posted on May 16, 2005 06:49:46 PM new
Can't, sorry. I think it depends entirely on the individuals involved.
I can say, though, that I don't believe human beings are supposed to be alone. Probably more than a few here will disagree with that, and that's OK....just my feeling.
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Dick Cheney: "I have not suggested there's a connection between Iraq and 9/11..."
posted on May 16, 2005 07:52:02 PM newDo you only have one love in a lifetime or many?
Some have many, some have one
Is there one that is always greater than the others?
Yes, I definitly believe that, though you may not spend your lifetime with that person, I believe there is one that will always be greater than others. IMO.
Is there such a thing as a love of a lifetime, or is that a myth?
posted on May 16, 2005 08:29:27 PM newDo you only have one love in a lifetime or many?
I think people can have more than one in their lifetime...you love each in a different way...for different reasons.
Is there one that is always greater than the others?
I believe so....from what my friends and I have discussed for our own lives....usually the first person one gives their heart away to, usually remains that 'greater love'. Even if it was what some call or refer to as 'puppy love'. It will always be more special, just because they were your 'first love'.
Is there such a thing as a love of a lifetime, or is that a myth?
Yes, I believe so. Talking to many widows, who never chose to remarry and who just decided to date or be with someone for companionship...I think many decide to not remarry because they believe they'll never find anyone as special as the one they had - or than special someone just never appeared in their life.
My Mother told me years ago...of all the men she'd dated...of the four she married...there was only one 'real special love' of her life.
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Four More Years....YES!!!
posted on May 16, 2005 08:40:08 PM new
My pleasure.
I hope more post their answers....as I've sure at least the women here have discussed this with their friends too, over the years. One begins to see a pattern, I do believe.
Now the widowers I've met...they're a whole different story. They seem to have a need to 'hook up' with someone very quickly. But then they've been older men...maybe it, in part, has to do with them 'needing a woman' to take care of them like their wives did. I don't know.
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Four More Years....YES!!!
posted on May 17, 2005 05:39:44 AM new Do you only have one love in a lifetime or many?
I believe you have many. Who's to say that that love isn't your best friend, your sibling or a special child in your life? Does the love of your life necessarily have to be a spouse or boyfriend? I think it can be many people.
Is there one that is always greater than the others?
I don't think so. Certainly there are those loves you never forget and those you'd like to. There's your first love and your last. If you encompass everyone in your life that you love, you have the love of your children, if you have any. It can also be the love of your parents, your home, other family members and friends. I can't say that one has been greater than the other even in terms of significant others (i.e., spouse, boyfriend).
Is there such a thing as a love of a lifetime, or is that a myth?
I think that is a very individualized question. There are those that love just one man or woman and when that person is gone, they seek no others. There are those that after losing someone, find another they love equally as much. You hear of men and women being married for years and when one dies, the other follows shortly thereafter. Is that because they were their love of a lifetime, or is it because after many, many years you become so dependent upon that person being there that life seems worthless without them? When my grandmother died after almost 60 years of marriage to my grandfather, he remarried. I believe it was that remarriage that kept him alive for a couple more years. His words to me were that he was lonely and that's why he remarried so soon after grandma passed. He married the widow of his best friend. I'm forever grateful to her.
Good questions. Ones that really make you think about love and life.
posted on May 17, 2005 06:00:51 AM new
"Do you only have one love in a lifetime or many?"
I think you can love more then one person-however I think there are different DEGRESS of love.If you look back of all the people you dated,I dont think anyone here who could not pick out the one the loved they most. It doesnt mean you cant be happy with someone else,but I think there is always that someone special.If your lucky enough,its the one you ended up marrying.I was engaged 3 times.The first my to my highschool sweetheart-we went together for 5 years and eneded up being engaged.That didnt work out and neither did the second.I did end up marrying the third girl I was engaged to.We've been together since 1971 and I could tell you in a heartbeat which one I love the most.As Lindas mom said of the 4 men she married there was only one special love.
[ edited by classicrock000 on May 17, 2005 06:02 AM ]
posted on May 17, 2005 06:33:53 AM new
classic, i know there is different degrees of love, you are right.
engaged 3 times?? Wow. How many times were you a runaway bride?
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(or a runaway love? bet you dont remember that song. disco and all )
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[ edited by dblfugger9 on May 17, 2005 06:46 AM ]
posted on May 17, 2005 06:36:52 AM newyou hear of men and women being married for years and when one dies, the other follows shortly thereafter. Is that because they were their love of a lifetime, or is it because after many, many years you become so dependent upon that person being there that life seems worthless without them?
Cheryl, I think its an incredibly huge void to deal with. Especially if its sudden.
posted on May 17, 2005 06:45:46 AM new
lol db-actually me and my wife got married by the JP we lived together for 11 years before we got married.
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Baseball season has started,but they have it all wrong.3 strikes and you're out,4 balls you walk.I can tell you right now a man with 4 balls could not possibly walk
posted on May 17, 2005 08:05:29 AM new
classic - My younger son, has dated a number of young ladies and lived with a handful of them. But he too had NO problem telling me which girl he loved the most of all the girls he's cared for/loved when I asked him. Her name was right there on his tongue when we were discussing his upcoming wedding to the girl he's with now. So...he had that one 'special love' too....although it wasn't his first love as I have previously mentioned.
posted on May 17, 2005 09:40:30 AM new
Aren't we just following what society dictates? The rules are that you fall in love with one person at a time (if you're talking about relationships). If society didn't dictate how we're suppose to act, I wonder how many people we'd all be in love with?
posted on May 17, 2005 09:51:36 AM newAren't we just following what society dictates?
