posted on December 1, 2000 10:55:00 AM new
A couple of weeks ago I won an item. The item was intended as a Christmas gift for my nephew who lives in another country, so time was of the essence. I received the seller's EOA notice along with instructions etc. As I am in Canada and the seller is in the USA, I sent my standard "please advise total to mail the item to Canada" reply. A week goes by with no answer, so I send another email. Still no answer, so 3 days after that, another one. I sent the last one on Wednesday of this week and you guessed it ... no answer
btw, the seller does ship "internationally" ...
Now that the mailing deadline for me to get the item to my nephew before Xmas has passed, I sent the seller a very polite email this AM stating that I assumed she was not interested in completing the auction and that there were no hard feelings on my part.
Immediately, she responds to this one and tells me that she is 9 months pregnant, too busy to respond to emails, and has been in the hospital almost every day (still able to list new items tho). I mailed her a polite response wishing her good luck with her baby and that perhaps we could complete the deal when she is back from her 'ordeal'.
Now she is yelling at me (the all caps response). I am not at all concerned about any negative feedback. I am concerned about sending her money tho. If she is too busy to provide a response, she's probably too busy to pack and mail the item. Besides, it's too late
posted on December 1, 2000 11:08:36 AM new
"If she is too busy to provide a response, she's probably too busy to pack and mail the item. Besides, it's too late."
Tell her this ... that if her pregnancy complications were enough to prevent her from answering emails in time to make the postal deadlines for Christmas mailings, you are no longer interested in completing the auction. And gtell her to stop emailg you, because she missed the window of opportunity.
posted on December 1, 2000 11:15:32 AM newRB...Let it go, since it is already too late anyway...She sounds like she is suffering from "PostPartum", exept hers is "PrePartum"... I believe I would stay away from her..might be worth the feedback, to which you can respond anyway...
******************** Gosh Shosh!
posted on December 1, 2000 11:16:00 AM new
While everyone is human, and pregnancy seems to be a fairly good excuse (unless her feedback reflects many pregnancy excuses for slow responses, shipping, etc.), you didn't do anything wrong here.
Since the item can no longer be shipped to your nephew in time for xmas, and you don't care about a negative feedback, I think you can legitimately back out of this deal.
eBay however will probably sanction you when they get her FVF credit request. If you're not in the habit of backing out of deals, one of these won't do anything to you. If it's worth your time, you could always write to eBay and explain your side.
eBay says the buyer and seller should contact each other within 3 days. You gave her plenty of time to send you shipping info. She blew this one, and her screaming at you in all caps doesn't change that.
posted on December 1, 2000 11:31:02 AM new
IMO you should have no obligation to complete the transaction with this seller. She dropped the ball. It looks like you're both in for negative feedback, eh?
Slightly off-topic, but... this is why the statistics show that women make something like 70 cents for every dollar men make. If men got pregnant instead of women the stats would be reversed.
posted on December 1, 2000 11:32:44 AM new
Well, since she didn't contact you within 3 business days you can back out. If she files a NPB, you can appeal it.
I don't buy the pregnancy excuse. If some complications occured during the middle of her pregnancy then that would be an acceptable excuse. But after 9 months!? No way! That's when babies are supposed to come. There's nothing unexpected about it. When I go on vacation, I make sure that all my auctions end at least a week before I leave. If I was a pregnant woman, I certainly wouldn't have any auctions ending near my due date.
posted on December 1, 2000 01:35:41 PM newbkmunroe: Not that I'm condoning what this seller is doing, but apparently you've never had a pregnancy that took a turn for the worse in the last month or go longer than nine months.
posted on December 1, 2000 03:51:48 PM new
Thanks all
It was actually a Yahoo auction (I came to this forum 'cause you folks are a little smarter!). I have decided to pass on the auction - just a bit nervous about sending money to someone who doesn't have the time (or the courtesy) to respond to my emails, especially when I am trying to give her some money. I do so little on Yahoo anyway, and it's such a dumb auction site, that any negs there don't matter to me. I just felt bad having to cancel a committment, and I wanted some support. I honestly believe I did what is reasonable to try to complete this auction.
posted on December 1, 2000 03:53:39 PM new
IF she's 9 months along you can tell her she has a week at most to send your item. After all, she should have had the baby by then. I wonder if she'll still be using the same excuse at 10 months.
When I first read the title I thought you got pregnant through an ebay transaction. What a let-down. I was really looking forward to that story.
posted on December 1, 2000 06:58:48 PM new
Shosh: Ok, you got me there.
