posted on July 17, 2005 06:53:11 PM new
I posted a thread a long time ago about my ex-sister-in-law throwing her daughter out and my brother taking her in. Well, she has moved back in with her mother and the saga continues. We need desperate advice.
A couple of weeks ago, my brother called his ex to tell her that the child support check was in the mail. His ex went off on him because she found out that he called Child Protective Services on her. He hung up on her. About an hour later, there was a police officer at his door. She accused him of threatening to kill her and her family. My brother, of course, filed a report stating that he never said any of the things she's accusing him of and did discuss the history a bit with the detective. This would be laughable if it weren't for the things that follow this. Two weeks have gone by and he finds a note on his door from this same detective saying that he (my brother) needs to call him or there would be a warrant out for his arrest. Of course, my brother calls him. The detective went on to say that the prosecutor is taking the case and that they are going to lock him up. In fact, suddenly there is a warrant for my brother's arrest. They are prosecuting him for something like criminal menacing and phone harassment. Over one phone call and one false accusation? Over a he-said, she-said thing? This doesn't make sense to me. Neither does the fact that they would warn him ahead of time that there's a warrant??? IMO, the detective is harassing my brother and I suspect he may be a friend of his ex's husband. Does this make any sense to anyone?
I suppose the next step would be to contact an attorney, but that expense would kill my brother right now. He is going down to his police station and filing a report against her since (and I am witness to many of these) she has threatened him and our family on numerous occasions.
What a mess! Just what I need with Ryan as sick as he is. HELP!!!
posted on July 17, 2005 07:20:29 PM new
why dont you ask your ex sister in law -how can your brother continue with child support if he is in jail??
-sig file -------
Eat grass,kick ass,never go belly up!
posted on July 17, 2005 08:48:35 PM new
Cheryl, I just read your post.. I don't know what to tell you.. It does sound very suspicious with the police officer giving pre-warning and all...not very professional.
Lord, girl,your family is under a cloud..time to do a little dance around a campfire naked in the woods..to change the bad Karma..
Hang in there sweetie.. Maggie
There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.
posted on July 17, 2005 10:29:23 PM new
You have my sympathy, Cheryl. Every family I know, including our extended family, has had bad trouble at one time or another.
Years ago I read something I've never forgotten. The writer said she had a feeling there was a giant Trouble Ball in the sky for each family, and sometimes it bounced over to one family sometimes to another. It almost always landed on someone, although there could be times when it was still in the air and no one had the Trouble Ball. I think we all know where you're family ball has landed.
I've told several family members about this concept, and my sister-in-law and I often comment on where the family Trouble Ball is this week/month/year. Right now my second daughter has it smack on top of her family, getting a (messy) divorce, going nuts, etc.
Sometimes it's a bit of a consolation that as long as we know where that danged ball has landed, we're home free for a bit.
posted on July 18, 2005 12:36:26 AM new
Their hands are really sorta tied on this due to the new homeland security laws. He should point out his recent report and the vindictive nature of her accusations. The law enforcement should use their (hopefully) skills to establish inconsistencies in one of their stories.
__________
The Islamofascist fig-puckers are fighting to spread their culture and religion, and to destroy ours
posted on July 18, 2005 01:25:19 AM new
An attorney should be contacted immediately. One that is familiar with family law, as the basis for this matter is support, etc.
The perceived expense is actually much less than the aggravation of going it alone. Sooner or later, he will need one. So, it may just as well be now.
She was 15 and a hand full! For so long she was allowed to run around unsupervised that trying to straighten her out now is tough!! My brother found that out when he had her. But, then again, raising teenage daughters is never easy. I don't know how my mother survived it.
parklane
Homeland security or not, this is a bit much. We now have to fear having an argument with someone because now they'll say we threatened to kill them and we'll end up in jail. I don't like where this is all heading at all. It's like having the Gestapo breathing down your neck. Looks like another cause for me to take part in. That's okay. It's been getting kind of boring around here lately.
roadsmith
When you come from as large a family as I do, there's always trouble somewhere! Unfortunately, I have the dubious honor of being the eldest child and they all come running to me including my mother. Like I'm a miracle worker or something. I'm used to it. My friends do the same thing. My Reiki master once said I have a very strong crown chakra and it shines like a beacon in the night. That's why I attract all of this. Lucky me!