I think we're just following our own hearts...not what society dictates as we've probably all heard or read about someone who has been in love with more than one man, one woman. What society DOES dictate is how many we can marry. And that's been for the survival of the family...the purpose of having children and protecting them.
The rules are that you fall in love with one person at a time (if you're talking about relationships). If society didn't dictate how we're suppose to act, I wonder how many people we'd all be in love with?
Again, I think you may be confusing just WHAT society dictates...it doesn't dictate our hearts.
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Four More Years....YES!!!
posted on May 17, 2005 10:09:34 AM new
But Linda I think a society of nudess's (sp?/)or swappers have created their own societal rules for that, dont you? And in that circle they travel it is accepted on the whole?
I dont know what I am getting at here or where I am going but I once worked for this guy who told me he was into going to nude camps. I was younger, and he was older and he was not particularly er...rhmmm..much to look at. (All I could think is, oh god why is he telling me this? sexual harassment?). But I think he wanted to know what I thought of it and consequently him.
yes you know the end of the story......hello agency?? lol!!
posted on May 17, 2005 10:16:12 AM new
I can't agree Linda. Society conditions everyone to feel a certain way. That's why many get into trouble, because they can't abide by what society dictates. That goes for religion, politics, health, sex, etc.... imo.
posted on May 17, 2005 10:20:31 AM new
but kraft, whats acceptable in society and its boundaries etc are always moving and changing. Correct me if I am wrong, but I just dont think you particulary care for a traditionalist view?
And of course traditionalists do not care for the into the great wide open........
[ edited by dblfugger9 on May 17, 2005 10:24 AM ]
posted on May 17, 2005 10:35:32 AM new
A traditionalist? Yes, I think they live in a box that's safe for them because society gives its stamp of approval. Most traditions are religious in nature but have little to do with common sense, so as we break from tradition, we're always told we're removing ourselves from God, instead of growing as a society. I think that part's pretty messed up.
PS - OK, while Double's having a nap, how many here think she's baked?
posted on May 17, 2005 11:19:51 AM new
dbl [i]But Linda I think a society of nudess's (sp?/)or swappers have created their own societal rules for that, dont you[i]?
Sure there are those who do against the 'norm'....no law against that. That's a morality issue, imo. But no, they're not 'setting' societal rules....they're going against the 'norm'.
And in that circle they travel it is accepted on the whole? In their circles, yes.
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Four More Years....YES!!!
posted on May 17, 2005 11:25:07 AM new
LOL...not me, KD. But it appears you are breaking out of your protected 'shell' and becoming more blunt on how you really feel.
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KD - I can't agree Linda. You too, huh?
Society conditions everyone to feel a certain way. That's why many get into trouble, because they can't abide by what society dictates. That goes for religion, politics, health, sex, etc.... imo.
Yes, society has always been set up for survival...and a relationship between a man and a women, a marriage if you will...has developed as a way to support and protect the continuation of 'family'. Each member having a role that's for the benefit of the whole family.
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Four More Years....YES!!!
posted on May 17, 2005 12:14:38 PM new
I'm just teasing her, Linda. It has nothing to do with her saying I was shallow or anything.
Linda, the whole family idea is based on the Bible. Biologically, we're not meant to stay with one person so our genes get spread around. People thinking that there's suppose to be a family unit thing going on are just products of society's manipulation.
posted on May 17, 2005 12:29:25 PM new
oh sure, kraft, talk about me while I am sleeping
Biologically, we're not meant to stay with one person so our genes get spread around..
uh..hello? We're may be mammals but were not ANIMALS! -- Biologically??? Whadda-you still thinking we're in the cave man days? Me spread tribe to lands near and far!! Keep em post-toasties deposited for economic rule kingdom!
posted on May 17, 2005 12:46:12 PM new
KD - I'm just teasing her, Linda. It has nothing to do with her saying I was shallow or anything.
lol I knew that...and was teasing too. Maybe soon we'll have another Linda/helen 'sparing' team between you and dbl.
Linda, the whole family idea is based on the Bible.
KD - You're always making statements like this but never offer where you 'get' this stuff from. Maybe you could show me where cavemen/women used the Bible to base their family life on the Bible? I personally think, as you've so stated, that you have this underlying 'issue' with religion and the religious. There's something you're seeking to gain knowledge about, but in the meantime you're always pointing our how religion shouldn't be an influence in peoples lifes...decision making process. And I ask you again, "Says who?"
Biologically, we're not meant to stay with one person so our genes get spread around. LOL...Now I think you're trying to use the fact we are/can be ATTRACKED, sexually or otherwise, to more than one person at a time...and mix it with marriaging/loving more than one person.
People thinking that there's suppose to be a family unit thing going on are just products of society's manipulation.
LOL again. Maybe we need to go back a little and have you give YOUR definition of "who you see *society as being*"...because to me...the one's your claiming are 'setting these standards', let's say, are the ones that, on the whole, believe and abide by them. So, I'm REALLY having trouble getting what you meaning is exactly.
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Four More Years....YES!!!
edited for clarification
[ edited by Linda_K on May 17, 2005 12:56 PM ]
posted on May 17, 2005 12:49:15 PM new
KD - Maybe if you explain just why you choose to get married...it might clear up what you mean for me.
Did you marry for love or because you felt society was forcing you to?
Do you now, in your current live-in situation, feel society is somehow 'infrenging' on your living arrangements? Are you being criticized for it...and that's what this is all about?
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Four More Years....YES!!!
