posted on August 5, 2007 09:59:51 AM new
Hillary Clinton said that her childhood dream was to be an Olympic athlete. But she was not athletic enough. She said that she wanted to be an astronaut, but at the time they didn't take women. She said she wanted to go into medicine, but hospitals made her woozy. Should she be telling people this story? I mean she's basically saying she wants to be president because she can't do anything else. - Jay Leno
Top Democrats have mixed feelings about Sen.Hillary Clinton running for president. Apparently, some Democrats don't like the idea, while others hate it. - Conan O'Brien
In a fiery speech this weekend, Hillary Clinton wondered why President Bush can't find the tallest man in Afghanistan. Probably for the same reason she couldn't find the fattest intern under the desk. - Jay Leno
Hillary Clinton's 506-page memoirs have come out. So much of her personality shines through, that in the end, you, too, will want to sleep with an intern." - Craig Kilborn
In Hillary Clinton's new book "Living History," Hillary details what it was like meeting Bill Clinton, falling in love with him, getting married, and living a passionate, wonderful life as husband and wife. Then on page two, the trouble starts." - Jay Leno
In the book, she says that when Bill told her he was having an affair, she said: "I could hardly breathe, I was gulping for air." No, I'm sorry, that's what Monica said. - David Letterman
CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it. - Jay Leno
Hillary Clinton is the junior senator from the great state of New York. When they swore her in, she used the Clinton family Bible--the one with only seven commandments. - David Letterman
It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived.George S. Patton
posted on August 5, 2007 10:16:57 AM new
I never understand why Hilary cant just ditch Bill and marry a very wealthy man and lives the life of a rich #*!@??
She is smart,attractive,and has seen the world and know where the bodies are buried,successful men need women like that!
*
Lets all stop whining !
*
posted on August 6, 2007 11:47:02 AM new
"I never understand why Hilary cant just ditch Bill and marry a very wealthy man and lives the life of a rich #*!@??
She is smart,attractive,"
ATTRACTIVE???? Are we talking about the same women here????....oh you must mean
Hillary Duff..
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If you dont want to hear the truth....dont ask the question.
"The Washington Post reports that Senator Hillary Clinton is trying to win the Democratic nomination by reaching out to women. After hearing this, Bill Clinton said, 'Oh sure, when she does it, it's okay.'" --Conan O'Brien
"According to a biography of Hillary by Carl Bernstein, Bill Clinton planned to divorce Hillary. And when asked why she stayed married, Hillary was quoted as saying, 'There are worse things than infidelity.' To which Bill Clinton said, 'Yeah. Fidelity.'" --Jay Leno
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"According to the New York Post, Hillary Clinton used three private jets in a single day in a campaign swing through South Carolina. And today, she was officially named a Hollywood environmentalist." --Jay Leno
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"Hillary Clinton says if she is elected president, she will use Bill Clinton as an ambassador because 'she can't think of a better cheerleader for America.' To which Bill Clinton said, 'I can think of 20 and I have their phone numbers.'" --Conan O'Brien
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"Although Hillary Clinton set the mark by raising $26 million for her presidential campaign in the first quarter of 2007, Mitt Romney, the Republican, was right behind her with $23 million. That's something Hillary hasn't felt in 20 years -- a man breathing down her neck." --Jay Leno
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"Hillary Clinton said today that public appearances with her and Bill would be rare. The only thing more rare? Private appearances with her and Bill." --Jay Leno
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"Hillary Clinton's campaign has issued a statement saying she and Bill will be together this weekend in Selma, Alabama, which will be their first joint appearance together in a month. That's when you know you have a bad marriage -- when you have to put out a press release saying you'll be together for the weekend. You need cameras to record it, in case people don't believe you" --Jay Leno
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"According to this week's Newsweek magazine, Hillary's campaign refuses to consider Bill Clinton's infidelity. ... They called it 'the elephant in the room that no one wants to address.' Which is what got Clinton in trouble in the first place ... the elephant in the room." --Jay Leno
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"Hillary Clinton's campaign wants Barack Obama to publicly renounce Hollywood producer David Geffen's statement attacking the Clintons. ... Geffen said, 'I know everyone in politics has to lie, but the Clintons do it with such ease, it's troubling.' I think that's an unfair statement. Just because you're really good at something doesn't mean it's easy." --Jay Leno
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"The latest political rumor is that if Hillary Clinton wins the presidency, she will be replaced in the Senate by her husband, Bill Clinton. When asked about it, Bill Clinton said, 'I dream of replacing Hillary every day.'" --Conan O'Brien
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"Justice Department officials have determined that a president of the United States does have the legal authority to have someone killed ... in the United States. And today, Bill Clinton withdrew his support for Hillary." --Jay Leno
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"Is anybody really that surprised that Hillary Clinton is running for president? I'm not surprised. I mean, if you were married to Bill Clinton ... wouldn't you want to be able to tap his phone, read his mail, and torture him?" --Jay Leno
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"Of course, the big question political experts are asking now is what role will Bill Clinton play in Hillary's campaign. I'm guessing 'the cheating husband.'" --Jay Leno
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"Yesterday, on a campaign trip, Hillary Clinton suggested that she knows how to deal with evil and bad men, like Osama bin Laden, because she had to put up with her husband. Which explains why Hillary wants to look for bin Laden at the nearest Hooters." --Conan O'Brien
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"In Iowa yesterday, Hillary Clinton was shoring up support a mere year before that state's presidential caucus. She whipped the crowd into a frenzy with her new campaign slogan, 'Let The Conversation Begin.' This may not be the most politically correct thing to say, but I don't think that slogan's going to help you with men. ... I think the typical response would be, 'Now?' You might as well get on your campaign bus, The 'I Think We Really Need To Talk' Express, to unveil your new Iraq policy, 'America, Let's Pull Over And Just Ask For Directions.'" --Jon Stewart
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"Hillary Clinton announced she is running for president of the United States, which isn't a surprise to many people -- except maybe those who just voted her for a second term as senator." --Jay Leno
[ edited by Linda_K on Aug 7, 2007 01:40 PM ]
Are YOU a Bunghole?