posted on March 11, 2001 10:08:20 AM
Let's have some fun with this...buyers AND sellers can post their favorites! Since I have been only a buyer for the past 3 years, I will start with:
1: "Don't have batteries to test with..." MEANS:"It DOESN'T work but maybe you will think it does!"
2: "Shipping & handling to be determined after auction ends"
MEANS: "If I don't get a GOOD price, just wait to see what I charge for 'handling'!!"
3: "Click here to read my other terms..."
MEANS: "I have so many rules and stipulations and threats included that only Donald Trump's pre-nup agreements are longer!"
4: "MO or cashiers checks ONLY!"
MEANS: "You can trust ME with your win & your money & that I will pack it correctly & ship it timely...but YOU can't be trusted to balance a checkbook!"
5: "Actual shipping" <without a cost!>
MEANS: "I consider 'actual' to include $1 each for the 3 peanuts I will use; $3 for gas to the PO; $2 for shoe leather & standing-in-line fees; and $5 because I didn't get any last night!"
That should get us started.....add as you like BUT remember that this is FOR FUN so we can all vent a little without getting personal!
hApPy aUcTiOnS!!!!!
Same Kawfee-n-Junque as on eBay...I aint afraid of who I am!
posted on March 11, 2001 10:15:30 AM
ROFLMAO!! I always like the "RARE" items that I can name 10 sites off the top of my head where you can buy the same item retail, and usually cheaper.
Citygirl
I've always been crazy, but it's kept me from going insane!
posted on March 11, 2001 10:31:27 AM
1. "See auction for shipping cost..." MEANS "You will spend 10 minutes reading through the longest TOS in existenance and still won't find the shipping they did NOT list".
2. "Near Mint (in reference to Collectable Card Games) ..." MEANS "I haven't played with it that much, and you will probably be able to use it in a deck, but if you collect the cards, forget it."
3. "Picture says it all ..." MEANS "I'm to lazy to describe it, as well as being to lazy to take a good picture, but you should bid on it anyway."
posted on March 11, 2001 10:40:33 AM
***THE PAYMENT IS IN THE MAIL... means....I'm buying myself some time and hoping you will forget that I never paid...
***I MAILED YOU PAYMENT 2 DAYS AGO, WHERE IS MY ITEM?....means....I did't pay (and I'm not going to) but I want you to ship the item to me anyways...
***I WILL LEAVE YOU FEEDBACK.. means.. I'll leave you feedback after you leave one for me...
***DO YOU TAKE PAYPAL?...means... I'm a moron and am just too lazy to read your terms that clearly state NO PAYPAL....
posted on March 11, 2001 11:03:19 AM
OOP videos; I just bought a Land Before Time VII with that in the description. It just came out a couple of weeks ago?! I did get a good deal though.
posted on March 11, 2001 04:20:38 PM
"serious bidders only"----it really means 'if I have one more deadbeat I'm going to go postal and you'll see it on the nightly news'
"this dress was only worn a couple of times"----yeah--a couple of times, once when you were cooking bacon and once when you had to do that emergency tire change in the rain at the side of the highway
"click here to join my mailing list of upcoming Fiestaware offerings"---as well as daily updates on Uncle Edgar's colon cancer, Bible selections, chain letters, and urban myths.
"i've had this sitting around for a while and I thought I'd pass it along to a good home for someone else to use"---'I bought it at Goodwill yesterday, and squealed with JOY over my $ure thing"
posted on March 11, 2001 04:27:20 PM
I love when the title and the beginning of the description say PERFECT, MINT, or LIKE NEW! and then as you continue to read, they qualify it with JUST ONE SMALL CRACK, MINOR CRAZING, ONLY MISSING ONE PIECE, HANDLE REGLUED .........
posted on March 11, 2001 04:40:32 PM
"OOOH!! OOOH! OOOH! Mr. Kotter, I just thought of some more!!"
"Attic Fresh Find" means: Great Aunt Bertha FINALLY kicked off and us greedy heirs are listing the WHOLE estate on eBay while the rest of the family is making funeral arrangements!
"Needs cleaned.....will leave that up to the buyer" means: I am far too lazy to even attempt to scrape off an inch of dirt, dust, and chicken droppings but this IS a rare piece so you should bid REALLY high....even more than you would pay for it cleaned up in a high-end antique shop!
"Old store stock" means: I just finished cleaning out an old Kressge's store basement in some podunk town and if this brings ANYwhere near what I think it will, I am listing the other 50!
Same Kawfee-n-Junque as on eBay...I aint afraid of who I am!
posted on March 12, 2001 02:15:41 PM
Have to add THIS one after latest auction win:
"See description for methods of payment"
MEANS: "I was to lazy to put it IN my description, but you should have JUST KNOWN that I expect you to run 12 miles to your bank & pay an extra $5 for a MO!!!"
Sorry, but not THIS time buck-O !!!
Same Kawfee-n-Junque as on eBay...I aint afraid of who I am!