How about this approach. Email the seller and tell her no nookie until she sends your item. This will either be an incentive program or an excellent excuse for the seller to use on her husband. After all, she was pretty short with you, she may be looking for an excuse. Maybe this wasn't a good idea after all.
posted on December 2, 2000 06:34:53 AM new
I just felt I had to respond to this thread. I am almost seven months pregnant and do not feel this woman's excuse isvalid. I used to list about 10 auctions per week, in the last 2 months as I started having more and more doctor's appointments due to complication it has dwindled until I list maybe 3 items a week at most. After christmas I probably won't list anything it is something that can be packaged up easily and addressed so my husband cann take it to the post office in case I am unable to.
This ladies reaching her 9th month is not an unexpected development that she should have planned. Don't let her use the pregnancy as an excuse. An working expectant mother has to plan her maternity leave accordingly whether she is self employed or works outside the home.
posted on December 2, 2000 07:54:37 AM new
You go, Sweil. Actually, my comments were made tongue-in-cheek but the fact is that this woman posted the items and has a responsibility to get them shipped. She knew she was pregnant and she knew just how pregnant she was.
posted on December 2, 2000 09:56:12 AM new
Similar thing is happening to me right now - although my seller did not give me a reason as to why it is taking so long to reply with address or shipping amount.
Its been about 8 or 9 days since auction ended (Ive stopped counting) and I won't have my items for Christmas now.
posted on December 2, 2000 10:55:30 AM new
Must be something in the air! I've got another one going. Won a car pin for my son and I have tried to 'pry' the shipping into out of the seller a few times since winning with zero success - again, not even the courtesy of a response.
What's wrong with these sellers? I can almost guarantee that if I delay payment, I'll hear about it. I don't know what else I can do except go to the brick & mortar stores and pick up these unique items, in which case, I won't have any money left to pay these folks if and when they ever do get around to responding
posted on December 3, 2000 07:42:13 AM new
Update: Seller has contacted me. Great, I'll pay by CC but...he also informs me that he is going out of state for a week. oh brother! My stuff will arrive in January.
posted on December 6, 2000 08:26:52 AM new
*** UPDATE ***
Seller just informed me that has a brand new baby girl! She has also had her other half mail the item so at least I can have it by Xmas (I'll phone my nephew on Xmas day and tell him what he'll be getting belatedly). And, she has told me that if the item and delivery are OK, then I can send her the money.
Can't complain about that - I sent her the dough this morning and wished her happiness with her new friend!
posted on December 6, 2000 08:53:56 AM new
On a completely different tangent, I find it very depressing how cynical we are nowadays about seller stories when there are problems.
I've read in other threads a person complaining because they seller was in the hospital with a sick child, their house burnt down, a death in the family (not all the same seller 8)), etc, and the buyer lays into them about it.
Real life has priority over auction activity sometimes. I know we've all had buyers and sellers give us the excuses, and we've probably gotten to the point that we just don't believe that we're being told the truth anymore.
Its one thing to come to a friendly understanding that this event has thrown a curve ball into the works, and we either work around it or void the transaction. But I've heard some horror stories of people already having a difficult time being slammed in email by upset buyers/sellers who obviously don't believe their problem is real.
posted on December 6, 2000 09:45:25 AM new"she responds to this one and tells me that she is 9 months pregnant, too busy to respond to emails"
Give me a break. If she is that bad then she shouldn't be selling. There are times even at 6 months that I can hardly drag myself out of bed or away from the commode but I would never use that as an excuse to ignore a buyer of one of my auctions. Yes being pregnant is very hard especially at 9 months. But if she was able to list auctions then she should have no trouble replying to her email.
Who is going to believe me when it is my turn? No one thanks to this seller.
RB, you are a good person for putting up with that seller. If everything worked out ok then you did the right thing.
posted on December 6, 2000 10:30:52 AM new
Definitely if someone gives an excuse, ANY excuse, and continues to list auctions while claiming to be out of the loop for answering email, I'm suspicious.
Just wanted to point out a couple of things, though (of course, irrelevant if she's still listing): complications CAN and DO surface in the last months of pregnancy (hemoragging, bedrest issues, not all people want to run for an induction or c-section when it's still safe to let nature take it's course, and sometimes bedrest is prescribed in situations like that, vs. bringing about the birth), and pregnancy CAN last longer than 9 months. My second born was conceived in Late November, Due late August, but born in mid September. Yes, I was miserable and huge, and he was nearly 11 pounds (10lbs, 13 oz), and technically 21 days "late", born naturally (without induction or medications) after 32 hours of labor.
Of course, I quit running auctions about month 8, though, being too miserable to do much of anything in the Texas summer heat, even in the A/C, as caring for my (then) 5 year old was a big enough job at the time... but just wanted to correct some misconceptions in this thread!!
I believe I would stay away from her..might be worth the feedback, to which you can respond anyway...