posted on May 21, 2001 05:34:54 PM new
I've been browsing items more than usual lately and have noticed a lot of listings in which the seller will say that they are selling their items to pay for [insert a family member and a terminal illness here] and want to spend their last days with them without being scared of all the bills they will owe and on and on.
I suppose the seller thinks that this will get people to bid more and higher since they are contributing to a good cause, but I have had the opposite reaction. I am extremely skeptical of such listings.
How do you feel about auction listings that practically beg you to bid because they need the money for their aunt's insulin or chemo treatment?
I found it very sad that my first thought was that it wasn't true.
posted on May 21, 2001 05:41:36 PM new
I know the pain of having a family member in chemo. I am going thru it right now, but I wouldn't put it in our auctions.
posted on May 21, 2001 06:09:14 PM new
maybe they are doing it as way to show the background/ authenticity.
my wifes mother recently moved out of her house of 40 years..I listed things as from the estate of 84 year old mother in law just to show some authenticity,,,Not something I picked up at a thrift store.
posted on May 21, 2001 06:47:48 PM new
I've seen a lot of those auctions by a seller that sells in the same categories that I do.
I can't put my finger on the reason, but my first reaction was "how tacky!" Then I felt bad for feeling that way, because I'm sure the family needs the money.
If these are items that actually belong to the terminally ill person (or family), with the information being given in the description so that potential bidders would know the background of the item, I could understand it. But at least some of this particular seller's auctions are for multiple, identical items listed in Dutch auctions, so it's highly unlikely that all these items are personal possessions.
I guess my initial "how tacky" reaction comes from the fact that the person's illness is advertised in the titles of the auctions, instead of being discretely mentioned in the description itself. It just seems to be classier to keep things more "low key", IMO. Just a little note at the end of the description would have been sufficient, I think.
Edited to add: Just wanted to mention that the ID I use here is NOT my auction ID.
posted on May 21, 2001 07:02:18 PM new
I think it's extremely tacky, like the seller is hoping to gain extra profits from using the family member's illness as a selling tool. And, whether there even IS an illness is another question.
posted on May 21, 2001 08:06:56 PM new
I think it's tacky as well. There's one seller who is advertising for money for her daughter's headstone. This is the tackiest I've come across. But this seller has also, how can I put this nicely, begged for money for everyone within 50 feet of her home, from her hairdresser to a "neighbor" she accidently met while walking.
I feel sorry for most people and tend to believe their stories, but sometimes they get to be too much to believe.
posted on May 21, 2001 08:31:02 PM new
I view theese the same as people whose listings start these items came from my 90 year old Aunt, grandmother, Neighbor Etc..
As though this is supposed to add to the authenticity.
One seller must have tons of old people dying weekly because every one of her 100+ auctions a week. Starts theese came from my 80 year old aunts house or I recently aquired these while cleaning my Grandmothers house. The funny thing is some of the crap she sells is not more then 10-15 years old.
I never disclose where I dig up my stuff.
As far as disclosing family illness that is just tacky.
Joe B
posted on May 21, 2001 08:34:11 PM new
This is a releated issue - what about seller's who devote their auction pages to religous messages and/or enclose religous flyers in their packages.
I'm a devout Methodist but was raised that a person's relationship with the diety or belief of their choice is their business and private. I've had several sellers either send me e-mails or religous literature in packages about home bible study, finding Christ, etc (NOTE: These were not religous items - everything from sewing patterns to a computer book).
I respect their beliefs and their right to have them but the whole thing just makes me a uncomfortable. If an auction mentions religon in the ad, I don't bid because I know what else is coming down the pike. A woman at my church called me a hypocrite. I'm not - it's just not very business like and the whole thing just feels "off."
posted on May 21, 2001 08:51:29 PM new
I thought information as to where an item came from was a good idea...isn't that called "provenance"? I sell some items for elderly friends of mine (I would NEVER make any pleas for funds due to illness, etc. I, too, think that's pretty tacky) and if I know that it came to Kansas in a covered wagon from Illinois, I'll put that in the description. I've found that buyers like to know the "stories" behind the items they're bidding on...at least that's been my experience.
posted on May 21, 2001 09:06:22 PM new
I had food poisoning on Sunday. I thought it should be worth some sympathy bids, but I couldn't get away from the bathroom long enough to list any items.
