minute to check on laundry, come back and all my ingredients have been put way...hell, I haven't even started the dish?
I do have a "Don't Help Me Shirt" but it doesn't seem to work. Anybody else have this little problem?
posted on October 3, 2001 12:37:40 PM new
My best friend has always had keys to whereever I happen to live, as I do for her abodes. She is also a highly organized person who could easily hire herself out to people to get them on budget, organize their closets or garage, etc. Years ago I came home after work, went into my kitchen to fix supper--and couldn't find *anything*!! My friend, in the spirit of making my life better, had come in & totally reorganized my kitchen for me. To her way of thinking it was a gift to me. To my way of thinking, it was a pain trying to find out where everything was . I gently disuaded her from doing that sort of thing again--and have teased her about for years...
edited to remove an extraneous "she"
[ edited by bunnicula on Oct 3, 2001 12:45 PM ]
posted on October 3, 2001 12:44:31 PM new
My husband thought he would tidy up the garden last fall. He pulled up a lot of dormant perennials by their dead stalks before I could stop him.
posted on October 3, 2001 12:49:16 PM new
Ohhh I'm gonna love this thread!
Bunni ~ my MIL did that for me, what a great gift, she was on my mind for weeks as I tried to find things.
Saabsister, we call it the case of the missing fox gloves!! There are soooo many plants that don't live in my garden any more I have suggested leaving the weeds for the wild birds to gather seed...in the spring I point and help remove them.
posted on October 3, 2001 12:58:57 PM new
Yes I have a wife that comes in and starts putting everything away even though I am not done and have not used it. Puts all the clean stuff back in the dishwasher. Dumps stuff down the disposal that I am trying to mix.
When that happens I quit working and refuse to start again. If she wants dinner she can make it. That stops it for another month or so.
I had dealings with a man that his wife and adult daughter would not leave his things alone. They did not work themselves although the daughter was out of school.
They would get the mail and not give him his businesses mail. They would unplug his modem and fax he needed to work to have a second line to talk. They felt that because he did not work for someone he did not have a "real job" even though it fed them. Basically they made fun of him to other people. He finally left them and divorced and as he said - The idiots still do not understand what the problem was.
posted on October 3, 2001 01:02:56 PM new
Yep...there are three couples that we moved here with and all three of us 'housewives' found ourselves with the 'helpful husbands'. All the hubbies had been in 'management' and decided their organizational skills were much better than ours, so they proceed to organize our kitchens. They put everything where they decided it was best. Mind you only one of them did any cooking at all, but they knew the spices belonged on the other side of the kitchen, away from the stove. (etc, etc)
Mind you we each had full control and use of our kitchens for 45 yrs, 33 yrs and 30 yrs, but what did we know? (LOL) We laugh about it now, but as we each individually experienced the 'new plan' it wasn't so funny. After sharing this experience with other friends, it seems it often happens upon retirement, and that many others experienced the same thing.
Now for me, I'm willing to exit the kitchen whenever my DH decides he wants to experiment in the kitchen. And he cleans up the mess too.....so I'm semi-retired in that area. YEA!!
posted on October 3, 2001 01:04:43 PM new
Zilvy! LOL! Yes, I have a friend who comes to visit and she wont do a damn thing to pick up after herself. She waits until I finish the dishes, then comes in and asks if she can help and stands there, bumping me out of the way as I wipe down the kitchen counters, or gets in my way as Im sweeping up the crumbs and wants to hold..get this...the dustpan. Last time she was here, I said "Funny, isnt it, how you ALWAYS ask if you can help when IM DONE".
posted on October 3, 2001 01:07:40 PM new
Yes, my live-in will often take over something I've started. If it's something I really want to do myself, I'll ask him to stop because he's slowing me down.