My brother now cannot contact his daughter at all. He's not allowed to call the house and the mother fixed my niece's cell phone so that she cannot get incoming calls. There's the real victim here.
stopwhining
Good question, LOL! She's cooking her own goose. Like they say, what goes around. . .
"Homeland security or not, this is a bit much. We now have to fear having an argument with someone because now they'll say we threatened to kill them and we'll end up in jail. I don't like where this is all heading at all. It's like having the Gestapo breathing down your neck. Looks like another cause for me to take part in. That's okay. It's been getting kind of boring around here lately."
I just read this morning that the FBI is targeting protest sites on the web...that is, they are monitoring political organizations that are doing nothing but engaging in lawful First Amendment activities. Referring these political protest groups to a counter terrorism unit is an overreaction typical of this administration.
Although it doesn't sound like a serious charge against your brother, I would advise him to consult a lawyer and in the meantime avoid any communication with his estranged family.
Take care and good luck. I know how it feels to be responsible for everyone.
posted on July 18, 2005 05:48:47 AM new
I could see all of this if he was stalking her or ever physically harmed her. He does what he can to avoid her. It is a bit much and it is being blown out of proportion. That's typical of this police department though. When my son was in elementary school, he was playing around at a bus stop and swinging his book bag around. He accidentally hit a girl with it. She went running home to her parents. Her parents called the police and the police wanted the prosecutor to charge my son with assault! The police officer was threatening toward me and my son. I called the prosecutor and he laughed saying they don't have time to prosecute people for horseplay. Same police department!
posted on July 18, 2005 06:02:54 AM new
Cheryl, if the police took no action against your borther and if he did harm his ex, they would be the ones in deep doo doo.
You can thank OJ for most of this domestic violence crap.
So they are following the only real recourse they have right now.
posted on July 18, 2005 06:46:03 AM new
So then, if I decide I no longer like my neighbor (or relative or anyone) or he annoys me too much all I have to do is call the police and say he threatened to kill me and they'll spend taxpayer's money to prosecute him with no evidence? That should be enough to frighten anyone.
Edited to add: There have been threats made on this board over the years, why haven't any of them been prosecuted?
Cheryl
[ edited by cblev65252 on Jul 18, 2005 06:46 AM ]
posted on July 18, 2005 08:10:31 AM new
---So then, if I decide I no longer like my neighbor (or relative or anyone) or he annoys me too much all I have to do is call the police and say he threatened to kill me and they'll spend taxpayer's money to prosecute him with no evidence? That should be enough to frighten anyone.
---
Yes, Cheryl, with the " "Patriot" Act "
anyone can be picked up and never heard from again. No charges, no lawyer, no contact with anyone.
It's frightening alright but happened in plain view of the American people.
ThePatriot Act....what a abomination of the word patriot!
posted on July 18, 2005 09:20:57 AM new
"So then, if I decide I no longer like my neighbor (or relative or anyone) or he annoys me too much all I have to do is call the police and say he threatened to kill me"
Naw, you need a butcher knife stuck in you. This is a "protect the abused wife" thing, kinda like the "protect the children thing".
You can be sure if they decide to pick him up, they'll use about 6 squad cars also. That's what they do out here, shows the neighbors they're tough on wife beaters.
Your brother should have no physical contact with her w/o witnesses. He better be able to PROVE something DIDN'T happen.
