posted on January 21, 2006 05:11:40 AM new
Brian Billick had put together the perfect Ravens team, missing only a stud
quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, even the Canadian and
European leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer to guarantee a Super
Bowl win.
One night he was watching a war-zone scene in Iraq on TV.
In the background of one shot, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with a
truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th story
window 100 yards away. KABOOM!
He threw another grenade 75 yards, pitching it right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another into a car passing at 90 mph.
BULL'S-EYE!
"I've got to get this guy!" Billick shouted. "He's got the perfect arm!"
He finds him and brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of
football. The Ravens go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young Iraqi is hailed as a great hero, and when Billick asks him what
he wants, he says he wants to call his mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you," the old Muslim woman snaps. "You
deserted us. You are not my son!"
"You don't understand, Mother," the QB pleads. "I've won the greatest
sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring
fans."
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment,
there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble.
The elections are a joke, your two brothers were beaten within an inch
of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house
so she doesn't get raped!"
The old lady pauses, then tearfully adds, "I will never forgive you for
making us move to Baltimore!"
Amen,
Reverend Colin http://www.reverendcolin.com
