enchanted
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posted on November 14, 2001 08:25:11 AM
Thanksgiving will soon be here. Do you have any special foods or meaningful family activities or rituals that you'd like to share?
Will Thanksgiving be any different for you than last year?
I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences.
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Julesy
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posted on November 14, 2001 09:23:53 AM
I've never been a fan of Thanksgiving. Too much food, too much cooking, too much fighting, etc.
This year it's just me and the girls. Not sure if I want to cook so much food for just us, but then again, they need to keep a routine.
I worry about ex-MrJulesy as the holidays approach. It is our first Thanksgiving/Christmas apart, and I know he's still having a rough time.
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enchanted
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posted on November 14, 2001 09:37:59 AM
Hi Julesy. Holidays can be a very tough time emotionally. My husband lost a family member on Thanksgiving Day about 10 years ago. It's took about 4 to 5 years for him to start to relax about the holidays. For divorced or separated people it can be very difficult and lonely too.
We always try to invite any of my husband's coworkers for Thanksgiving dinner that don't have family close by to eat with.
This year we are going to my sister-in-laws to eat at her home in the country. But, at some point we will still make our own turkey because we participate in the SHARE program, and get all the supplies for a full Thanksgiving dinner through them. Don't know if you've heard of it, but it's a monthly food purchasing program for people who perform voluntary or community service with various charitable organizations. Since we volunteer for participating charities we got signed up with SHARE, and it is a big economic help.
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outoftheblue
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posted on November 14, 2001 09:43:08 AM
Since Thanksgiving is pretty much a non-holiday around our house, my 14 year old daughter has decided she is going to cook a big dinner for us.
I had to tone down her plans a bit because she was talking about enough food to feed an army, not 3 people. 
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enchanted
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posted on November 14, 2001 11:42:11 AM
LOL you could always invite people over, outoftheblue! The minute my daughter says she'll cook something for me, I say yes instantly, I love it when someone cooks for me.
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outoftheblue
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posted on November 14, 2001 11:50:13 AM
"you could always invite people over"
She would love that, but it would be a lot of work. Our apartment reminds me of a storage unit right now with Ebay items everywhere.
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saabsister
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posted on November 14, 2001 12:30:49 PM
Our family usually ate Thanksgiving dinner at my parents' house. They would cook the turkey, dressing, and mashed potatoes and we'd each bring a couple other dishes. Two years in a row my husband and I rebelled and ate at an inn nearby. The next year the rest of the family joined us in dining out. Then my youngest sister who had two young children rebelled because she didn't want to watch two kids in a formal setting. We got back to the old routine.
This year, with my father ill,we were going to order dinner from a caterer. But my other sister's boyfriend ,who loves to cook and has only met part of the family,decided he would prepare an entire dinner for everyone. It'll be shocking enough for him to have to deal with all of us, so we accepted his offer of cooking the bird and we'll do the usual - bring a couple dishes. (Since I have a grand total of 6 square feet of counter space in my kitchen, I've only had to cook the turkey and host once.)
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hjw
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posted on November 14, 2001 01:01:44 PM
Saabsister
I just counted my available counter space and decided that I'm not cooking a turkey either! What a wonderful excuse. Besides that, I always set the smoke alarm off when I try to cook anything that big. 
Actually, I've never been traditionally oriented. The best Thanksgiving dinners were a sandwich on a boat... with the children at grandma's house.
Now, I have a daughter like Outoftheblue who is going to handle the chore...just like Martha! LoL
Helen
[ edited by hjw on Nov 14, 2001 01:05 PM ]
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kraftdinner
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posted on November 14, 2001 01:16:27 PM
Julesy, is there any way you could have you ex over, or is that out of the question?
Sorry to hear about your dad saabsister. Is he going to be OK?
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snowyegret
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posted on November 14, 2001 01:50:06 PM
Spitfire Noodles
Noodles + Thai sauce + habaneros.
You have the right to an informed opinion
-Harlan Ellison
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doxdogy
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posted on November 14, 2001 03:56:20 PM
I must be odd. I love cooking Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner. Of course, in my house we have a rule at holiday. The person that cooks the meal, never ever has to clean the kitchen after the meal. So, I guess the perk is that I can make a big mess in the kitchen and watch the husband and nephew clean up my mess.
Theresa
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julesy
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posted on November 14, 2001 04:33:30 PM
Hi Kraft -- I was thinking about inviting him for dessert. There's too much tension between us to do a whole meal, but dessert is possible.
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rawbunzel
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posted on November 14, 2001 05:38:14 PM
Julesy, Good idea, feed him dessert and send him home with a few leftovers. I did that with my Ex the first year we were divorced. Made the kids happy if nothing else!
My dining table is full of boxes. I will have to move them to a pile in the corner to use the table for the holiday. I always cook the meal but this year it is only my husband,me and my daughter. My son is a vegetarian and so is his girlfriend and they can't stand to see the cooked bird so they don't come anymore. Their loss! I am an excellent turkey cook! I can hardly wait, I really like to cook turkeys and I love the left overs.
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enchanted
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posted on November 14, 2001 05:51:15 PM
Dessert is a great idea! Rawbunzel your idea of sending him home with leftovers is excellent.
