posted on July 3, 2002 03:13:24 PM new
[i]There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children, she didn't know what to do.
She gave them some broth,
Without any bread,
Whipped them all soundly, and sent them to bed[/i]
Recently I mentioned an instance where a child died after being left in a car. In today's Washington Post it seems as if the father is passing some of the blame to one of his sons.
"The Manassas father of 13 who left his 21-month-old daughter in the family's van in May told police that his eldest son was supposed to be watching the toddler and acknowledged that he didn't once ask about her as she overheated and died, according to documents filed yesterday in Prince William County Circuit Court.
The documents portray a family in which the oldest children were taking increasing responsibility for the care of their siblings. Early last year, that led the family's eldest daughter to a mental breakdown and hospitalization, during which she told doctors that she "thought she had too much responsibility and complained about it," the documents say."
posted on July 3, 2002 03:37:06 PM new
These stories are always so very, very sad. I can't begin to imagine how Anthony is feeling about himself at this time. Not only because he was supposed to be watching the other child, but now it sounds like his father is trying to squarely place the blame, for this death, on his shoulders.
I don't know what the answer is. But the justice system is going to have to start handing out severe consequences.
I struggle with this case. I've also know many large families where the older children do help out with the younger ones all the time with no negative results. I baby sat for others at the age of 11-12, and I knew enough to 'watch' them at all times.
These parents don't seem to understand their responsibilities to protect their children.
posted on July 3, 2002 03:50:27 PM new
Can't spell his child's name
Makes the kids, but they are not his responsibility.
Passes blame to son, and not just once.
Did errands, laundry, tried to fix fence, made lunches, but never noticed a toddler wasn't there to eat lunch.
Obviously can't take care of them but won't use any form of birth control
Eldest daughter has breakdown and requires hospitalization from too much responsibility.
Other incidents of young children unsupervised.
I would not describe this family as stable. In fact, I have no problem in making a value judgement here. A parent who does not even notice a missing toddler or ask about her for 7 hours is an unfit parent.
When mine is quiet for 5 minutes, I know she's up to something.
You have the right to an informed opinion -Harlan Ellison
posted on July 3, 2002 03:58:59 PM new
But, Helen, I imagine his wife watches them most of the time - woman's place and all.
Linda_K, I can't imagine a parent even remotely blaming his son under these circumstances. It's a horrendous charge for a parent to face. But to turn around and blame his son!! Unthinkable.
I was an oldest child who had to babysit far more than I wanted to as a preteen and teenager. I think that's the strongest factor in my not having children. I felt that I had raised enough of them by the time I graduated high school. Parents of large families should accept the fact that THEY made that choice. Though I believe that children should do chores, I think the main responsibilty belongs to the parents.
[ edited by saabsister on Jul 3, 2002 04:01 PM ]
posted on July 3, 2002 04:05:48 PM new
Helen, but the woman could? I work with parents. A man and a woman can take equally good care of their children. I couldn't tell from the article if the mother was present in the previous instances mentioned.
You have the right to an informed opinion -Harlan Ellison
posted on July 3, 2002 04:17:27 PM new
Snowegret, this is what the local politicians had to say shortly after the incident. I hope these comments come back to bite 'em in the a$$.
"But state Sen. Charles J. Colgan (D-Prince William), who called Ebert on Kelly's behalf, said he knows firsthand how easy it is to lose track of a child. In a sympathy letter to the family, he recounted the time he and his wife and children were at a park with another family when a thunderstorm came up suddenly and everyone fled in the cars, leaving a toddler behind in the rain. "Believe me, I can see how these things can happen," said Colgan, who also attends All Saints.
Marshall, too, said what happened to the Kellys could happen to anyone in a moment of distraction. "Mary and Joseph lost Jesus for three days," he said, recounting the New Testament story of Jesus lingering behind to talk to the elders, "and God himself picked them."'
http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn?pagename=article&node=&contentId=A22290-2002Jun9
posted on July 3, 2002 04:41:08 PM newBut the family's many friends and acquaintances at All Saints, the state's largest Catholic parish with more than 5,000 families, and Seton, a lay Catholic school nearby, are struck by the irony of Kelly being charged with neglect when he seemed to spend every spare moment with his children.
Mary, his wife, was visiting her critically ill father in Ireland with their eldest daughter, Marie, 19, when Frances died. Usually, Mary supervised the care of the younger children, while Kevin, a construction engineer, was heavily involved in the older children's schedules. He volunteered for school coaching jobs to be with them and two years ago organized a girls junior varsity soccer team for players not skilled enough to make the varsity squad, including two of his daughters.
"This is not the kind of man to go golfing or out to a bar -- this is the kind of man who wants to spend time with his family," said Dan Vanderwoude, Seton's athletic director, who also belongs to All Saints and has known the family more than 10 years. "We see this man who is giving of himself, who works a full-time job, then comes home and gives himself to his family. We see that on a daily basis."
Of course, I may be wrong because I haven't followed this story but it looks like a tragic accident to me. It's not unusual that a family with 13 children would be chaotic at times.
So.....I suppose that now there will be a call for jailing and sterilizing the parents.
posted on July 3, 2002 05:00:49 PM new
Helen, they probably would make good , involved parents to a smaller family. I don't see how it benefits a couple to have so many children that the children end up neglected - even if that neglect is unintentional.
posted on July 3, 2002 05:06:35 PM newschool coaching jobs to be with them and two years ago organized a girls junior varsity soccer team for players not skilled enough to make the varsity squad, including two of his daughters.
So in his volunteer work, he supervises enough kids to make up a team. He's capable of supervision there, but not at home?
I'd like to see some more facts in this case. But the points I presented in my post above, especially the previous instances where the girl was out in the street and the boy was left in a video store show a pattern. As to jailing, we don't have all the facts yet. That is up to the jury. And there are other methods besides sterilization to stop reproduction that are not permanent.
And I think he's a weasel for blaming his son.
You have the right to an informed opinion -Harlan Ellison
posted on July 3, 2002 07:23:00 PM new
One of the significant factors we must take into account here is the fact that the generosity of women has reached a point of amazement.
