posted on February 15, 2001 08:18:27 AM new
There's a great new software on the horizon. It's one fantastic piece of software that does everything. It's a great spreadsheet, an auction loader and tracker that works with every auction on earth, a bookkeeping system, automatic emails, profit and loss, wordprocess. You can even surf adult sites while simultaneously blocking your children from doing the same.
And best of all: this software is FREE FOR ALL TIME. The developer has all the API he needs. He's offering a free website. You can even live there forever more.
There is one small catch: The software developer is named Lucifer. The price of his free software? Your soul. . .
Sign on at hww.hell.org (that's the hell wide web). No fees, other than your soul. No upgrades. No high heating bills . . .
posted on February 15, 2001 08:55:13 AM new
Reminds me of the joke:
Bill Gates dies. He is met by Peter, Guardian of Heaven, who says:
"We're in a bit of a quandry. On the one hand, you did invent Windows, which is a wonderful thing, and what we use up here in heaven. On the other hand, all the bugs are driving us crazy. Since we're not sure whether to call you "good" or "bad", we'll give you a choice: Heaven or Hell."
Bill asks "how do I choose?".
Peter says that he will give him a tour of Heaven, and Lucifer will give a tour of Hell, and then Bill makes his choice - but its a final decision.
So Peter takes Bill around Heaven, where people are lying on clouds, playing harps, etc. Its nice of course, but not very exciting.
So then Lucifer show Hell to Bill: wild women in skimpy bikinis surround the men, shamelessly flirting with them on a warm, sandy beach. People are playing vollyball, drinking beer, and just plain having a great time.
"Umm, Heaven is nice, but Hell seems pretty exciting, so I'll take Hell".
He is instantly transported to a fiery pit, where devils poke the tortured souls with pitchforks. As he is being led off, he protests "hey, where is the beach and women in bikinis?"
"Oh", says Lucifer, "that was the Demo Version of Hell. There were a few changes when we released the final version..."
