The Surgeon General has made a far reaching diagnosis (?) and proclaimed that the first and really only line of prevention for unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases of all types lies square in the laps of parents.
posted on June 29, 2001 01:17:38 AM
Well, it *would* be a good thing if more parents were willing & able to talk to their kids about sex. So many seem to be of the mindset that talking about sex will somehow lead to their kids running out to try it.
But, really, the mindset of society as a whole is what has really led to the "boom" in pregnancies in teenagers and/or outside of marriage. In the past there were consequences both to the mother & the child (& once in a blue moon to the father). There was shame attached. Stigma. Not any more. Not really. As a librarian I'm even scheduled to go to local high schools every year to give special presentations to *entire classes* devoted to girls who are either pregnant or who already have had their children (sometimes they're pregnant with a *second* child!)...these are "parenting" classes. Such classes wouldn't be necessary if society itself did not condone & even help unwed teens.
This sounds harsh & uncaring, doesn't it? I am not a religous person, so I'm not coming from that angle. It just seems to me that if society wants this epidemic to stop, they need to stop enabling it. Stop already with the attitude that "of course" teenagers have sex because their hormones demand it. What a crock. Society does everything it can to *tell* teens they should be rutting like rabbits in movies, on TV, in books, in ads. Society took away the stigma & provided aid & comfort. The "abstinence" route doesn't stand a chance against all that.
posted on June 29, 2001 02:38:59 AM
Oh, I suspect that long before television, radio, books, or even cave wall pictographs, teenagers were rutting like rabbits, even if there was stigma. Just in my own family, my mother told me she got married as a teenager in early 1940's because she was pregnant with my older sister. My brother, interested in his family history, discovered that both our grandmother and great grandmother had their first children extremly close to (and even a bit before) their 9th month wedding anniversaries, and he probably would have found more of the same if he could have found records further back.
People really haven't changed, it's just that used to be, people would get married, or the daughter of the family would go away to the country for some few months. Sometimes, she would go with her mother, and come back with a baby brother or sister. Or, sometimes, she'd come back alone.
posted on June 29, 2001 03:48:48 AM
The sad thing is that when you think about it, the smartest careful teens don't get caught (pregnant) while the stupidest ones do. This means the population is being increased more by stupid people than by smart people.
My parental guidelines when I was growing up: If you get knocked up accidentally, you're too young to be having sex. I was careful having sex as a teen because while I wasn't very afraid of getting pregnant, I was truly terrified of being thought of as stupid or childish by my father.
As to parents not talking to their kids about sex, well, parenting is a big job. People who aren't up to it should opt out of having kids.
posted on June 29, 2001 05:21:46 AM
Even smart people can get pregnant accidentally, my sister in law did, on birth control, with her 4th child, when she was in her forties.
Consider yourself not only smart, but lucky as well.
posted on June 29, 2001 05:37:34 AM
My apologies for sounding like I thought that every accidental pregnancy was the result of stupidity. I know that bc methods fail.
The thing is that a lot of kids think, "It won't happen to me." Not just about pregnancy, but dying from drunk driving, AIDS, etc. I don't much care how parents deal with sex specifically with their children, but I do care that they teach them that every action has a result and that they are responsible for their actions.
posted on June 29, 2001 07:56:18 AM
Yeah, I think in a large sense, most kids, and some adults, think "it won't happen to me," no matter what "it" is.
For instance, I could never really envision myself as someday being old when I was young, even though I knew I would either have to be old or be dead. And yet here I am, not dead, and some small part of me, is still pretty dern surprised about how the whole thing worked out.
