kiheicat
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posted on August 22, 2000 12:31:15 PM new
Meya, is right... we haven't had a good story around here in awhile.
I'll start:
It was a warm summer evening. Cheyenne sat quietly in the gazebo with a mint julep in hand, sipping slowly. It had been such a long journey recovering from her amnesia and she still had bouts of not knowing. She looked up to the sky, gazing at the stars, pondering her life and the missing pieces and as she looked back across the lawn, she saw a figure in the distance...
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Meya
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posted on August 22, 2000 12:38:34 PM new
It was Doctor Bill, quickly coming with a hypodermic to counter act the affects of the mint in the julip. It seems that Cheyanne had forgotten she was allergic to mint.
Drat that amnesia...
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mauimoods
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posted on August 22, 2000 12:39:39 PM new
......and immediately, the hawaiian words of "Ikaika kanaka ho'omaka'u 'oe" came to mind. Wondering why she thought of those words that could be brought about by seeing the figure in the distance, she......
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tismesugie
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posted on August 22, 2000 12:41:44 PM new
Meya was astounded that Dr Bill would inject her, without permission. But just as she was about to protest, the drug took effect, and she could feel herself slipping into her familiar dreamworld. Dr Bill
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kiheicat
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posted on August 22, 2000 01:00:25 PM new
ROTF Maui 
Dr. Bill held her gently in his arms and cooed "There there Helen" and Cheyenne murmured "I thought you said my name was Cheyenne." He glanced at his chart and said "Dam, wrong patient again!" And without warning he was surrounded by a group of men in white coats who pulled him off of Cheyenne and began dragging him away, saying "We'll teach you to impersonate the doc"...
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tismesugie
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posted on August 22, 2000 01:09:18 PM new
Cheyenne sat up and rubbed her aching head, thinking that her unconcious state was preferable to the confusion of reality. But she had not time for feeling glum, for coming in the distance
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kiheicat
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posted on August 22, 2000 01:29:34 PM new
...were two snarling dobermans and a white-haired man in a bathrobe with a shotgun! She screamed and they stopped cold in their tracks. The old man shouted out...
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tismesugie
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posted on August 22, 2000 01:34:10 PM new
"Are you married to sgtmike? I am going to..."
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barrybarris
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posted on August 22, 2000 03:07:47 PM new
..."open a new donut shop and I want sgtmike to cut the ribbon at the Grand Opening." One of the dobermans wandered over to Cheyenne and lifted his rear leg, relieving himself on her. This was enough to shock Cheyenne back to reality. Her allergic reaction to the mint was effecting her. She knew she needed help. Cheyenne picked up her cell phone and called...
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mauimoods
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posted on August 22, 2000 03:16:13 PM new
.........someone she thought might give a damn and breathlessly said.......
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kiheicat
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posted on August 22, 2000 03:43:28 PM new
..."Hello Maui? Oh you have to help me. You're the only one who can." Maui said "Who is this?" and hung up the phone. Devastated, Cheyenne, scrambled to her feet and realized that she a donut really did sound good right now. A cup of coffee too. But then she heard a horrible sound...
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mauimoods
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posted on August 22, 2000 03:47:35 PM new
and said to herself "oh no! I cant spell! I dont make sense! I got the dreaded DEER IN HEADLIGHTS LOOK!"
Wringing her hands in despair she struggled with deciding who else to call...maybe someone who knew Hawaiian words, since that phrase kept repeating in her head over and over again ""Ikaika kanaka ho'omaka'u 'oe"
What could it mean??? Something about a cheat being strong...or...a criminal being forceful?...WHY did it keep running around in her head?
[ edited by mauimoods on Aug 22, 2000 03:49 PM ]
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bitsandbobs
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posted on August 22, 2000 04:43:18 PM new
She kept on getting this phrase in her head "I am experiencing functionality problems"!
Bob, Downunder but never down.
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tismesugie
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posted on August 22, 2000 05:37:52 PM new
With that thought in mind, "fuctionality" reminded her of her former favorite pastime, sniping items on Ebay. She struggled, mentally trying to recall her password. At her feet, a laptop! She realized the old man had dropped it while trying to control the snarling and/or urinating dobermans. "This will make me feel better," she said to herself, as she logged into Ebay and her favorite category. Within seconds she had sniped the most outrageous
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barrybarris
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posted on August 22, 2000 07:38:38 PM new
...pair of used mens red satin underwear worn by a hard working farmer. Now her collection was almost complete. All she needed was the right video tape. She pulled up the eBay search page and entered the title she wanted. It was...