"AWESOME DEAL!!! FOOD POISONING!!! GUT WRENCHING DRY HEAVES!!! PLEASE HELP!!!"
posted on May 21, 2001 09:12:55 PM new
Why do I expect any minute someone's going to come in here & accuse all of us of being insensitive to the "health challenged"?
posted on May 21, 2001 09:14:26 PM newI've found that buyers like to know the "stories" behind the items they're bidding on...at least that's been my experience.
Ditto. Quite often I'll have customers ask me more about the piece & where I acquired it. I have no problem telling bidders where my items came from, be it from an auction, or the little ol lady down the street.
posted on May 21, 2001 09:17:10 PM new
When I grew up I was taught that there are some things one just keeps private. Family illness or loss is certainly one of them, unless it's disclosed in a very discreet manner. I can't imagine advertising something like that to total strangers.
posted on May 21, 2001 09:18:35 PM new
A pre-estate sale perhaps??
If the seller has good FB and the item is something I'm interested in, I bid as usual and don't hesitate to ask questions for fear of "interupting" them...
IMO, most of us put the money we make to good purpose...and we all are vulnerable to illness and death...part of being human...
I don't make sympathy bids.....but do empathize with people's troubles...
posted on May 21, 2001 09:33:22 PM newSid - If someone included a religious tract in a package I bought, I wouldn't be able to NEG her/him fast enough! Unreal!
[ edited by angel4u on May 21, 2001 09:34 PM ]
I think it's SOOO tacky to put something like that in an auction. If you're hoping for a good price, get good pictures, write a dynamite description (with good grammar, plenty of keywords, etc.), put it in the right category, and watch the bids roll in.
Another thing I hate is when I see in someone's description that "it's been in my family for years" or "I inherited this from my great-aunt" and you can see from their completed purchased that they bought it on eBay a couple of weeks before they listed it. Makes me wanna puke!!
posted on May 21, 2001 09:46:34 PM new
this ebay problem is one I deal with all too often in my real-life job too. I work in social services helping people on government assistance get jobs so they can get off assistance. we have clients who when asked in an interview 'tell me a little about yourself', will launch into a huge laundry list of their illnesses/misfortunes. Some people do this because they need to unburden themselves and genuinely don't realize that it's a turn-off to many, while others do it more deliberately hoping that people will give them a job out of guilt or sympathy. I think it's the same thing with Ebay sellers. In both kinds of cases I think it's very unprofessional. Some people just don't know how to separate their personal and professional lives!! (even if they ARE just doing this as a hobby!)
posted on May 21, 2001 10:05:37 PM new
sasoony - I couldn't have said it better! You are hysterical!!!!! Definitely made my night - I am still laughing....
posted on May 21, 2001 10:26:50 PM new
I've run across a few of the auctions mentioning a family illness, and I have to admit, it struck me as being in rather poor taste. I mean, if I went into Sears to buy something, and the clerk started telling me how she was dying of cancer, and really needed to make this commission so she could pay her medical bills... I'd feel really uncomfortable.
I'm also quite put off by the ultra-religious auctions -- and the buyers who enclose religious materials with their payment. I sell a lot of items to Christian families, and while I respect what they believe, I don't share those beliefs, and no amount of preaching is going to convert me.
I'm not offended by something like "God Bless You" in an auction listing or a note from a buyer, but when I have to dig through religious tracts to find my payment, or scroll through Scripture, I get a little irked. I usually just mutter under my breath and move on, but I was once quite tempted to say something to a customer who sent nearly a dozen religious tracts.
posted on May 21, 2001 10:57:33 PM new
I guess some people may sell because they are desperate and really need money but I don't think it should be mentioned in the auction. With others it may just be a scam.
We have received religious tracts a few times with payments and also a couple of times in our packages. We just toss them in the garbage. Several times a year we find them in our shop as "well meaning" people have dropped them onto a table or a display. So we take them away quickly before a customer thinks they are ours.
Last year someone on ebay was selling things out of an old lady's trunk. Week after week they listed items, all out of that same trunk. We kept saying that it must have been a very huge one. I wonder if they have emptied it yet?
posted on May 22, 2001 04:37:51 AM new
I understand the different points of view here.
