posted on November 27, 2000 08:34:08 PM new
You really have to feel sorry for this poor soul....LOL
-------------------------------
This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was
printed in the Newsletter of the New Zealand equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board. This is a true story.
Had this guy died, he'd have walked away with a Darwin
Award
Dear Sir:
I am writing in response to your request for
additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "Poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working
alone on the roof of a new six-storey building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over, which, when weighed
later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand,
I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing
the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135 lbs.
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed.
This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken
collarbone, As listed in Section 3 of the accident report form.
Slowed only slightly, I Continued my rapid ascent, not
stopping until the fingers of my right hand were Two knuckles deep into the pulley.
Fortunately by this time I had regained my Presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the Excruciating
pain I was now beginning to experience.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of
bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now
devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs.I refer you again to my weight. As you might imagine, I began a Rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel comingup. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.
Here my luck began to changes lightly. The encounter
with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report,however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.
I hope this answers your inquiry.
Regards,
I assume full responsibility for my actions, except
the ones that are someone else's fault.
posted on November 27, 2000 08:38:35 PM new
He still deserves a Darwin, breaking that many bones!!! ROTFLMAO!!!!!
Or maybe if they live, they can get a Bushbrain award.
[ edited by snowyegret on Nov 27, 2000 08:41 PM ]
posted on November 27, 2000 08:58:44 PM new
Who cares...still funny as H@ll...
Keith
I assume full responsibility for my actions, except
the ones that are someone else's fault.
posted on November 27, 2000 09:51:34 PM new
This is a close relative to the "debtors letter" or a "College Girls letter home" Rich stuff for the collector of urban folklore.
If you like this kind of thing and you EVER find a copy of "Work hard and you shall be rewarded" by Alan Dundes and Carl Pagter - Buy it. It tracks and shows the changes in traditional office letters through the years. Also the drawings and diagrams printed for decades on the copiers of the nation.
Printed in the 70's - it is kind of dated - but I had a real warm spot in my heart when I saw the letter of "The President's statue and the promised land" with Bill C's name on it - and know that the letter goes back at least to the 30's and is still updated and sent around again every time we get a new president.
The "Notes on Operations Of Rotary Lawn Mowers" (Proported to have surfaced in the USDA) had my dad laughing so hard we thought we were going to have to do CPR.
If it isn't true - it should be. - Lord knows we need a laugh with all the politicians and lawyers and spin doctors all squeeling like hogs on the wrong side of a fence when the others get fed.