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bitsandbobs
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posted on August 22, 2000 07:59:14 PM new
....a huge shock to her phsyche when her search revealed a Russian seller with two hundred copies of Reds In The Bed at the Kremlin, starring Olga from the Volga and Vlad the Lad doing .....
[ edited by bitsandbobs on Aug 22, 2000 08:10 PM ]
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kiheicat
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posted on August 22, 2000 08:46:23 PM new
...Vlad the Lad doing Cheyenne! "OMG!" she gasped as another piece of her sordid past came to her in a fog. She remembered the dark seedy Hollywood apartment where her reign as X-rated film queen began and the garrish Vegas Suite where it ended and the drinking began. It was there, in the casino of Excalibur that she met...
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bitsandbobs
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posted on August 22, 2000 08:56:49 PM new
Woody Allen
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barrybarris
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posted on August 22, 2000 09:19:42 PM new
Barry (Woody Allen, no wonder she has amnesia) Barris
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barrybarris
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posted on August 22, 2000 09:30:05 PM new
Cheyenne remembered the days when she would call him Woody, she also remembers him ordering her to call him MR WOODY. Being very upset at all this, she turned off the laptop, laid down to take a nap so she could dream about...
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barrybarris
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posted on August 22, 2000 09:38:03 PM new
...Vlad the Lad doing Cheyenne! Oh those were the days. Her dream didn't last long (Vlad had a problem with premature, ah, you get the point), it all became a nightmare. Woody had grown tall and had fangs. He was chasing her, she ran, he ran. Luckily a spider came along and woke her up. The spider spoke to her, in english!! The spider said...
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tismesugie
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posted on August 22, 2000 09:47:14 PM new
"HERE'S JOHNNY!"
Cheyenne muttered, "Hey, just a minute--this isn't some Stephen King kind of nightmare, is it?" Sheepishly, the spider coughed and then said, "Well, pilgrim
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kiheicat
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posted on August 22, 2000 10:38:54 PM new
It's worse than that... it's an AW nightmare!"
No Cujo here, just a bunch of post-happy nuts messing with your life.
She reached into her pocket for her meds and found...
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mauimoods
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posted on August 22, 2000 10:39:30 PM new
...have the barkeep pour you a BLOODY MARY. That should get your knickers in a.......
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mauimoods
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posted on August 22, 2000 10:40:49 PM new
itsy bitsy spider that......
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tismesugie
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posted on August 22, 2000 11:10:21 PM new
"Get your hairy rear end back up that drain spout, you miserable little moron!" Cheyenne shouted at the spider. "Sheesh," replied the spider, and ran off whistling "Singing in the Rain."
Cheyenne found several large pills in her pocket, thought "What the h..." (If it won't kill me, it might cure me)and proceeded to swallow them, one by one.
Suddenly, a man dressed in white ran up and shouted,"You imbecile! You are taking the dobermans' Advantage--for fleas!"
Cheyenne was beginning to retch at the very thought but
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bitsandbobs
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posted on August 23, 2000 12:41:23 AM new
after scratching behind her right ear with her foot and biting her backside suddenley realised that she had talents as a contortionist.
With a spring in her step she set off to.......
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kiheicat
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posted on August 23, 2000 01:45:14 AM new
...find her old crowd, given that her newfound contortionist skills might restore her reign as x-rated queen. She walked across the lawn to the garage, and to the black convertible Vette that she wasn't sure was hers but at least the keys were in the ignition...
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tismesugie
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posted on August 23, 2000 07:03:17 AM new
Pausing only to quickly glance around, Cheyenne was reaching for the door handle when out of the dark stepped a tall, dark stranger. This stranger had a .357 Magnum--pointing straight at her!--and in a good imitation of Clint Eastwood,growled,"Go ahead. Make my day." Cheyenne
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mauimoods
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posted on August 23, 2000 08:58:53 AM new
Dropping quickly on all fours, Cheyenne proceeded to squirt him and as he fumbled and muttered about getting his clothes smelly from it, she dashed across the street, stopping every so often at a hydrant....smelling the air and curling her nose....she spotted in the distance a.......
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