toomanycomics
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posted on August 1, 2000 04:35:52 PM
In the memo field of all your checks write "for sensual massage." 
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Leave the copy machine set to 99 copies, reduce 200%, extra dark, 17-inch paper.
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snowyegret
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posted on August 1, 2000 04:40:39 PM
Tap dance to Inagaddavida
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bearmom
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posted on August 1, 2000 05:30:25 PM
Smile at your enemies.
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kitsch1
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posted on August 1, 2000 05:51:17 PM
Apologize profusely for leading them to believe that you were interested in what they were talking about.
Ask repeatedly, Are you going to wear that tonight?
Put your finger near them and say I'm not touching you....I'm not touching you.... I'm not touching you.
Shave them bald while they sleep.
Kelly
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barrybarris
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posted on August 1, 2000 05:56:50 PM
Ways to Annoy People
Become a telemarketer.
Barry (ring ring) Barris
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barrybarris
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posted on August 1, 2000 06:02:51 PM
Call information and ask if they know how to spell a word, like sergeant.
I really did that once..
Barry (why is sargent spelled sergeant?) Barris
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katiep921
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posted on August 1, 2000 06:07:18 PM
When your phone rings during dinner and it's a telemarketer, interrupt the spiel as follows:
"Hello, Mrs. Jones? This is Bradley with XYZ long-distance service, and I'd like to save you -- "
"Oh, Bradley, great! I'd like to order a large pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and mushrooms, please, and don't forget the two-liter Coke to go with it. I'll look for you in about 20 minutes. Bye!"
Click.
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katie p: vintage treasures, contemporary pleasures
http://www.katiep.com
[email protected]
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jeanyu
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posted on August 1, 2000 06:28:25 PM
ways to annoy people--"ways to annoy people"
No really---"no really"
Come on--"come on"
Cut it out---"cut it out"
You are impossible---"you are impossible"
What a jerk---"what a jerk"
----
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LadyofLake
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posted on August 1, 2000 06:45:33 PM
"oh yeah?!"
LOL jeanyu
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snowyegret
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posted on August 1, 2000 07:25:02 PM
Eat a hot fudge sundae with whipped cream in front of someone on a diet.
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bearmom
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posted on August 1, 2000 07:58:12 PM
Suck a lemon in front of a trumpet player during his solo.
Hide the toilet paper.
Hide the sports page from any man.
Tell your students there will be a test tomorrow, but you haven't decided yet what it will be over.
Take your hoard of pennies to the bank to deposit-loose-all 2 gallons of them.
Dust dandruff off their shoulders..especially when they don't have dandruff.
Holler 'Hey, you dropped something!' to anyone with their arms full.
This is the best one of all.....Right in the middle of a good story, stop, and...
Worked, didn't it? 
[ edited by bearmom on Aug 1, 2000 07:59 PM ]
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mauimoods
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posted on August 1, 2000 08:22:43 PM
The way Kiheicat annoys me when Im telling her something she doesnt want to hear....
LALALALALAALLALAALALA I CANT HEAR YOU LALALAALALALALLALALA
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barrybarris
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posted on August 1, 2000 08:33:54 PM
Go to a nice restaurant and after you eat
Dental Floss your teeth at the table
Then leave the used floss on the table...
Barry (I saw some one do this once) Barris
edited to make my smiley face work
[ edited by barrybarris on Aug 1, 2000 08:35 PM ]
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mybiddness
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posted on August 1, 2000 08:57:05 PM
Barry( )BarrisEEEEEEEWWWWW! I'm getting a picture here - not good!
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LadyofLake
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posted on August 1, 2000 09:07:06 PM
LALALALALA(I can't hear you barry)LALALALA
too gross...
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kitsch1
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posted on August 1, 2000 09:33:44 PM
Pretend you dont speak English and then as the frustrated person walks away; say in a loud voice to anyone nearby........ Do you have change for a dollar?
Tell the car salesman (after the long speel, after the test drive, after they compliment you on your kids) that you really arent in the market for a minivan, that you just came for the free popcorn and balloons.
Kelly
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kitsch1
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posted on August 1, 2000 09:48:54 PM
Play Muskrat Love on a bus, in a car, on a train, in a plane. Play it here play it there, play it everywhere.
