scrabblegod
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posted on February 22, 2001 04:57:55 PM
Learn to work the toilet seat. If it is up, put it down. We need it up. You need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
Birthdays, Valentines' and anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect presents yet again!
If you ask a question, you don't want the answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
Sometimes we're not thinking about you. Live with it. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that way.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!
We don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on the calendar.
Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're
bound to miss sometimes.
Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
"Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a
problem. See a doctor.
Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
Check your oil.
It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.
Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic.
You can either tell us to do something OR show us how to do something, but not both.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
If it itches, it will be scratched.
Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.
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njrazd
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posted on February 22, 2001 05:07:51 PM
scrabblegod...are you my husband in disguise? 
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femme
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posted on February 22, 2001 05:14:02 PM
What?? No smiley at the end?
Boy, if there was ever a post that needed
at least 20 smilies at the end, it is this one.
From a woman who wears her hair very short and doesn't give a flying fig if her husband (or any man) doesn't like it....
BOOOOOO!!!
(Actually, I get stopped by a lot of men, complete strangers, complimenting me on my hairstyle. Go figure. )
[ edited by femme on Feb 22, 2001 05:16 PM ]
[ edited by femme on Feb 22, 2001 07:01 PM ]
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nycrocker
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posted on February 22, 2001 05:23:54 PM
High Five Femme  You go girl!!
"Gender roles" as usual huh.....
Zzzzzz snooore....
Rocker 
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december3
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posted on February 22, 2001 05:29:43 PM
Well at least I have hair. Can you imagine telling your soon to be bald husband "I don't like your head so shiny, grow it back"
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Meya
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posted on February 22, 2001 05:39:58 PM
Back in July, when I cut my 18" long hair back to 3" or less, two men I know both told me, "That is the Melissa I know, you need to wear your hair that way". Not all men like long hair.
The rest is great, and way too true.
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toke
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posted on February 22, 2001 05:44:48 PM
Men...
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sharkbaby
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posted on February 22, 2001 05:49:36 PM
...Ya can't live with them; ya can't kill them!
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toke
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posted on February 22, 2001 05:54:09 PM
What can I say...they charm me. Mostly...
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bearmom
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posted on February 22, 2001 06:00:18 PM
Guess what? We really don't live to please men. My hair is short. If hubby wants to blowdry it and curl it for me before work every morning, I'll let it grow.
You don't run the chance of falling in when you go to the bathroom in the dark so as not to wake hubby, and discover he left the seat up!
As my Granny used to say; God invented women when he realized men could not make it without help!
Can't live with 'em, can't live without-but tempted to try on occasion!
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jamesoblivion
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posted on February 22, 2001 06:02:47 PM
Most of us guys have no idea why we even get a second look.
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zilvy
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posted on February 22, 2001 06:10:05 PM
Why did God make man first?
He needed a prototype before He
could achieve perfection!
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december3
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posted on February 22, 2001 06:43:04 PM
I always tell mine-I could have done better and he could have done worse
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zkatt
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posted on February 22, 2001 07:07:32 PM
SCRABBLEGOD....Have a major tiff with the wife or girlfriend---geez.
I don't give a fig about most of the grips you listed(most are very true) cept for the "Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; its genetic" I say ogle if you must when I'm not around--doing it in my presence is disrespectful...and we woman don't take kindly to that. I'm sure men don't either.
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gravid
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posted on February 22, 2001 07:13:22 PM
Even bald women can be sexy.
You can't fixate on one feature.
Hair is a detail.
Breasts are nice but basically for babies.
Now smart - that is sexy.
Sports seem to be for those that would rather watch someone else than do it themselves.
There seems to be a lot of similarity between sports and pornography.
I would rather be in the kitchen talking about something interesting than with the men grunting and yelling as they watch football.
My high school buds never understood why when I said "You seem really nice. Can I have your number so I can ask you out?" I got it, when all their bragging about themselves and games and hints failed to produce the same thing I just asked for up front.
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femme
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posted on February 22, 2001 07:18:26 PM
And another thing...
Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes.
Think of it as target shooting. It's all in the accuracy of the aim. LOL
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nettak
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posted on February 22, 2001 07:27:58 PM
femme LOL
Zilvy ROTF
As for the rest of your little statement  . Now go and kiss and make up with your better half... LOL
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femme
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posted on February 22, 2001 07:28:49 PM
Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic.
OK, I'll give you this one.
But, remember, tit for tat.
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femme
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posted on February 22, 2001 07:32:15 PM
Hi nettak,
Cute little frog (?) you have there.
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gravid
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posted on February 22, 2001 08:15:30 PM
nettak - hanging around early aren't ypu?
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snowyegret
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posted on February 22, 2001 08:37:26 PM
Someone needs to practice writing their name in the snow more often....
oops
[ edited by snowyegret on Feb 22, 2001 08:44 PM ]
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jamesoblivion
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posted on February 22, 2001 08:40:58 PM
[ edited by jamesoblivion on Feb 22, 2001 08:41 PM ]
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therpowen
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posted on February 22, 2001 08:48:07 PM
 
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gravid
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posted on February 22, 2001 08:59:29 PM
That's as bad as a neighbor has a statue of a little boy doing his business off the bridge rail over the stream behind his house with a pump.
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stusi
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posted on February 22, 2001 09:06:26 PM
ladies-80 degrees is NOT a comfortable temperature at which to set the thermostat at night.
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snowyegret
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posted on February 22, 2001 09:08:11 PM
Stusi: I respectfully agree. Now tell my husband!!!
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Kimbonovich
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posted on February 22, 2001 09:16:17 PM
bearmom:
You would have to have your hair blowdried and curled if it was long? Hehe, I would have to if mine was short! I used to have it short, but it was a disaster!
Don't get too offended, ladies, I read that same thing in an email that was going around...I don't think it was personal.
Besides, the guys know they can't live without us!
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stusi
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posted on February 22, 2001 09:33:08 PM
short hair on the right lady is better than long hair on the wrong lady!!!!!!!!!
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Kimbonovich
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posted on February 22, 2001 09:37:45 PM
What I meant by "disaster" was not that short hair looked bad on me...it was just impossible to manage. The shorter it gets, the curlier it gets, and if it's humid, I practically have a fro.
I don't know how women with short hair do it...of course, I don't have their hair.
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therpowen
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posted on February 22, 2001 09:38:15 PM
Yes, and the right shorts on the hair lady is better than the wrong hair on the long lady.
therp
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