posted on June 29, 2001 08:29:50 AM
We have made it so easy on teens nowadays to get pregnant and not take the responsibility that goes along with it, no wonder there is a boom of children, by children. Get pregnant and dont want it? Just dump it off at the local hospital. Change your mind after a few days? Then go back and get it. Awww, are you pregnant and no money? Apply for welfare and get it. Are you 13 and you wanted sex, and are now pregnant or have a disease? No sweat, we have programs for you and we will take care of your baby/cure your disease (if it can be cured). Education taught to you, but you still did it anyway without protection? No worries...happens all the time, you will be taken care of until you decide if you want the child or not. Even if you do decide you dont and then wait for said child to be placed in a loving home only to change your mind, thats ok. We will yank that child from that home and give it back to you because after all, YOU are its birth mother and you have rights. Preached to about morals and getting your education to the highest level you can go, but you want to watch those new shows of Sex In The City, or Temptation Island, or some other show geared to teens getting it on and how fun it is to party hardy? Sure..we aim to please. Remember, teens, its very important that you drink ***** brand beer in that keg because it means you will get all the pretty chicks/dudes and you can have fun fun fun in the snow/beach. Girls, dont forget to get those low rider pants and show off that navel; unbutton your blouse so your underdeveloped boobs show; speak with filthy words so you are "cool".
Talk about double standards. All things start at home with the parents. No, I dont blame them for kids gone wrong, because it isnt JUST the parents. Its society, too. But it starts young, at home with whomever is the first impression on a child and how that was raised, was taught. JMHO.
posted on June 29, 2001 08:46:59 AMbut you want to watch those new shows of Sex In The City, or Temptation Island, or some other show geared to teens getting it on
I don't think that Sex and the City is "geared" towards teens. I don't know where you got that. I would bet you have never watched the show to know. You are sitting on your little rock happily passing judgement again on things you know nothing about. As for "Temptation Island", I think it was geared toward moronic white trash. It went to far even for Fox.
___________________________ [email protected]
Caravaggio/confusedandsleepy are not my names at eBay.
I agree, Hepburn. Parents can have a profound influence over the behavior of children. But, as you indicated, influence outside the home is overwhelming in some cases.
With so many variables abounding, parenting is not an exact science.
When dealing with troubled children, some parents can buy their way out and those that cannot will hopefully be able to find help from the
programs that you mentioned.
posted on June 29, 2001 09:06:56 AM
And again, friends and neighbors, my opinion is met with obnoxious remarks geared towards me, and not the topic.
I guess Im just loved since my words garner such devotion as to be read and taken to heart either pro or con and responses cant be passed up from those who covet my every word.
Helen, thanks for understanding what I was saying. Yes, it starts at home, but society (television, movies, etc) needs to jump on the bandwagon to HELP the parents by acting responsibly also.
(btw, Temptation Island is coming on again this fall. Guess it wasnt TOO trashy, white or otherwise, was it?)
[ edited by hepburn on Jun 29, 2001 09:10 AM ]
posted on June 29, 2001 09:11:22 AM
[b]Im so glad you know all about me and what you perceive that I know or dont know.
This phrase has become quite popular since I started it a few months ago, and it fits very well, caravaggio: Pot, Kettle, Black[/b]
I don't perceive that you know or don't know anything. I am going from your prior posts. What I have gotten from you is that: Mentally ill people should be killed because we are a burden to society and to stop the hunger problem; all hungry women should keep their legs closed.
___________________________ [email protected]
Caravaggio/confusedandsleepy are not my names at eBay.
posted on June 29, 2001 09:15:28 AMbtw, Temptation Island is coming on again this fall. Guess it wasnt TOO trashy, white or otherwise, was it?
White trash watches TV too. It is trash TV. Anything TV show that sets out to destroy marriages is trash.
___________________________ [email protected]
Caravaggio/confusedandsleepy are not my names at eBay.