My recent experience with this has been my own auctions on Ebay. I really did get a bunch of stuff from my deceased grandparent's attic. Neat vintage aviation items. Both grandparents had aviation careers (one was a ground instrument flight instructor and one was a Delta mechanic). I thought that it would help people understand the history of these items better. Also, some of the things would not have been available to the general public, so I thought it might help people understand how I got them also.
I also had a few of my granddaddy's old business cards and I included one in some of the packages that I sent out that were his old things. I hope this didn't turn anyone off.
I once sold a set of sterling silverware last year and the winner wanted me to write her a letter explaining the family history of how I inherited it. For the amount she spent, I didn't mind at all. In fact, I really enjoyed the activity of writing down personal history that other people would be interested to know.
Some of the fake sympathy pleas are tacky, but I hope that my potential bidders have been seeing my activity in more of a historical context than a sympathy context.
posted on May 22, 2001 05:19:05 AM new
I recently sold some items from my late father's estate where there was some historical information to go along w/the item.
These were unique items where he was the original copyright owner.
I mentioned they were "from the estate of the copyright owner" but tried to place the most emphasis on the historical & background information.
I guess I could have put "L@@K DEAD PARENT! GREAT DEALS!!" in the title but like RainyBear, I was brought up to understand there are certain things just not discussed outside one's immediate circle.
posted on May 22, 2001 06:24:11 AM new
Siddielou, Angel4you-
I couldn't agree more! But what about when the BUYER sends a religious tract with their payment? I was offended (I am not Christian), but I bit my tongue, sat on my hands, and gave positive feedback for prompt payment. Perhaps after she leaves feedback, I'll send a short, polite email, telling her that some people (like me) find her message intrusive.
rca001
posted on May 22, 2001 08:41:40 AM new
I agree with everyone who feels that citing a family illness in descriptions is very tacky. As a buyer, I tend to flee from these sob stories; legitimate information is one thing, but overt pleas for sympathy are not professional.
However, I agree with blueyes29 and the others who believe that some information about an item's background/history, or provenance, is acceptable.
As was the case with skip555, I ended up with lots of "family" items from three deceased relatives (mother, aunt and uncle) who died recently within a three-year period. My sister has listed a lot of these items on eBay and I've done the write-ups for them.
Please see the thread "When a buyer asks where did you get it?" --- in it, I referred to stating in item descriptions the fact that the item belonged to my late mother (or to my late grandmother, whose things my mother and aunt had). I see nothing wrong with stating a fact such as that; for example, because I know my grandmother died in 1969, I can at least cite an end-date for an item's age. This information is not stated to solicit sympathy but rather to provide as much information as I can about any given piece's history. (But no, I will not state the cause of death --- just the year!)
In addition, I devote a lot of time to researching "known" objects such as Fenton and Westmorland glass.
While I understand the cynicism of some people concerning so-called family items, believe me, it's possible to have hundreds of them. My attic, which has 900 square feet of floor space, was, at one time, filled with boxes of "things" that had belonged to my mother, aunt, uncle and grandmother. Sale of those things, in combination with things that my sister and I kept from our childhoods, has resulted in 1,700+ sales on eBay, and we haven't fudged the truth in the write-ups for any of them.
posted on May 22, 2001 09:15:58 AM new
And then there are the BUYERS who insist that their payment was late/non-existent because a family member died/was sick or they themselves were ill/broke a leg/lost their job/had a bad breakfast that day...
posted on May 22, 2001 09:17:31 AM new
Rainybear - perfect.....thanks.
I was particularly offended by a seller who listed an endless assortment of fabric pieces, "from my blind grandmother's chest, vintage fabric, each unique, buy it now!"
No wonder she's blind, thousands of yards of fabric on her chest? She wasn't getting enough air!
Now, seriously, no one start in yelling I should have more compassion for the elderly/ill/dying/unfortunate etc. This is not the time or place, in a sale. These 'heart-wrenching' details are added only to BOOST SALES and I resent it. I can't get away from them fast enough. and granny's still blind, anyway.
posted on May 22, 2001 09:23:12 AM new
If I want to honor a sick or deceased family member in one of my auctions, I'll say that the proceeds from the auction will be donated to [applicable medical research group], and that the high bidder should plan to pay with a money order payable to that charity. I'd pick up shipping.
I can't see any other way it would be appropriate to mention it. But that's just me.