My friend's wife is an alcoholic. She periodically throws all his clothes on the lawn and 4 squad cars come and pick him up.
posted on July 18, 2005 11:07:59 AM new
There has to be more to the story, I am sorry this is happening to your family but the reality is in today's world, a woman can say just about anything to the police and the guy is guilty first.
posted on July 18, 2005 11:40:17 AM new
Maybe that's making up for the first ten thousand years when men did anything they wanted to women without any punishment whatsoever.
posted on July 18, 2005 11:57:59 AM new
I didn't think they could issue an arrest warrant without probable cause, and probable cause has to be more than just he said - she said. (??) Personally, I would let them arrest me. If they don't have anything, they could get into trouble for false arrest, but maybe it's different in the U.S. I'd be as cooperative as I could and hopefully ruin the credibility of the accuser.
posted on July 18, 2005 11:58:53 AM new
etexbill, others have said that also. Here in Washington state there are free lawyers if you can't afford one, maybe in Ohio also?
posted on July 18, 2005 12:03:02 PM new
Ron, probably in Ohio too.
The same here, you don't have to go without legal representation (and shouldn't).
[ edited by etexbill on Jul 18, 2005 12:03 PM ]
posted on July 18, 2005 12:22:52 PM new
Cheryl, I would advise your brother to stay away from his ex and only communicate with her in writing. I know that is inconvenient, but might not seem so much so if he has to go to the trouble of paying a lawyer to deal with his ex's frivolous whims.
Sometimes it is best to just walk away from an argument. Some people just love to fight and you can't win with them if you feel the need to have the last word.
posted on July 18, 2005 12:41:06 PM new
LtRay, hear hear!
Sometimes I watch a couple of men arguing and see how fervently they each need to have the last word. As though they're having grown emotionally since their junior high years. Walking away is therapeutic!
He is avoiding her. He has always tried to, but. . .if you knew her!! Even my mother hates her and she loves everyone! In fact (and this is kind of funny), my mother was on the phone with me today and said, "I hate that b*tch. She's the witchiest of witches. She probably needs a good f*ck". My mother is 71 years old! I laughed so hard I almost wet myself. My mother used the "F" word. LOL!
Ron
There is no more to the story. She is what she is and it doesn't take much to provoke her. She has attacked me, my son, my daughter, my mother. If you go against her, you're toast. Evil. Pure evil. She's just mad because he called CPS on her. Righfully so. CPS though had no business telling her who made the call. They're asking for trouble with that one.
posted on July 18, 2005 01:36:36 PM new
Cheryl,
LOL, remember the first time, and I think only time, I heard my Mother use the F word. I was speechless, but have gotten laughs out of it for years whenever I remember it.
CPS should have NEVER told the witch who called. Here in FL it is against the law for a social worker to disclose who filed a complaint.
She may have just baited your brother into admitting he did it.
My earlier advise still stands. There is no better way to stop an argument than to refuse to participate.
Yes, it will pizz off the agressor big time, but sooner or later, if ignored long enough, they will go find someone else to pick on.
From an energy stand point, as long as you respond to an aggressor, they are stealing your energy. The only way to break the cord is to "shut the door" and ignore them, both physically and mentally.
posted on July 18, 2005 01:48:19 PM new
Get this: My brother went down to the North Olmsted, Ohio police department to turn himself in to avoid being arrested. Guess what? There's no record of his ex's complaint, no record of the statement he gave to the detective the day he came over and no warrant. There is no record anywhere. He was harassed by a detective who appears to be a friend of his ex's and her husband. Lawsuit here he comes and against both the North Olmsted police dept. and his ex and her husband. I knew it sounded too suspicious.
posted on July 18, 2005 02:05:02 PM new
Yeah, that's a smart move. Aggravate the local cops. If he does it, complain to the county. Be prepared for everyone in the entire family to be stopped every time they get it a car.
posted on July 18, 2005 02:38:01 PM new
Many of you are in the dark. I had a friend arrested because a neighbor said he threatened him. Welcome to MMV.
The detective should have a formal complaint made against him for abusing his authority.
posted on July 18, 2005 02:55:17 PM new
desquirrel
They are not the local cops. None of us go through that city. We live in an entirely different city. The only thing in North Olmsted is the mall and who can afford to go there? He is filing a formal complaint. I think he's more interested in suing his ex and her husband than anything else. Not for the money though because they don't have much. It's the principle.