posted on June 29, 2001 09:16:38 AM
Obviously, you need comprehension reading lessons. There ARE gray areas to all things. Not just black and white. I said my opinion was this or that. I didnt claim I was right, nor was not open for debate of why I may be wrong. To be honest, I have had some doubts of my way of thinking since reading posts about the mentally ill, and have continued to re evaluate those thoughts. So sorry I didnt ask your permission first to change some thoughts. Oh, and I could also do what you are doing... I could also "presume" things about you too, caravaggio, by your own posts. Like, White Trash? You think Temptation Island was that, do you? Are you of another ethnic race, to say such a phrase? Hmmmm. (See what I mean? You know the old saying...assume..ass-u-me)
[ edited by hepburn on Jun 29, 2001 09:17 AM ]
posted on June 29, 2001 09:48:17 AM Obviously, you need comprehension reading lessons. There ARE gray areas to all things. Not just black and white. I said my opinion was this or that. I didnt claim I was right, nor was not open for debate of why I may be wrong. To be honest, I have had some doubts of my way of thinking since reading posts about the mentally ill, and have continued to re evaluate those thoughts. So sorry I didnt ask your permission first to change some thoughts. Oh, and I could also do what you are doing... I could also "presume" things about you too, caravaggio, by your own posts. Like, White Trash? You think Temptation Island was that, do you? Are you of another ethnic race, to say such a phrase? Hmmmm. (See what I mean? You know the old saying...assume..ass-u-me)
My reading is just fine, thanks for the concern. Save your concern for the people who need it(I doubt you could do that). Oh God, the things I want to say you, but can't because it would be moderated. I will say this, I was wrong. People's opinions reflect who they are. I find it very hard to believe that some people on this board have a heart.
___________________________ [email protected]
Caravaggio/confusedandsleepy are not my names at eBay.
posted on June 29, 2001 10:43:36 AM
caravaggio, if you would cease judging everything I say in a negative vein, we would get along fine. But you go out of your way to presume much about what I think and feel and most of it is wrong. As someone else said once "It isnt always about YOU".
Most of us here express our opinions and some of those opinions are not very popular. You know the other old saying "opinions are like __________(insert word here), everyone has one". I dont judge you on what you think and feel, even though I may not always agree with what you say, it doesnt reflect on what you feel INSIDE and what I have no clue of since it is inside YOU. Do me the same courtesy.
posted on June 29, 2001 09:09:46 PM
I have a friend who told her two sons that although sex was perceived as "fun" or exciting or even "expected" to keep in mind it was very serious business because everytime they had sex they were possibly "creating" a new life and they needed to think about that.....I guess they did, because both had "begat" children before they were even out of highschool!!!!!
posted on June 30, 2001 05:46:11 AM
It's all Drew Carey's fault! Everytime I surf the channels, I stop long enough to listen to the garbage they hand out. It's enough to make any kid go out and get pregnant!
Sheesh!
Yes, it does lie in the laps of the parents who are too closed minded to teach their kids about these things or are too religious to want sex education in the school system. If we, as a whole, aren't going to teach our kids about sex, let the teachers teach. If no one tells them anything, you can expect many more unwed mothers living on welfare. My kids were taught at home. They didn't have to hit the streets to learn anything. By the time they had sex education classes, they didn't snicker and snee at the teacher. The kids that were sheltered and protected by parents not wanting to discuss anything were the ones snickering. These same kids went on to have kids before graduation. Now I'm paying their way with taxes, while they're getting tax breaks for being single and having a child.
What really turned me off one day was, I talking to the high school principal and he said his son and his girlfriend were going to be giving a school presentation on having sex before marriage. They planned to bring their daughter along. This is one example of not being a sensible enough parent to talk to your son or daughter, yet trying to lead an entire high school of children. Did I want this man teaching my kids anything? Not after that I didn't. My son told me they did speak to the entire school and dismissed the fact that they had a child by saying they would be getting married one day. ONE DAY? How about before the kid was born?
JMO and please no one have to go outside, smoke and cool off. Smoking irritates your heart and lungs and could kill you. Is my opinion worth dying over?
posted on June 30, 2001 06:04:28 AM
jt, he's supposed to be a comedian who has his own show. I never found him funny, but there's a whole thread seemingly dedicated to his show, after the initial post. The thread is titled, Obscene Language.
posted on June 30, 2001 06:06:29 AM
He's a tv sitcom actor who kinda looks like Dilbert, nothing especially extraordinary about him (He's no Lenny Bruce)