Kelly
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barrybarris
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posted on August 1, 2000 09:50:38 PM
Go into a public rest room with a hidden whoopie cushion, enter a stall and close the door.
Let the whoopie cushion rip a couple of good ones and declare "WOW, I'm glad that's out of me"
Barry (This may go beyond annoying) Barris
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kitsch1
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posted on August 1, 2000 09:56:25 PM
Public restrooms!
Yell loudly to the person in the next stall...........Damn! What did you have for lunch!!??
Kelly
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barrybarris
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posted on August 1, 2000 09:58:59 PM
In a supermarket take 14 items to the 5 items or less check out asile...
Barry (Oh yes, don't forget the coupons) Barris
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kitsch1
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posted on August 1, 2000 09:59:42 PM
Run into pub restroom before the concert starts, remove toilet paper.
Kelly
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barrybarris
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posted on August 1, 2000 10:14:58 PM
This may not be annoying, but it can be fun, I know, I've done it.
Go to a public pay phone and stuff a dollar bill in the coin return. Sit and wait for the person (and you know they are out there) who goes from pay phone to pay phone checking the coin return. Their reaction is quite funny. I have also done it with pennies.
Barry (I should have had a camera with me) Barris
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noteye
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posted on August 1, 2000 11:25:59 PM
Begin every sentence with "Well, that's nothing ..." and then relate something totally un-related.
When someone is talking to you - instead of listening to them - see if you can see your eyebrows without looking in the mirror - first the right one, then the left one, then the right one again, then the left one again, then the right one, then the left one, then the right one again ...
Walk to lunch with your co-workers without stepping on a 'crack' ...
Whenever a song comes on the radio, always say "Oh, Oh .. that's my favorite song .. Turn it up!" and then sing along messing up the words.
Whenever a female co-worker shows you a picture of her new born baby - turn to the nearest male co-worker and say "He/She has your eyes".
When it's time for bed, and you and your mate crawl under the covers - turn Leno or Letterman on the tellie and mute the sound and then laugh and giggle to yourself. Just enough to shake the bed.
Do your Jim Carrey impersonation at every social gathering.
Tell everyone you went to school with Brad Pitt.
Tell everyone you went to school with Jennifer Aniston.
Shake the can of Priggles till they're all broken.
Whenever anyone is telling a joke or story, right as they reach the punch line or finish - interrupt them and remind everyone "This is the GOOD part".
Walk by a female co-worker and say loud enough for her to hear but no one else - "Someone needs to make some coffee".
Ask the sales clerk for something in PINK, when they bring it to you say, "No, not that Pink, more pink pink".
Title all your auctions "OLD OLD OLD Widget" and always begin your auction listings with "I found this in my grandmothers attic/home/garage .. " and then let them know it is dated 1984.
"I try to take one day at a time, but lately several days have attacked me at once."
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mybiddness
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posted on August 1, 2000 11:34:06 PM
You're all nuts - gotta love this place.
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toomanycomics
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posted on August 2, 2000 05:36:51 AM
Finish all your sentences with the words, "in accordance with prophecy."
Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
Specify that your drive through order is "to go." (I actually done that one )
hee hee
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katiep921
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posted on August 2, 2000 05:49:56 AM
"Specify that your drive through order is "to go." (I actually done that one)"
I've had them ask me, over the loudspeaker, "Is that for here or to go?"
katie
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katie p: vintage treasures, contemporary pleasures
http://www.katiep.com
[email protected]
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thermionic
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posted on August 2, 2000 09:44:10 AM
katiep:
That reminds me.. i hate it when they suggest other stuff..
When they say "want fries with that?",, I scream in the speaker "Did i say i wanted fries #$%%!*^%mit?"
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thermionic
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posted on August 2, 2000 09:56:45 AM
Call in a 2 large pizzas for delivery to your "friends " house unbeknownst to them..
Make that a couple 2 liter pepsis with that..
Late as possible (around 11 pm)...
Use a pay phone..
Dont forget all 10 toppings..
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stockticker
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posted on August 2, 2000 10:35:04 AM
Whine.
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LadyofLake
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posted on August 2, 2000 10:51:28 AM
...repeatedly.
Irene
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