I wish you luck Julesy. With a little luck it might even start a little healing between everyone.
I've made turkey every single year for years, I've actually gotten good at it, and I love turkey. It wouldn't be Thanksgiving for me without some kind of turkey. Usually its roast turkey with stuffing but several years I made turkey pipian and turkey en mole. Yum.
Saabsister and Helen, I hope you enjoy your Thanksgivings and your clean kitchen counters! I'm fortunate to have lots of counterspace, it had better be big, that's where I do all my packing and shipping for Ebay and Amazon sales 
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julesy
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posted on November 14, 2001 07:33:59 PM
Thanks enchanted and Rawbunzel. I usually don't do the touchy/feely stuff (isn't that a shocker!?), but I needed the encouragement today, and the relaxing feeling of this thread helped.
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antiquary
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posted on November 14, 2001 07:48:13 PM
My favorite Thanksgivings were the ones after Jean and I married and before our son was born. We would tell each set of parents that we were going to the other's for Thanksgiving and take a mini-vacation. For whatever reason Thanksgiving has never been a favorite holiday.
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outoftheblue
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posted on November 14, 2001 10:22:32 PM
doxdogy
"in my house we have a rule at holiday. The person that cooks the meal, never ever has to clean the kitchen after the meal."
Shhhhhh. You'll give a certain 14 year old I know ideas if she sees this.
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plsmith
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posted on November 14, 2001 11:36:40 PM
I'll be cooking for five -- a comedown from recent years; some of my family refuse to fly to get here and I don't blame them. But we'll have a special time anyway. My nephew will videotape every rude remark and excursion made down the hall to the bathroom. Someone will drop mashed potatoes on the diningroom floor and someone else will see to it that my Mom gets drunk on chardonnay. My Dad will fall asleep hunched over his slice of whipcream-topped pumpkin pie, and my sister will insist upon singing an aria or two at the piano.
This passes for fun in my family, so no cracks...
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joycel
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posted on November 15, 2001 08:12:49 AM
Thanksgiving will soon be here. Do you have any special foods or meaningful family activities or rituals that you'd like to share?
Thanksgiving--it's always meant a lot more to me than just food. Time to stop and take inventory of what I have to be thankful for. This year--that God gave me the best husband in the world, even though we found each other late in life; that for the first time in many many years I feel good about my oldest daughter's life; that my middle child is healthy and happy at college; that my Freshman son is doing well at high school and even though at parent-teacher conference the teachers noted his less-than-excellent grades, in the same breath they said what a nice kid he was; that I have a loving family that lives near me; that I live in my little old house out in the country surrounded by beautiful scenery, and on and on.
There is an old poem called "The Cowboy's Prayer" and one line always sticks in my mind--"I thank thee God that You have placed me so well..." That's MY Thanksgiving.
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enchanted
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posted on November 15, 2001 08:42:25 AM
Wow... that's nice joyce. Thank you. I'm thankful that my husband, daughter and I are all healthy, together and very close. That makes every holiday and every day special to me too.
plsmith, every Thanksgiving I look back not so fondly on the one year I tried to make a parsnip souffle for my mother-in-law. I can't abide parsnips myself, but she loves them. Not being used to them or the garbage disposal system in our new house, I tried to grind up the parsnip peelings and trimmings, promptly stopped up the sink, flooded the kitchen floor, couldn't get the turkey out of the oven on time.... memories...
Another memory I have is the dreaded kid's table. Always hated that (being seated at a card table somewhere in the outer mongolian reaches of some kitchen or dining room annex) as a kid but when you have a huge family it's a necessity. I've even had to do it myself depending on how large the gathering is for my family.
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mrssantaclaus
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posted on November 19, 2001 10:04:45 AM
My father has been gone not quite three weeks so it will be a very emotional Thanksgiving for us. It always was at my parent's house, but this year my brother bought a new house so we will go there. My sister-in-law called this morning with directions to the house (it's about 2 blocks away ). She promised to give me directions to my mother-in-law's house for later (another block ). Luckily there are four children under age 5 so they will keep our spirits up.
Julesy ... inviting him for desert would be a wonderful gesture for the children ... and might even lessen some of the hostility between the two of you. I wish you the best.
We have been threatening to put Mom at the children's table this year ... but then, I am sure she would really enjoy it there
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.
BECKY
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enchanted
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posted on November 19, 2001 10:13:46 AM
Happy Thanksgiving to you too Becky. I hope there will be some good memories on the holiday for you and your family along with the inevitable sadness you must feel about losing your dad. Go with the flow of your feelings. Sending you good thoughts for strength.
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MAH645
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posted on November 19, 2001 05:00:26 PM
I've had many great Thanksgivings with relatives, of which the last past this year. but I have to say, that though I miss them all very much that the peace that God has given me will be all that I need to see me home. I have a great husband, I don't Celebrate Christmas as I did at one time.I now am happy as I can be with a good meal and thats it,don't decorate or give gifts to anyone. And now that I don't do those things, I realize all the hardships and problems I could have avoided years ago if I had had the wisdom I have today. I now love Christmas and Thanksgiving as they are the best time of the year!
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