On the other hand, if I want macaroni and cheese for dinner (a downfall, but I love it), and he's not in the mood to cook that, I'll start, and he just can't help himself - he'll do his 'taking over' thing. I quietly move out of the kitchen and let him finish. Works everytime and I love it.
posted on October 3, 2001 01:19:50 PM new
Oh yes... There was the time I was going to dig a new small flower bed. Hubby says, "I'll do it". A little later I hear the rumbling of an engine and there he sits, smiling, in all his glory, digging deap with his backhoe. (Boys with their toys!!!, lol)
posted on October 3, 2001 01:41:13 PM new
Actually I ended up putting in a tree. I figured with a hole that deep, I might as well! Hubby never could figure out why I was on the porch laughing so hard.
posted on October 3, 2001 02:07:09 PM new
Men just suck, don't they? So clumsy, so headstrong ... they think they know better, they think they know it all. And they always make a mess of everything they touch, even when they try to help. What are they good for anyway other than creating laundry, drinking beer and farting? They're like overgrown children -- what did deliteful say, "Boys with their toys"? You go, girl!
I guess you'd have to be really stupid to marry one.
posted on October 3, 2001 02:14:52 PM new
I wasn't going to say anything, but what the heck...
edited to add... I hit enter too soon- I'll finish my post now
I used to get complaints for not helping. Then when I helped, I got complaints because I "didn't do it right". Sometimes, there's just no way to win...
[ edited by mrpotatoheadd on Oct 3, 2001 02:18 PM ]
posted on October 3, 2001 02:16:43 PM newZilvy: You know my husband is a wonderful guy, and I love him dearly. But the other day I asked him if he checked the oil in my car, and he said "No, I have to do that." So I got up and went out to the garage (and I was not angry or anything; I just decided to do it), lifted the hood, and suddenly he ran out and started checking my oil. I said "I'm right here! Hello? I'm doing it". He said "Well I was GOING to". How stupid is it for me to get that far and then have him run out and do it? I was NOT happy.
posted on October 3, 2001 02:22:18 PM newSpaz, Spaz, Spaz Paranoia is setting in...knock it off...we've had stories about MIL, Best friends(women) and Men...it just happens that men make up almost 50% of the partners of this posting group who happen to be a majority of women! Now Spazmodeous, do you have a housemate, friend or spouse that is driving you mad? That was the question...you drinking fool you! Oh and as an aside, he's Irish too!
posted on October 3, 2001 02:29:19 PM new
Then where does all this angst come from...chill! Instead of a panic thread we are trying for a little light hearted banter.
As for defensive...step over here I'm gonna give you such a smack and if that doesn't work I'm calling out Bob's cousin Vinny...you will have a good time if it kills you, Spaz!!
posted on October 3, 2001 02:36:10 PM new
MrPotatoHeadd - I'll admit, I used to be one of those women... I used to get complaints for not helping. Then when I helped, I got complaints because I "didn't do it right". Sometimes, there's just no way to win...
until the day my DH said just those words to me. Communication....
Upon thinking what it was I really wanted (did I want to do it all, by myself? Or did I want the help, even though it might not have been as thorough as I'd have like it to be) I decided I wanted the help. Learning to 'bend' a little so everyone's happy.
posted on October 3, 2001 02:48:25 PM new
Hey Zilvy, sorry but Vinnie is tied up with some important business on this side of the globe......but his brother Aldo will be glad to help.
LindaK I had a good response for you, but I dare not post it because it will get me suspended. All I can say is, you poor, poor woman.
Now back to the original post. Oh Zilvy I have the husband that knows it all, can do it all and always knows best. His name is Perfecto, or at least that is what we call him when he is in one of his little clean up moods. He likes to put things away even when I have something in my hand and am using it.
Now I have been with this perfect specimen for 26 years and god help me I have been married to him for 22 of those years so you would think that I would be used to his little quirks. I guess I will have to keep him as no one else would have him now with all his bad habits.
posted on October 3, 2001 03:05:58 PM new
So now that I've addressed the sexism complaints regarding my post, I'll tell a story on myself. (equal opportunity time)
Hubby had bought some weed killer and I thought I would be helpful and go spray it on the fence line. I put it into a sprayer and went to work. Hubby got home and informed me that I had ruined his brand new fertilizer sprayer! He wasn't all to happy about my "help" that day.
. I gently disuaded her from doing that sort of thing again--and have teased her about for years...
