posted on January 21, 2006 06:24:07 AM new
For those who appreciate the intricacies of the English language. The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. The following were some of this year's winning entries.
1. Coffee (n.) - a person who is coughed upon.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.) - appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.) - to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.) - to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.) - impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.) - describes a condition in which women absentmindedly answer the door in their nighties.
7. Lymph (v.) - to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.) - an olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) - the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.) - a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.) - a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.) - the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
13. Oyster (n.) - a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
14. Circumvent (n.) - the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.) - The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Pokemon (n) - A Jamaican proctologist.
posted on January 21, 2006 07:01:31 AM new
LOL!! Thanks for the laugh Dbl - it is MUCH appreciated!!
~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~
Never ask what sort if computer a guy drives. If he's a Mac user, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him? - Tom Clancy
posted on January 21, 2006 07:52:02 AM new
ROFLMAO DBL! My favorite is :13. Oyster (n.) - a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
posted on January 21, 2006 08:40:23 AM new
Maggie, I think I've mentioned it b4 but when I first met my hubby there was a bit of a language barrier and I often times felt like I was in an episode of I love Lucy. One time he was trying to get organized and told me he wanted to order this book called: the secrets of put'ing. Now I didnt think anything about it. Shrugged if off as some cutsey titled self-help book or whatever.
Weeks pass, he was doing something that jangled my memory and I say, did you ever get that book you wanted? He coils up his face up and says, "yeah, it was so stupid - it was about "gulf." So still not getting it and semi-puzzled, I say, well let me see it. It was so over my head and not obvious to me at the time, when I saw the book (leaftet really) -I laughed so hard at my own stupidity: The secrets of "putting." No wonder it was about "gulf."
posted on January 21, 2006 09:24:39 AM new
LOL That's funny DBL. I was married to a Frenchman once and I remember similar snafus in our verbal intercourse too.
Speaking of verbal misunderstandings, the present Mr.Muggins would go on hunting trips way up North in Canada, where their hired Indian guides would set up the hunts and their lodging etc. He told me whenever the natives would get into an argument they'd inevitably tell one another that they were going to kick the others h'arse. It took him a while to understand that they weren't talking about their horses.. ha ha ha
posted on January 21, 2006 10:06:31 AM new Maggie.
Somebody (on the internet, of course) just told me a Jenny is a female donkey. So be forewarned when I start calling somebody jenny round here...lol.
